Being at the hairdressers is a prime time for people to gossip. But as a deaf person, when I take my hearing aids out I can’t join in the conversations!
I caught snippets of the conversation about council housing, benefits and London but I couldn’t say what the finer details of the conversation were.
The other ladies, having their hair washed at the sink, seemed VERY animated and I wished I could have added my two cents as I have lived in London before. I wanted to educate them about my own personal experiences but alas I couldn’t.
Luckily there’s a Deaf hairdresser at the salon who signs so when we could we spoke about how we couldn’t join the conversations the hearing people had and also observations about the people in the salon.
Hearing people take conversations for granted but as a D/deaf person conversations are a challenge. With or without hearing aids. (Capital ‘D’ for those whose first language is British Sign Language and small ‘d’ for those who primarily use speech).
It makes the D/deaf person feel quite isolated, especially if they can’t communicate all day. Imagine being in the same room as people and they were talking a foreign language? After a while you would be bored wouldn’t you. That’s how many D/deaf people feel when their access needs are not met.
If only there was a way to make D/deaf people’s access needs always met in conversations. Oh wait there are ways. It just means the hearing person needs to either face the D/deaf person so that they can lip read, write things down or learn BSL if the D/deaf person uses it. Lip reading is tiring work as many words look the same on the lips. For example, ‘I love you’ and ‘I like you’. You’d be very embarrassed if you caught the wrong end of the stick!
Please have patience when conversing with a D/deaf person. We all want to be heard.
Lianne Herbert is a deaf professional writer. Lianne is also on a Copywriting course to enhance her freelance prospects. She is currently involved with the West Yorkshire Playhouse on a Playwright course.
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Cathy
March 22, 2016
Lianne, I am exactly the same as you: I visit my hairdresser at her home and when I take my aids out, there is no way of conversing with her, apart from lipreading.
I usually take a magazine with me so Iam not bored and can only converse with her once my aids are back in and even then it can be difficult.
There is no sure fire way of making deaf people inclusive in day to day hearing conversation. This is why I say it is the worse disability to have as we are cut off from people. I cannot see how such isolation can be solved. It is no more solvable than helping the blind to be inclusive at the theatre so they can see a show, rather than just hear it.
You say it can be done by lipreading, but in groups that is near impossible and hearies become exasperated having to repeat themselves! And you cannot lipread when having your hair washed, anyway!
Hearies wont all start signing for us, either. Firstly they have to be interested, secondly, they need bulging pockets to pay for it all! I haven’t found either of these things plentiful.
The sad fact is deaf people will never be inclusive in day to day hearing conversation unless, one day, someone clever actually brings about a cure for deafness!
alison mcbride
March 23, 2016
i am a 60 year old hearing woman and i can tell you honestly i have never ever had a conversation with another customer in a salon – music , hairdryers , people talking … never !
Natalie Mulley
April 5, 2016
I honestly have a great hairdresser. She’s hearing, and I went deaf as an adult so as I’ve learnt sign language I’ve developed a habit of speaking and signing together. She’s picked up on what I’m doing as I’m doing it, and learned a handful of signs herself – makes life much easier. Doesn’t lend itself to easy chatting though and it is a shame that I can’t really join in with other customers chatting, but the fact that the hairdressers are so happy to use what little sign they know is wonderful. I’ve also found it amazing how many people who do sign (at least a little); for example, my local Lush as guy working there who’s hearing but has a friend who’s deaf so he signs very well 🙂
I don’t think we need to cure deafness to be included, just open and happy to chat. I get lucky in a way having been hearing for so long, but I know plenty of people who have been deaf all their lives who happily interact with hearing people. I tend to find that when I explain I need to lipread because I’m deaf, hearing people get inquisitive and like to ask questions like ‘Have you always been deaf? No? How did it happen?’ and ‘So how do you say ‘such and such’ in sign?’.
Now, if they could cure the vertigo that comes with Meniere’s, I’ll happily take that 🙂