The Secret Deafie is a series of anonymous columns written by different writers. Our third contributor tells us about an encounter at a cinema box office…
I went to the cinema the other day to see a subtitled film. No good can come of this if you’re a deaf person, I know, but I thought I would give it a go.
I dutifully went to the cash desk and politely asked for a ticket to see the film of my choosing.
I flaunted my Cinema Exhibitors Association Disability Card and did my discreet “eyes looking to my hearing aid” kind of thing.
The male box office assistant replied: “Cahocarr?”
“Pardon?” I said.
I gave a little sigh, trying to work out on the spot what to do or say next.
I went for: “I can’t tell what you’re saying, sorry.”
A queue was emerging behind me.
He gave me a look of contempt.
Then shouted again:
At this point, I’d like to say I jumped over the cash desk and throttled the man, screaming at him, “Speak the Queen’s English, using full clear sentences, damn you!” then slapping him for his impertinence to roll his eyes at me because I don’t understand lazy dictation. And then kicking him as far as he can fly, ideally to a nearby deaf awareness class.
I didn’t. I wish I had.
By this time, I had finally worked out what he was asking me. “Cash or card?” I waved my credit card at him and gave a steely glare, paid, got my tickets and saw my film.
And then I had my fantasy revenge at home, writing this blog.
Do you have a story or experience you’d like to share? If you’d like to write a Secret Deafie column, just email firstname.lastname@example.org .
The Limping Chicken is the world's most popular Deaf blog, and is edited by Deaf journalist and filmmaker Charlie Swinbourne. Find out how to write for us by clicking here, how to follow us by clicking here, and read our disclaimer here.
The site exists thanks to our supporters. Check them out below:
- Ai-Media: Remote captioning. Find out about the Deaf fashion bloggers taking on the world!
- Bellman & Symfon: home alerting solutions
- Deaf Umbrella: sign language interpreting and communications support
- Appa: Communication services for Deaf, Deafblind and hard of hearing people
- SignLive: Online video interpreting for Deaf people
- SignVideo: Instant BSL video interpreting online
- 121 Captions: captioning and speech-to-text services
- Signature: Leading awarding body for BSL qualifications
- The National Theatre: Captioned and BSL accessible theatre in London
- Doncaster School for the Deaf: education for Deaf children
- Signworld: Learn BSL online!
- Association of Notetaking Professionals: The professional body representing Electronic and Manual Notetakers
- Sign Solutions: communication support, training and translation
- InterpretersLive: On demand BSL video interpretation
- Cast Theatre, Doncaster: The UK's the UK’s first fully BSL integrated pantomime
- Hamilton Lodge School in Brighton: education for Deaf children
- Lipspeaker UK: specialist lipspeaking support
- Ozen: Australian hearing aid specialists
- Elmfield School, Bristol: Inclusive education for Deaf pupils
- deafPLUS: BSL advice helpline
- Exeter Deaf Academy: education for Deaf children
- Royal Shakespeare Company: Captioned and BSL interpreted performances (see dates here)
- Royal School for the Deaf, Derby: Residential education for deaf children
- RAD Tax Advice: Tax and Tax Credit info for Deaf people
- Deaf Independent: Deaf care and support services
- Performance Interpreting: BSL interpreting at concerts
- National Deaf Children's Society: The leading charity for deaf children
- cSeeker: Deaf-led educational communication support service
- Signed Culture: Advocating for BSL access to arts and culture
- SignHealth: healthcare charity for Deaf people
- CJ Interpreting: communication support in BSL
- Action Deafness Communications: sign language and Red Dot online video interpreting
- BSLcourses.co.uk: Provider of online BSL courses
- British Society for Mental Health and Deafness: Promoting positive mental health for deaf people