Teresa Garratty: Lame Halloween costumes for Deaf people!

Posted on October 27, 2015 by



Halloween is by far the best of all the years festivities. It’s the only time of year you can by bucket loads of sweets without being judged by on lookers.

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And that’s not all, you get to dress up in strange attire with the intention of terrorising other people, no questions asked.

I’m not usually a costume fan as it requires some form of actual effort, but I just can’t help myself when it comes to Halloween because even the crappiest of costumes can somehow become absurdly awesome.

If you’re ever stuck for any ideas, check out the following list where I present to you some of the worst, “deaf tailored” costume ideas I could be bothered to think of.

They’re so bad….they’re almost good!

Deaf

We’ll start off fairly easy and predictable. Throw on a black hooded robe and adopt an east London accent for added bonus points.

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The Walking Deaf

You’re essentially a deaf zombie here and all that’s required is that you walk around slowly, with a blank expression. Again, nice and easy.

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The Infected

An awful lot of costumes seem to run along the theme of someone being riddled with an incurable disease/virus/voodoo curse that reanimates dead flesh or something, so for a quick and easy costume, why not break out that old bottle of ear drops and tell everyone you are the infected. Done.

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Silent Film Star

Ramping up the effort scale here, this is for all the deafies who have been invited to a hearing majority party and would like their costume to double up as a communication device.

All you have to do is wear “old-timey” black and white clothing and bring along a chalkboard. Effective AND practical!

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A Vampire with mediocre BSL skills

If you want to keep it traditional but are still looking to scrape the barrel on the deaf theme, you can don a cape, pop in some fangs and try to sign all night even though you’re actually pretty crap at BSL because you’re still learning.

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A Subtitle

Maybe you’re looking to scare just the hearies? Well nothing repels them quicker than a bit of captioning. Anything that looks remotely like its providing access to visual media, usually gets them running scared. Like a cat on hot bricks.

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An Intercom

On the flip-side, if it’s just the deafies you want to scare, then stick a box over your head and ask them to press the button before speaking. Intercoms are just the worst.

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A Deaf Leopard

Yes. Finally. We’ve ventured into the realm of word play. What we’re aiming for here is a link to the band Def Leopard, when what we’re actually doing is just wearing a cat costume and asking people to repeat themselves.

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Deaf Jam

Still on the word play here. This time we’re echoing an iconic record label…by dressing up as a jar of jam that can’t hear things. Everyone will love it, trust me.

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The Invisible Man/Woman

If you’re one of these people who’d rather avoid the whole Halloween shin-dig altogether, then just don’t go. When people ask why you didn’t show up, simply tell them that you had the most epic invisible man/woman costume ever. Then ask them why you didn’t win the best costume trophy?!

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Happy Halloween!

Teresa is a freelance film maker, photographer and full time cynic. At school, she was voted “Most likely to end up in a lunatic asylum”, a fate which has thus far been avoided. Her pet hates are telephones, intercoms and all living things.

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