Rebecca-Anne Withey: When did others decide they know what’s best for Deaf people?

Posted on September 3, 2018 by



It’s a funny old world we live in. Just when I think everything is going smoothly – Access to Work are paying invoices on time, my daughters’s school teachers are learning BSL, I’m discovering the joys of Sign Live – something has to happen to remind me that when it comes to being Deaf, life is still not plain sailing. Sighs.

And the problem? I’m being told what I can or cannot do.

You see, I recently signed up to a course which involves an initial consultation. The course, free of charge to those with certain qualifications, is delivered via online modules so it’s easy peasy to access if English is your preferred language. The initial consultation, however, has to be done in person with the course leader.

To register for this I sent an email to the course leader and casually informed him that I was deaf, and seeing as it was a brief one-on-one meeting, I stated I was happy to just lipread. It’s my prerogative after all, right?!

Oh no.

Guess what I was told? The course leader stated that seeing as he was “not qualified to work with those with hearing difficulties” it would be best for me to seek elsewhere. He then suggested I work with one of his colleagues, who has level 1 BSL and who would charge me £60 instead of the free service I was initially signed up to.

I. Was.     Gobsmacked.

First of all, do people really think that I would put myself in a situation where I wasn’t confident communicating? If I tell someone I will lip read it’s because that’s what I want. I’m not just being polite.

And secondly, Level 1 BSL… seriously?! No doubt this beginner signer would be able to do greetings, basic questions and the like, but if I switched my voice off and signed in full gusto, I think they’d be in for a shock.

I know that some of my friends have experienced the same problem but in the opposite way. They’ve requested interpreters for medical appointments but have been told they “don’t need one because it’s only a ten minute slot.” Or they’ve asked for specific support such as a lip-speaker but have been sent a BSL interpreter because – after all – “all deaf people sign!”

When did other people decide they know what’s best for us? On one hand we’ve got those who assume we need specialist help in all situations from often under qualified, expensive and inexperienced “experienced” people. (Which is not a dig at professional BSL interpreters who are invaluable!) And theeeeen we have those who don’t want to consider our needs and shuffle us into things without support because they assume “you’ll be fine!”

In the same way, many hearing organisations jump on the “accessible bandwagon” and implement changes to their company that they think makes them Deaf-friendly before even consulting with a qualified Deaf professional.

Come on, guys. You need to start asking questions and more importantly, start listening. And they call
Us deaf, ha!

And don’t get me started on the checkout lady in Tesco who later that day asked me “is it hard…being deaf” and retorted “it must be so lonely!” before I even had a chance to reply.

There’s just no getting through to some people.

I haven’t replied to the course leader yet. I want to and for educations sake, I blooming HAVE to. So, dear readers, any suggestions as to what I should say?

Rebecca-Anne Withey is a freelance writer with a background in Performing Arts & Holistic health. Read more of Rebecca’s articles for us here.

She is also profoundly deaf, a sign language user and pretty great lipreader. 

Her holistic practices and qualifications include Mindfulness, Professional Relaxation Therapy, Crystal Therapy and Reiki. 

She writes on varied topics close to her heart in the hope that they may serve to inspire others.


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