Teresa Garratty: It’s fun to swap the word ‘deaf’ with ‘death’ in film titles. Have a try

Posted on August 14, 2015

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teresa garratty

Now that my film-making diary is all done and dusted, I’ll stop banging on about films all the time…or probably not. Oh well, lets find out.

Have you noticed, that a slip of the tongue is pretty common?

Letters get swapped about mid sentence…

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Words replace each other…

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Sometimes you know what you want to say and it does kind of make sense but it’s also horribly wrong and confusing…like that unfortunate incident with my hairdresser.

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There is one slip in particular that keeps making an appearance in my life and it usually goes something like this….

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So now that I’m sat here, friendless as everyone thinks I’m death, I decided to use the slip for my own enjoyment…and here’s how!

Film/TV titles (yes, we’re back to films again already, there is no escape!). Pick a film/TV show with the word “death” in the title, swap it for the word “deaf” and watch the plot change before your very eyes.

Sometimes it’s glorious, sometimes it’s horrific and sometimes it’s…well…a bit boring really. To illustrate my point (complete with illustrations!) I’ve made a list of some of my favourites…I’d totally watch some, nay, all, I would watch all of these!

Deaf in Paradise

A bunch of deaf people live in harmony in some beautiful tropical island somewhere and have all their access needs met without any complications. Everything on TV is subtitled to perfection and intercoms are non existent….Ahhh bliss.

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Real show : Death in Paradise

Deaf Race

A bunch of deaf people people decide to have a race but none of them hear the start gun and so the race never actually happens…Can you feel the tension?!

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Real Film: Death Race

Deaf at a Funeral

A deaf person’s awkward experience of what it’s like attend a funeral when you have no idea what’s going on.

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 Real film: Death at a Funeral

Deaf Note

A deaf person leaves a mysterious (or not) note for someone to find.

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Real film: Death Note

Game of Deaf

Some God awful TV game show where the contestants are deaf and forced to overcome challenges as fast as possible.

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Real Film: Game of Death

Deafwatch

A deaf person buys a new watch…it’s alarm function vibrates and flashes and stuff…win!

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Real Film: Deathwatch

Deaf in the Desert

After a cruel misunderstanding a Deaf person is suddenly dropped in the middle of the desert and to make matters worse…all they’ve been given is a walkie talkie!

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Real Film: Death in the Desert

Kiss of Deaf

Deaf people kissing….Wait a second…I think I’ve seen this one already!

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Real Film: Kiss of Death

The Last Deaf

Some kind of apocalyptic disaster wipes out pretty much everyone on earth and now there’s only one deaf person left on the planet. They can’t hear much but it’s OK, as there’s not that much left to hear.

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Real Film: The Last Death

Deaf in Brunswick

Probably the sequel to Deaf in Paradise. The sequels are rarely as good as the originals.

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Real Film: Death in Brunswick

Deaf Tunnel

A deaf person is trapped in a tunnel…and there’s another deaf person trapped at the other end. Neither hear each others cries for help…bummer.

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Real Film: Death Tunnel

There’s endless fun to be had here and I’m sure you can all think of plenty of other films/TV shows, who knows, maybe one day they will actually be produced?…(well, some of them…). I’d love to come up with some more but I’ve got work to do…

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Teresa is a freelance film maker, photographer and full time cynic. At school, she was voted “Most likely to end up in a lunatic asylum”, a fate which has thus far been avoided. Her pet hates are telephones, intercoms and all living things.

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