I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but there seem to be an awful lot of angry Deaf people about.
I bet some of you are already becoming enraged by reading that last sentence. Now, calm down dear! After all, life’s too short and I’m not even bothered. See? Look at my face…
I’m not exactly a stranger to unexpected bouts of Deaf rage myself. We all have our own personal pet hates and in my case, cinema subtitle fails turn me into the Deaf Hulk.
But generally, I tend to be quite forgiving when it comes to what people should/shouldn’t be doing in relation to my hearing loss.
There are times when we have every right to be angry. Services fail, people patronise and in general being Deaf can be quite frustrating, but you’ve got to know where to draw the line.
The worst occasions are when we get mad at each other or people who mean us no harm.
Overall, a lot of people are scared of upsetting us and that’s not necessarily a good thing.
So I think everybody should calm down a bit, let things go and laugh them off.
After all, it’s nearly time for Easter and who could be angry when there’s so much chocolate to eat!
Teresa has now written a response to the reaction to this article, which you can read here: http://limpingchicken.com/2014/05/02/teresa-garratty-what-i-meant-by-my-angry-deaf-people-article/
Teresa is a freelance film maker, photographer and full time cynic. At school, she was voted “Most likely to end up in a lunatic asylum”, a fate which has thus far been avoided. Her pet hates are telephones, intercoms and all living things.
Check out what Limping Chicken’s supporters provide:
- Phonak: innovative technology and products in hearing acoustics.
- Bellman: hearing loss solutions
- Ai-Live: Live captions and transcripts.
- Deaf Umbrella: sign language interpreting and communications support.
- SignVideo: Instant access to BSL interpreters
- 121 Captions: captioning and speech-to-text services.
- Signworld: online BSL learning and teaching materials.
- STAGETEXT: theatre captioning.
- Krazy Kat: visual theatre with BSL.
- SignHealth: healthcare support for Deaf people.
- Deafinitely Theatre: theatre from a Deaf perspective.
- Lipspeaker UK: specialist lipspeaking support.
- SDHH: Deaf television programmes online.
- Sign Solutions:, language and learning.
- Lexicon Signstream: BSL interpreting and communication services.
- Action Deafness Communications: sign language and Red Dot online video interpreting.
- Hamilton Lodge School in Brighton: education for Deaf children.
- RAD Deaf Law Centre: legal advice for Deaf people.
Enjoying our eggs? Support The Limping Chicken:
The Limping Chicken is the world's most popular Deaf blog, and is edited by Deaf journalist, screenwriter and director Charlie Swinbourne.
Our posts represent the opinions of blog authors, they do not represent the site's views or those of the site's editor. Posting a blog does not imply agreement with a blog's content. Read our disclaimer here and read our privacy policy here.
Find out how to write for us by clicking here, and how to follow us by clicking here.
The site exists thanks to our supporters. Check them out below:
- BSL Zone: TV programmes in BSL for the Deaf community
- Deaf Umbrella: sign language interpreting - find out about listening fatigue.
- Bellman & Symfon: home alerting solutions, including the mobile phone transceiver!
- SignVideo: Instant BSL video interpreting online
- SignHealth: check out the BSL health library
- 999 BSL: call 999 in an emergency, in BSL
- Appa: Looking for RSLIs, TSLIs and CSWs, apply here!
- Mary Hare School: Education for deaf children and young people
- Signly: Adding BSL to websites
- Signworld: Learn BSL online!
- DCAL: world-class research into deafness, cognition and language
- Action Deafness: “A Deaf-Led Charity” – interpreting & community support services
- Sign Solutions: Instant access to Interpreters, training and BSL translation nationwide
- InterpretersLive: On demand BSL video interpretation
- Lipspeaker UK: specialist lipspeaking support
- Performance Interpreting: BSL interpreting at concerts
- National Deaf Children's Society: The leading charity for deaf children
Linda Richards
April 7, 2014
Had to do a double take at this and ponder on the validity of the article as I watch a poorly interpreted news session. Again.
The closure of Deaf centres, the decline in education and employment opportunities for Deaf people, the recent ‘Sick of It’ campaign, the frustration of those unable to access basic services via decent telecommunications systems, the tokenistic gestures at giving Deaf people ‘access’, the pain being suffered by those from the government’s cuts, the horrendous stories and real life destroying experiences from ‘Spit the Dummy’, the distorted power of those who make these decisions and the passion and commitment by those who do their bit to challenge, improve or redress these and many other situations are indeed futile exercises and a waste of human emotions such as anger…. Yes, you are right – NOT!
How inane. How obtuse. How insensitive. How annoying.
The views of this author are misguided. A bit of light heartedness helps. However, this article is not that. The ‘pill ‘ offered by this author show we have a long way to go.
The association with chocolate and Easter overlooks the religious significance too. Gosh, Jesus took on a lot when he died for our sins but I bet even he didn’t think it would be such a long hard slog!
Oh, and chocolate, as a sugar rush, just serves the opposite of what the author is promoting…. Instead of calming me, I’m feeing somewhat angry at the moment ….
Alison
April 7, 2014
This is perhaps one of the most patronising posts I’ve read. You are young, which probably accounts for a lot. Without anger from the people before you, there would be no anti-discrimination legislation. The number of years I and others campaigned for Disabled Students’ Allowance (it didn’t always exist, when it did it was a pitiful amount), so people after me could access higher education. To remove an explanatory note in law, so deaf people perhaps can use assisted reproduction more freely. And so it goes on. Without anger, there would be no equality. If you really think things are all hunky dory, tell that to the families of deaf people who have died due to inaccess. Tell that to the deaf people who are in prison because of injustice. Tell that to the many deaf people who have brain damage due to no L1 language.
When was the last time you campaigned to make the world a better place or do you expect others to do that for you, whilst you eat chocolate all day and go LALALALA I am ignoring what goes on out there. Food for thought, from someone who lives in the middle of nowhere.
pennybsl
April 7, 2014
I didn’t expect to see the start of my school break reading an article like this morning and feeling very let down by it.
Yes I was stunned after the last few weeks’ rollercoaster media on Deaf Issues.
I do understand the aim of the article is to to raise a weak smile in our determined faces in the midst of gobsmacking hypocrisy (Government) and ignorance (local authorities) wrecking what is fair in our everyday lives, but as LMR succinctly pointed out, it has the opposite effect.
What has happened, Limping Chicken, this egg really stinks.
Editor
April 7, 2014
Thanks for your comments – just to say that in the last two years, this website has published a range of views from our writers, and will continue to do so. In this case, I think the cartoons and the way the article ends indicates that there is something tongue-in-cheek about it. Ironically, I spent yesterday afternoon and evening writing something quite ‘angry’, so I’m not exactly taking the advice myself – maybe I should! Ed
Dan Sumners (@sumnersdan)
April 7, 2014
Perhaps the comments on this article would have been a little more forgiving if the author had offered a stronger reason for being less angry. For example, anger is usually counterproductive when trying to change things. Without a good reason it’s quite difficult to just stop being angry, especially when it’s justified.
Mick Canavan
April 7, 2014
I don’t think Teresa has said anything too wrong here. She is not telling people to stop campaigning or to stop fighting for their rights…she NEVER said that. She just alluded to the amount of anger (and perhaps stress) that many Deaf people carry with them. She may or may not be right but that is a different discussion to the two comments above.
I personally think that the statement:
‘a lot of people are scared of upsetting us and that’s not necessarily a good thing’
has some resonance and I have definitely seen examples of hearing people who are petrified of making a cultural ‘faux pas’ or of being accused of oppressing Deaf people. In fact I have seen quite a few GOOD hearing people, signers, campaigners, interpreters over the years crying their eyes out due to some of the abuse or comments made to them by an uncaring Deaf (political) person…..and then that same person slowly moving away from the Deaf cause because of the emotional difficulties they have encountered. Of course there are a hundred reasons why these things happen BUT I think Teresa has touched upon an interesting subject which deserves an answer….are there heightened levels of stress and anger within the Deaf community, or within some sections of the Deaf community? It is a health issue as well as a emotive political issue..anger and stress are two emotional states that are very bad for your health!
It can be a very interesting and tricky emotional path when someone from the hearing ‘majority’ aligns themselves with the Deaf cause. As a hearing father of a Deaf daughter I have trod this very path myself and after a while one ends up a little numb to it all. However I have had some insults hurled at me in the past that would be laughable if they were not so destructive in the long term, both in terms of political collaboration and personal emotional distress. Fortunately I came through it all with minimal scaring but that’s not always the case…I know other parents of Deaf kids who also feel the difficulties involved with this cultural ‘exchange’.
Now, I look back on my experience and I can say there is definitely something in what Teresa says…..any minority community that has been under ‘stress’ for decades/centuries and which has been forced to defend their cultural/lingusistic rights etc on a daily basis are bound to have elevated ‘stress levels’….and anger may be the result.
The constant pressure of fighting for rights relating to interpreter provision, bad education, lack of sign, subtitles, minicoms and on and on and on…THIS does have an affect on an individual AND a community. How can it not?
So well done for raising the topic Teresa…it’s what the internet is for! 🙂 It is an issues that has long been discussed in private, over a beer and in the safety of a small group of Deaf and hearing friends…perhaps the issue needs to take central stage and come out from the shadows?
Alison
April 7, 2014
The author would have a lot more tongue in cheek credibility if she was active in campaigning. Until then it looks like something completely different. Just sayin’.
John David Walker
April 7, 2014
I think there is a different between ‘being angry’ and ‘expressing oneself angrily’. Anger is just another form of expression, when something is said with pent up frustration. Those frustrations can be real and due to real experiences of oppression. Watching that anger can be scary, whoever it comes from. Perhaps more so from people who use a visual manual language with fierce facial expressions, or a loud deaf voice.
The article confuses with ‘being angry’. I am angry about many things. How disabled people are suffering from the loss of benefits, how mainstream school children experience isolation, how healthcare is shortening our lives, and so on. But I express that anger in an acute way that allows me to solve the problem, if I can. I don’t sign angrily but give thought provoking comments to make people think.
But while I don’t seem angry, it is my anger and frustration that stems my motivation to make people aware of the problem. Anger is a useful tool that gets me started in the morning and facing the next challenge. I only wish this article was written more acutely. Don’t tell us to stop being angry, but ask us to express that anger in a different way.
Jen Dodds (@deafpower)
April 7, 2014
It’s not healthy to be angry… but we are, for good reason, and flippant attempts to persuade us otherwise are basically unhelpful!
Ted Evans
April 7, 2014
Maybe the wrong choice of words? A lot of deaf people have a lot to be angry for… there is so much crap going on that affects so many deaf people. However I also feel that being aggressive towards people (hearing or deaf) who may be unaware, uneducated or simply doesn’t know anything about our culture, community and the challenges we face on a daily basis, won’t help us at all. Being aggressive will repel them. People won’t help us if we blame them or vent our anger out on to them and we will make it harder for ourselves to achieve more understanding and acceptance within society. It’s a fine line between accepting the world we live in and the majority of people that live in it but also fighting for what is right – a chance to lead an equally happy and successful life just like the next man/woman.
People are angry and understandably so… I was a very angry kid growing up but we can’t fight people if we want to make things better. We need people on our side if we are to be successful in obtaining equality and a better life for deaf people. That means we need hearing people, we need HOH people, we need CODAs, we need Interpreters and we need strangers too… Don’t knock them back because I feel we’d be shooting ourselves in the foot.
Roz
April 7, 2014
Well said Ted. Not all deaf people are the same, different needs, different levels of ease in communicating with sign or spoken word. Some, perhaps, have more to be angry about than others. But awareness seems to me to be the most important thing to be campaigning for, awareness of how diverse the deaf community is, and how easily the hearing may become deaf/HOH.
I think there will be a huge rise in the amount of HOH people in the next 10 years, because I see people on public transport blaring music through their headphones at volumes that cannot be healthy. And for those people they will face a totally different situation and experience to those who are born deaf and with other deaf family members.
There should be more support for each other, whatever ‘category’ of deaf person you are, not misplaced anger.
Janet p
April 7, 2014
We have every right to feel angry, we are treated as second class citizens, migrants to this country have more rights than we have. We have been passive and accepting for many years, the current actions of the government may have been the last straw. Being a little less angry? No we need to shout more.
Robert Mandara
April 7, 2014
My sentiments exactly Janet P! My first reaction to the headline was that we’re not angry enough. We shouldn’t get angry with each other but, instead, let the world at large know that we’re angry and why.
Teresa, I enjoyed your article and like your style. Don’t let the critics get you down.
Miss Hoot
April 7, 2014
Ironic you all got angry at this post… its touched a nerve, and GOOD! If some feel this post is somehow flippant then what does it show about the commentators? I think its really important to talk about all aspects of being deaf. If you want to write a deeply personal emotional article about anger in the deaf community, write it yourselves! This post is meant to shine a light on what deaf people might carry within them, without going too deeply. Good on ya Teresa.
MW
April 7, 2014
When I read it – it reminded me not to be angry but to try and negotiate an understanding why I am angry – her cartoons made me realised that we have still a long way to go in trying to make society “understand us”. I am angry for being in a lower level playing field in politic, in the engagement process within the health sectors (one example their decision CCG without us said we need to address d/Deaf issues and a title came up “SHORT TERM DEAF” I felt patronised and angry but at a lost to redeem my anger). I agree with most who had felt the cartoons/comment lacked sensitivity. Some of us have been campaigining in their unpaid roles to make sure the younger generation gets a better future and not to feel a Deaf Victim as one of my councillors often says in his maiden speech – *sigh*. Can we have cartoon giving merit to those stalewart d/Deaf campaigners who often face the flak, gets angry and frustrated, feeling alone, etc…. as for the egg – no thanks and good luck Teresa.
Angel Sign
April 7, 2014
Good morning all, I saw the headline for this article and thought oooooh interesting ……why? I do have the impression that some Deaf people are more angry than others. I read the article……had a giggle as it is a light hearted way of saying Relax, life is too short! I don’t think the point has been put across to clarify this and therefore that is why some ugly headed monsters have reared themselves. Campaigning for rights is still IMPORTANT, BSL is still IMPORTANT, having our own opinions is still IMPORTANT. Feeling angry all the time, lack of support and blaming the hearing all the time is possibly the key to the headline that was what people were possibly expecting and didn’t see. I think as a Deaf person myself who has been brought up sitting on the fence between worlds can see both sides. The Hearing need a lot of educating as Hearing loss is a hidden disability, and therefore we need visuals to communicate, they need visuals to be reminded. Ignorance is out there in the world with many shapes and forms and sometimes the Deaf need to remember we are not the only ones fighting for a cause. I continue to be shocked at the lack of support particularly in the Communication between Deaf and Hearing however staying ANGRY all the time is not healthy. Limping Chicken were right to allow this article to be published as it is an opinion that needed to be expressed. Perhaps we all need to look at what is making us angry and learn to channel the anger into an effective way that gains outcomes rather than sitting and moaning on social media to each other.
Bob
April 7, 2014
This article could have been interesting, but the argument was poorly presented with a lack of in-depth analysis. I’d say this lack of depth is the reason for the wide range of interpretations you see in the comments.
Is this the type of quality we should expect from the Limping Chicken?
Editor
April 7, 2014
Hi Bob, I appreciate your point of view – you have a right to it. From my perspective as editor, I’ve always aimed to reflect the varied views of deaf people – even if not everyone agrees with it. Articles and opinions lead to discussion and that’s what we see here. That’s what LC is all about, for better or worse! Thanks, Charlie
Jacki
April 8, 2014
Hi. I agree with Bob, the article would have been better if it had a focus – it’s too vague. What is the actual message of the article? Stop being angry? Anger is a bad emotion? It would have been good to see some discussion of coping strategies – because anger is a natural response to our experiences and to stay sane we must deal with our anger in a positive/helpful way.
The responses to the article raise a lot of interesting viewpoints to be explored..
Tim
April 7, 2014
A ‘blame the oppressed’ post. Fumbling the ball into our court.
I’m angry and I think we have never had more reason or right to be.
Angel Sign
April 7, 2014
What are you angry at Tim??? Clarification is the key here !!!!
MW
April 7, 2014
Tim..forgive me but I don’t quite understand “blame the oppressed” and “fumbling the ball in our court”. @Angel if Tim feels able to be angry then he is allowed and he doesn’t need to explain that to you should he not want to – sounds like you disapproved of his abilities to expressed his anger. Ok you ask for clarification – what it is you want?….
Tim
April 7, 2014
Hi. When Deaf people are being treated badly, some people will make out that it is our reaction, in this case, anger, that is the problem when actually it is the bad treatment that is the problem. That’s what I mean.
Angel Sign
April 7, 2014
Thankyou Tim 😀
Angel Sign
April 7, 2014
Hi MW…….I have no reason to disapprove of his anger and sorry if that is how you felt I came across. As a Deaf person who has issues with communication problems yet gets on with life as best as possible I merely asked Tim out of curiosity what made him angry. Tim has kindly clarified his anger for me below so I can get a clearer picture of the different angers that causes issues among our societies. I meant no offence
Bongo
April 7, 2014
I would say that the twee pictures and the article from a hearing loss perspective sums it up why others view this article as frippery? Did Teresa experience woeful access to any kind of education? Could she communicate with her family? Did she have friends that lived nearby? And so on…
Tim Cole
April 7, 2014
Anger? A negative and energy consuming emotion as I know to my cost from my younger days. Recognising it for what it is has become a positive way forward for many! Calm down and do something positive is my way. I CAN’T HEAR YOU WHEN YOU SHOUT AT ME!
Tim Cole
April 7, 2014
Go Teresa, a brave and valid perspective!
Sensorineural Blues
April 7, 2014
I don’t think Teresa means “angry”. I think she means “chippy”, in which case I think she’s absolutely right.
Tim Cole
April 7, 2014
Hi S/B, do you mean chippy on shouldery? The same chip I mentioned on an FB post…….
Sensorineural Blues
April 8, 2014
Hi Tim, Not sure what shouldery means (I’d like to know though!). My “chippy” point is that many deaf folk seem to have a totally negative outlook and view the world as their enemy. I absolutely agree how important it is to highlight the challenges faced by deaf people and to campaign vigorously for better benefits and services. But I think there’s a danger that these campaigns will become obsessions and the issues will subsume their attitudes and personalities. I sometimes see these symptoms in myself. In fact my wife has started calling me Victor Meldrew. Time to reflect…
The Tree House
April 7, 2014
This article is a good way to make light of the facts around us – it is relatively true and reminds people not to take things so seriously. Not to be so immersed and concentrated. Not to be fighting all the time. It is not directed at people who campaign tirelessly but at the attitude within societies that give off those vibes of us not being a welcoming and positive community which is in turn misleading them?
Alison
April 7, 2014
‘If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.’ Desmond Tutu.
Matt Brown
April 7, 2014
Some people don’t have anything else.
donaldo of the wasatch
April 7, 2014
“deaf/Deaf” anger is a a known but often unrecognized problem in the community and society. “it has a label “deaf anger/rage.” This problem (anger) never helps us. I consider anger to be the community’s number one social problem. It is embarrassing to observe deaf people playing basketball and to observe that anger as they get angry with one another. A prominent religious leader once said, (paraphrased), to be offended when no offense was intended is to be a fool. As a life long (pre lingual) deaf individual, anger is our most foolish and worst behavior. It prevents us from first, learning from our afflictions, and then it makes it increasingly difficult for us to have an impact in our efforts to be contributing and participating members of society. It makes us look worst than “dumb” but rather really stupid. So contrary to so many of the comments here, I will say what she wrote is very instructive and we should have the humility, respect, and gratitude to appreciate some insight from one of our own. Anger makes us so unappealing. Want to be invited to solve the issues? This is why we get dismissed from the tables of discussions. Even if we have a reason for anger, it does not help us to embrace, tout and wallow in it. Time to reflect, but then anger makes that impossible doesn’t it? It is the number one reason I don’t spend a lot of time around deaf (angry) people. We are our own worst bigots. And folks, the bureaucrats hate us for it too. Wonder why interpreters burn out fast? This is why! So instead of taking some sound and timely advice we turn on one of our own! So start playing nicer!
donaldo of the wasatch
April 7, 2014
Forgot to check the boxes to follow my own post. So checking the boxes here and now.
Miss Hoot
April 7, 2014
‘When you are offended at any man’s fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger’ – Epictetus.
Angel Sign
April 7, 2014
Miss Hoot…….what a fantastic saying 😀
Miss Hoot
April 7, 2014
Instead of turning all these angry posts into a dig at the writer, why don’t you look in the mirror? Its not about whats Teresa’s said or omitted from her post, its not about flippancy or a lack of understanding. This is a deaf writer making a light hearted dig at the way SHE reacts with anger – not a comment on everyones reaction. So I ask you all – why is this post in particular making you feel so victimised? Maybe Limping Chicken needs to take this as a serious issue and make sure its written about elsewhere on the site – so a light hearted commentary on the personal difficulties of one person are not translated, somehow, into the anger issues of the ENTIRE deaf community. You want to make it personal? Take it somewhere else.
donaldo of the wasatch
April 7, 2014
Thank you for your sane articulation. My two comments follow yours and should be fuel to fire up your position as so reasonable.
Angel Sign
April 7, 2014
Well said Miss Hoot 😀
donaldo of the wasatch
April 7, 2014
I know there were a lot of angry posts, and I am grateful for them. This is in my sensibility, the most important problem facing the Deaf community. It is a horrible issue. And here is a mainstream and recognized blog talking about it. Thank you limping chicken! Thank you for having the courage to get us to focus on issues that are important. all of us, younger or older, need to have this discussion. And more importantly we need to take initiative and action to deal with it.
donaldo of the wasatch
April 7, 2014
When doctors, and educators who deal with the deaf, Deaf, and HoH provide public instructions on how to communicate with us – this is never said first, but should be. I have never seen any printed or video medium o it, but I know from experience it is true. . The number one instruction should be – calm! Why? Because when people are anger, tense, hyper, anxious – there linguistic skills deteriorate. Linguistic skills (whether spoken SL or both) are impaired when the communication situation is fraught with tension! So before you communicate (sign, speak or both) get both (all) parties to be first – clam. I had a former spouse who had issues with anger. And my ability to discriminate her communications were always impaired when he became angry. And the harder I tried to “listen” to her communication the poorer my discrimination to understand her became. And her anger was that “I was not listening.” That is true for both SL and Spoken communications. So defensive postures make us poorer (piss poor) communicators. In the sign language posture we are more passionate and intense in our passions emotionally and physically. While it helps us, it is frankly startling to those who have NO frame of reference to understand why we do this. So anger folks is a terrible tutor and instructor – awful! And here is an ultimate irony – awful. Originally in the British culture centuries ago it meant “full of awe.” That takes respect, humility, gratitude to achieve that kind of personal posture and it would serve us so much better than all this STUPID anger. We need passion – smart passion. Our STUPID anger is what gives the bureaucrats credence for reduction in personnel and services to meet our communication needs. STUPID anger is why employers do not want to hire the deaf and Deaf. We scare them. We progressively need to acquire a more graceful posture when communicating with anyone. And the only ones who can most effectively communicate that is ourselves. But, we need to communicate that with grace, not exuburant passion/anger. If it is to be, it is up to me. 10 words, twenty letters. You have to communicate with your audience in mind, not your personal preference. If you communicate with your personal preference of exuberant passions and anger – expect to be silenced by the very audience that you are trying to make a point with. So who then is the selfish?
Tim Cole
April 7, 2014
Donaldo, thank you. Honesty is transparent and this thread needed your comments.
Lesley
April 7, 2014
Oh my days, my dear we are not the bunch of naughty school kids you make us out to be, many of us have spent a long time campaigning through ANGER to make the world a bit better, if you want to stuff your face with chocolate I really don’t have a problem at all but remember The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough.
Joanne
May 2, 2014
Well done Teresa!!! A witty, tongue in cheek article that that made me smile. Sure, there is a lot that is wrong with the way Deaf people are treated, as there is with many other groups. There is a lot that has changed over the years due to constructive campaigning, and well done to the many organisations and people that have made that happen. Sure, we get angry at times, it is a human emotion, but anger doesn’t achieve change, it is the mix of all our emotions that when focused in the right direction achieves results!
But anyway, back to the beginning of my post… Well done Teresa….. Let her have a regular column of witty observations. I am sure it will create plenty of debate!!!!! (good thing btw)
Editor
May 2, 2014
Hi Joanne, Thanks for your comment. Teresa is a contributing editor for the site so you’ll be reading more of her writing soon! Thanks, Charlie (Ed)
Lisa
February 25, 2015
I posted this on the article that follows his one – but intended it to be on this page.
First of all I’d like to say I think it’s wonderful that deaf people feel a sense of community and sign language allows you to communicate and express yourselves. That’s as far as I will go in applauding deaf culture. My daughter is profoundly deaf – unfortunately my experience as her mother has been one where many in the deaf community believe I did not believe my daughter was perfect to begin with or that I was looking for a quick fix …
Why? Because I chose for her to have bilateral cochlear implants.
This article articulates my experience from the deaf community – many have a heightened sense of anger in my decision for my daughters CIs. These strangers feel it is their right to tell me my child does not need to hear – by “changing her” I am perceived as everything from a bad mother; accused of child abuse to instilling into my daughter she was not good enough – which are all truly horrific and incomparable. Whether you admit it or not there is a large majority of deaf people who ferociously debate with you that CIs have a negative impact on the deaf community and deaf culture.
I am sorry if you believe otherwise, as in some deaf people are not angry individuals. There are a lot out there who are – here’s one man for an example. I’ll gladly copy and paste a paragraph from his rant.
“The problem isn’t that I don’t hear, the problem is your monoculture, monolingual ethnocentrism which refuses to sign. You create the disability. If everyone signed but you relied only on mere listening and speaking then you’d be the disabled one. I can do anything but because I wasn’t given access to total communication is why I live a life of pain + suffering- and you blame me. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Deafness doesn’t cause my suffering, but rather, lack of accommodation. Being Deaf isn’t the problem, but rather, your Audism and Surdophobia that alienates me. You blame the victim when you point the finger at me. Im not the one who caused my problems, you are. I fucking hate you for not accepting me. You think Im a sinner that needed my willpower spanked out of me. You think my failings are my fault. Again, Im a fish out of water and you want me to act like a mammal. Call a spade a spade. Let me be Deaf.”
http://brotheryellow.com/2014/01/30/angry-deaf-man/
There are MANY more I could add. But it would be a novel by the time I finish this.
The problem is MY DAUGHTER HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION WHERE HER MEMORY IS AFFECTED. Yes, I capitalised it – to get the point across that SHE could NOT sign because she could not retain the information, making communication with everyone IMPOSSIBLE. She could not communicate with those in the deaf community – yet she could not communicate with those in the hearing community. Cochlear implants have made her able to not only hear but live in a world where she can learn with less stress, anxiety, mental health issues and depression.
In my experience deaf people are angry. I have read many articles over the years where those with implants have betrayed the deaf community. I have had deaf people approach my daughter and I, accuse me of making the wrong decision. Without even knowing her medical background or how this decision was not taken lightly. We tried Auslan. We had a deaf tutor at one point as well. Our son who was younger than my daughter learnt more Auslan than she did. In fact we all did – to this day when I see a deaf person in the shop, having difficulties communicating with the shop attendant, I walk past … I do not assist them, help them, advocate for them, or translate for them. Why? Because I have met one deaf lady in the six years since my daughters CIs where she accepted I did the very best I could as a mother of a little girl who did not choose to live a life with not only deafness but heart issues, heart operations, short stature, infertility and who cannot remember even her times tables at 12 years old. The rest of them never thought twice in advocating for me. Helping me. Understanding my reasons.
I ask the deaf community this – is this what you want society to see you as? Is this what you want parents like myself who have children with more medical needs than just deafness to read? What good will it do? You are only showing me one thing, and that is I am very glad I chose CIs for my daughter. If THIS is your culture – one of playing the blame game – I am very glad my little girl is not brainwashed to believe such nonsense. I would never ever call a deaf person stupid – many things that are written by the deaf or anti CIs unfortunately are though. Some examples?
“Deafness cannot and does not need to be undone. My family has learned to live with their being deaf as I have. Being deaf is being normal in every sense of the word. No need for anything like a cochlear implant.”
“The Right to be Deaf – the birthright of all deaf people, and should not be denied to any deaf child.” That sums it all up right there. Who has the right to tell a deaf child that they are insufficient as they are? No one does. Yet, many who try to implant them with a cochlear implant don’t realize this! They try to tell the child that they are not good enough as they are being deaf. What gives them this right?”
“Why can’t people just accept us as we are? Why would they want to change us into what we aren’t? Why would they want to implant deaf? Some even want to implant all deaf! What has this world come to?”
“NO one care but I deeply CARE for these Deaf children as well. Deaf children is so innocent and deserve to accept the positive reinforcement for their being deaf from the beginning. We do not need anyone to put them into a very negative reinforcement that Deaf or Deafness is bad negative word. Deaf people is not allowed to be Deaf if they are happy with which it is a totally wrong. All I’m seeing these people who loves to degrade people whoever disagree, as they believe Deaf children need CI.”
All comments copied from the link below:
http://www.cochlearwar.com/introduction.html
I will end with this – those of you in the deaf community who are angry at parents who choose for their child to have CIs – you pollute my the notion that parents have a right to make informed decisions about their child’s future. It’s not me or other mothers like me who have a problem it is the many who express your anger on this issue in very harmful and detrimental ways.
Enable young deaf people, young hearing impaired people, young people with hearing aides BAHAs or CIs. Enable – don’t disable based on hearing devices. My daughter LOVES her profound deafness – arguing with her brothers and taking her CIs off so she can’t hear him argue back. She loves taking them off in class so she can concentrate better on her work. She loves a silent bath at night – free from a noisy background. She loves having that power to choose when she wants to hear and when she needs silence. How I love that about her. But she told me recently what she loves most of all (besides the many things she said about having the ability to hear) was “hearing you mummy tell me in your own voice I LOVE you.”
donaldo of the wasatch
February 25, 2015
What makes her post valid is this. Instead of attacking the issues she posed, so many of the commenters attacked the person. Look through all the comments, you attacked the writer. You attacked the person. You LAGELY Ignored what she was addressing, then you attacked her. Then you digress into issues that she did not write or comment on. This is why the Deaf community is becoming more and more irrelevant.
So rather than trying to understand – you demonstrated and validated exactly the very anger she wrote about. You brilliantly proved her point. Your expressions are arguemtuive not providing a basis for comprehending two very different but real points.
I just celebrated my 60th anniversary of hearing 2 weeks ago. I heard for the first time on my 4th birthday. That was 64 years ago. I wear bilateral CI’s now. It gives me so much access to all of society and the opportunities therein. I am able to hear and also go silent whenever I want to. Not always polite, but I can push that button whenever I want to.
This is why the Deaf culture is shrinking and dying. Dying in and because of its rage.
The Deaf Culture Rage is why a lot of deaf adults find it difficult to find employment and full access because of the rage that you so vehemently raise at your fingers. We are tainted by your anger.
Those that hear are not my enemies. Any person, disabled or not, that uses profanity, vulgar personal attacks – are.