Stephen Lloyd: Do you get ‘Itchy Lug Syndrome’?

Posted on February 6, 2016

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I’ve noticed over the last few years that people are mentioning “itchy ears” more and that they have developed the cursed itch, and I know reading this will make you want a waggle of your own.

Today, after having a hair cut, taking my aids out and popping them back in, dashing home, taking them out again to wash my hair in my prefered tea tree shampoo and rushing out again that I’ve been irritated by a dreadful niggle and considerable loss in quality of sound.

I get Itchy Lug Syndrome on occasion like most people who wear hearing aids and I know its down to the little hairs growing in the ear canal, and maybe a little congestion somewhere along the route, bearing in mind that nothing smaller than your elbows should go in your ears, regular grooming and trimming is essential especially for those who are likely to be close up in the public eye i.e. on public transport.

There’s nothing worse in my mind to see someone with fingers or a rolled up bus ticket giving their lugs a waggle. But its been known for me to unplug and have a waggle myself. Its my own fault that I should have rinsed and dried my lugs before going out, and checking my lug plugs as for fiddling about for the hour on the bus and discovering a blocked tube with cerumen (wax) and giving it a blow, will inadvertently force the blockage out at speed towards another passenger.

So what do you do IF it happens to you…Yeah! you duck avoid any eye contact and pray nobody witnessed the projectile land.

Getting off the bus after an hour of constant wiggle and scratch, and finding a toilet to stick my finger in to find little snippets of hairdust, that have been left acting like the itching powder like you used to buy from the joke shop. Now being a little sore and causing irritation any attempt to remedy the situation is futile so keeping my aids out for a few hours is the only option.

At home I secretly pinch the tweezers from the girls make up bags, and I sit watching the telly or reading and pluck out the pesky hairs, its better to do it on your own when theres no one about as you get a right moaning at. You can buy little battery nose/ear clippers but the idea of torture is better…

Mentioning the itchy lug catches on like an epidemic and in this day of Internet, social sites and blogging the spread is phenominal, and you have created a worldwide lugole itch, the itchy lug syndrome.

Stephen Lloyd aka @sirgarg Lives in Cheshire and works as a support worker with Adults with Learning disabilities, part time deaf philosopher and deaf “jedi” tweeter. 

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