I have just got home from a lovely ride in the local country park with my deaf son who, apparently, is not ‘alright’ according to the locum doctor.
He seems perfectly fine to me so I am not sure why anyone would think there’s anything wrong with him.
This label came about on a routine visit to the doctor.
It was one of those days where one of my kids was ill. This time, it was my hearing daughter, so off I trotted to the doctor and on arrival, I was told the locum doctor would see me.
‘Here I go,’ I thought … something about my deafness would surely come up. I have been subjected to endless questions about my deafness whenever I meet a new GP.
The questions vary but the answers are always the same.
Doctor: You’re deaf?
Me: Yes I am.
Doctor: But you speak so well?
Me: Er, *smiles awkwardly* … thinking … ‘what am I supposed to say?’
Doctor: Can you hear at all or do you just lipread?
Me: Erm, yes I can hear a bit but yes I lipread too …. *Silence* Erm, anyway, I have come here to discuss my problem.
Doctor: Oh, yes of course. How can I help?
Other times it goes like this:
Me: Hello.
Doctor: Hello, I see from your records you are deaf?
Me: Yes I am.
Doctor: Your family is deaf too?
Me: Yes, my parents, my sister, my son.
Doctor: Wow, so it’s genetic?
Me: Yes, I have Waardenburg syndrome so yes my deafness is hereditary.
Doctor: I have never heard of this before. Oh, your eyes are a different colour, wow!
Me: Yes, it’s part of the deaf gene.
Then the conversation steers towards methods of communication, sign language and so on.
Getting back to my daughter on this occasion, the locum doctor said to me, with a shocked expression, “you’re deaf?”
“Yes,” I reply.
“But your daughter, she’s alright isn’t she?” she asked.
“If you mean, is she hearing, then yes she is hearing.”
Grr, I think. What am I then? Not alright? I think I’m perfectly fine, thank you very much.
Next time, I visit the doctor along with my deaf son. Again, we meet the lovely locum doctor. On seeing my son’s hearing aid, the locum doctor gasped with a look of horror and pointed to his hearing aid.
Doctor: He’s deaf?
Me: Yes, he is deaf.
Doctor: But your daughter, she’s alright isn’t she?
I’m fuming. She says this in front of my 9 year-old son who looks confused.
Me: Yes, my daughter is hearing, but my son is alright. There is nothing wrong with him. Yes, he is deaf but that doesn’t matter to me, I can communicate with him just fine.
The conversation goes on for a bit, and finally we come round to sorting out my son’s earache or virus.
Luckily my son doesn’t seem to be too affected by what happened, but I am furious.
I thought I should make a formal complaint but then I think, ‘what difference would it make?’ Hearing people out there don’t understand that people who are culturally deaf are happy as they are.
My life, in many ways, is just the same as the lives of hearing people. I just face more barriers and prejudices.
Kate Rowley is a sign language researcher and is most passionate about deaf education and deaf children. Her main ambition is to ‘change the world’, to make a real difference to deaf children’s lives. Kate grew up in a deaf family, and went to a deaf secondary school. Her favourite things in the world are watching TV series, reading, spending time chatting and debating with other deafies!
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Liz
April 3, 2012
If it was me, I would make a complaint because GPs or doctors should be more clued up than the general public! I think it’s a disgrace that you and your children have had to deal with such ridiculous attitudes. On one hand, maybe I’m not that surprised considering that GPs are often a jack of all trades and not specialists, so they end up taking on the attitudes of the status quo, but still…
It’s also okay for you to say you’re not happy with your GP to pursue the questioning about being deaf if you’re not there for that reason! They are there for health reasons, not to make people feel uncomfortable. Either they’re fascinated with deafness or they’re trying to seem like they ‘know it all’, I don’t know. Odd.
David
April 3, 2012
Damfool questions like these deserve smart-a$$ replies.
However, I might also respond by asking “Are you trying to be offensive or are you really that ignorant?”
David
bozothewondernerd
April 3, 2012
Many of us ordinary folk are really that ignorant … AND that interested.
G.P.’s are no exception.
Sure, indicate that it’s currently inappropriate to discuss your own deafness (e.g. you are here about xxx, not deafness, and haven’t the time to go off at a tangent) but remember that folk can only cure their ignorance by learning … and learning comes from asking questions! (Would you rebutt a child that asked about your deafness? If no, then think about it – an adult who’s not been exposed to deafness is just like that child.)
Good comment about, ‘alright’ – I can understand the cultural bias at work. I could easily have said it myself – it gave me proper pause for thought – thankyou.
paulatsign
April 3, 2012
Very good piece. I normally favour complaining, but it can sometimes lead to confrontation. This post says it all. Why not send the practice manager a link to the post? Or get someone else to forward it. They can then learn from it – without feeling defensive and embarrassed.
David
April 3, 2012
I agree with Liz that a physician should be held to a higher standard than the general public.
However, bozothewondernerd also has a point. I had forgotten that GP’s in the UK have many fewer years of school and training than Family Practice (FP) or Internal Medicine (IM) physicians in the US. Were I in the UK, I’d have to give the GP the benefit of the doubt and offer some words of instruction.
It sounds like you must see a different doctor at each visit and cannot develop an ongoing relationship with a single physician. That must make for many frustrations.
David
Claire Boyles
April 3, 2012
I’m not sure it’s about “making a complaint”, rather “making the doctor aware” that what he said was innapropriate, it seems that for him, being deaf is not alright, which is fair enough from his perspective. That does not mean that it is appropriate to use HIS language/ view to label someone else, particularly someone vulnerable (your son).
So yes, please do provide feedback to the surgery & the locum who used this language, and explain that being referred to as less than “alright” really does not feel ok, for you, much less for your son!
Oh, and thank you for sharing your experience, it has helped me understand, and I’ll be a lot less likely to do the same thing as this Locum.
barakta
April 4, 2012
I get that about my ‘syndrome’ which includes being deaf and other random impairments quite a lot. I find sometimes doctors overreact or try and treat something I’m not there for. And I do sometimes have to say “I’m not here about my syndrome, I’m here about whatever illness I have”. I find the appropriateness of language used varies, I get comparisons to “normal” which is a bit icky.
I am probably a bit scary for doctors because I don’t want them to panic about me being disabled and overtreat me, but I also don’t want them to ignore me when I identify areas that I do need treating in ways which someone without my impairments might not. It’s a fine line and involves them treating me like an intelligent adult while accepting that they need to make a decision and not treat me like I’m stupid OR leave it all to me…
Probably a good reason why I find emergency GP appointments stressful and much prefer it when I can see my preferred GP who won’t do annoying things.
R
April 4, 2012
I would complain to the surgery in a polite way and some one higher than the surgery I.e medical board – to make them realised that ALL of the doctors need Deaf awareness (not just which tech that is ‘useful’) during their studies. Think it’ll save hassles, embarrassments……..
Sasha
April 19, 2012
Doctors definately need deaf awareness..
Recently I been to see my ENT consultant re my ears. The entire session he was talking to my sister and not me. He could see that I have no communication difficulties as was chatting to my sister! I thought doctors are supposed to be intelligent
Shaneybo
April 27, 2012
Imagine that – my fella is a hospital doctor. For him and his many classmates, I am the first deafie they have encountered and dealt with. They have wonderful attitudes etc but I do not know if they would be the same with other deaf people (who are not my friends i.e. the general public). All of them got medical school for 5 years at an university here in Dublin – they got to learn about deafness…for an hour or two….in the total of five years???