When I woke up on 2nd May 2008, the room was spinning, I couldn’t stand up without falling over and I couldn’t hear anything in my left ear.
My GP diagnosed labyrinthitis, a viral infection of the inner ear. He was confident my hearing loss was temporary, and that once the virus cleared up my hearing would return to normal.
The dizziness and vertigo subsided after about six weeks, but there was no improvement in my hearing.
I had never realised before how important both our ears are. Not being able to hear anything on my left side meant I couldn’t tell which direction sound was coming from. It was confusing and disorientating. I would ignore my phone at work, thinking it was a colleague’s that was ringing, and I had a few close shaves when I stepped into the road thinking a car was coming from the left, when it was coming towards me on the right.
Worse than that, though, was the noise. I had always thought, were I to go deaf, that it would be quiet, but the inside of my head is really noisy! As well as having tinnitus now, I could hear fluid moving round my ear, like water glugging down a plughole, every time I tilted my head or did some exercise. Odd as it sounds, the thing I miss most since losing my hearing is silence.
To begin with, I avoided socialising, especially in noisy places such as pubs or restaurants, or with groups of people. At times I cried with frustration when I couldn’t follow a conversation or hear someone talking to me. I was aware that people were speaking, but the sound was so muffled and distorted I couldn’t make out individual words.
But I’m not one to withdraw or feel sorry for myself for long. Unconsciously, I started to compensate. If I was out for a meal with a group of friends, or in a meeting at work, I would sit at the end of the table with everyone on my right-hand side. At the station I would stand underneath the loudspeaker so I could hear the announcements better. I joined the local hard of hearing group, and I got referred to a specialist.
The consultant said the labyrinthitis had damaged my auditory nerve, and while my moderate hearing loss was unlikely to get worse, it wasn’t going to get any better. I was fitted with a hearing aid in my left ear.
It took a bit of getting used to. Having not been able to hear anything in that ear for nine months, suddenly everything seemed really loud. There is constant white noise, like a radio that’s not quite tuned properly, but it’s amazing how your brain adjusts and filters it out.
I still struggle a bit in noisy places or if lots of people are talking at once, and the inside of my head still sounds like an emptying bath.
But in all, my hearing loss has been a positive experience. It’s a bit of an inconvenience, but it’s not life-threatening, I can still do my job and, most of the time, I manage pretty well.
Best of all, I have made new friends and met lots of inspiring people because of it.
Catherine Small has been a journalist for 25 years and currently works as chief sub-editor on Psychologies Magazine. She is deaf in one ear and sits in the corner so she can hear everyone. Her husband acts as her hearing dog, alerting her to sounds such as the doorbell and the telephone. Follow her on Twitter as @cath_small
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Rachel
April 27, 2012
When my mother woke from a routine ear operation to find her hearing gone she too experienced the difficulties you faced Catherine. As her 13 year old daughter i found it difficult to cope with too, speaking to her was time consuming as she was unable to recognise what i was saying. No longer could you call out from the kitchen “who wants a cup of tea?” Our whole family had to learn how to help her, thus helping us in return. The one thing I remember my mother saying at the time was “the noise is driving me mad” she too had white noise and gurgling sounds rushing around her head and would cry with frustration. The good news is that there are some wonderful groups out there in your borough who are willing and able to help you cope. Bexley Deaf Centre was a much visited venue for us, i thank their staff for helping us all.
Well done for turning your experience into a positive one. We did too! 🙂
CJ
April 27, 2012
Hello
I think in todays world you are pretty lucky 🙂 I myself had Labrynthitis and ended up having Labrynthectomy, I think you all know what Labrynthectomy, yes all hearing gone. But today they pop you pills if they think or know its Labrynthitis. But still not nice to have it whatever way you look at it, As a lot of things in todays world has changed from when I had ops, Take Mastiodectomy Ive had few of those, but today they give you Anti biotics, and all is saved.
Ive often wondered if my hearing might of been saved had those treaments come earlier for me..But we all Soldier on dont we 🙂
CJ
April 27, 2012
And sadly my Balance still isnt good Since Labrynthitis, I havent driven for over a year now as it has worsened 🙁
Richard
April 27, 2012
There are various forms of labyrinthitis: the commonest symptoms are spinning eyesight, vertigo, vomiting and then a return to normal life. Patience is needed. I was fortunate in that when I had an attack I was in a place where another deaf person was also working, and with the help of that person holding on to me all the way, I managed to stagger through the streets to the nearest railway station for the journey back home and recovery. Otherwise In most cases my wife was with me. The attacks lasted two years, usually in the autumn, winter and early spring, never in the summer, and usually lasted three-four hours each time.
Jennifer
May 1, 2012
I can really relate to what you are going through as I went through the same experience when I was 18. I was reading a magazine in my room when all of a sudden my hearing went and I felt terrible. My mother suggested I go out and get some fresh air but I was so unsteady I had to hold on to a wall, everything was spinning. It was really frightening experience. My hearing did come back slowly but never as good as it was previously and over the years I had more attacks, leaving my hearing worse than ever. After struggling at work, uni, in meetings etc, I decided enough was enough and opted for a CI……. I have never looked back, gone is the tinnitus, muffled sounds and dizziness! 🙂
Emily Haworth
June 4, 2012
I am currently suffering with Labrynthitis and it is awful. Im only on day 4 and I cant bare it already dreading having to call in sick to work, I can’t even lift my head from the pillow without the whole room spinning. I can barely make it to the toilet and back without feeling sick and feeling like im going to fall over. What id CI? Help, advice greatly needed!
Mia
June 20, 2015
May 6 th 2015 I went to the cinema and my right ear started to buzz a little and I couldn’t hear properly I kept making myself yawn as I thought it would help clear the ear, by the time I went home I couldn’t hear a thing in my right eat, went to bed, woke up and the room was spinning and I felt sick , I held onto the walls as I tried to get to the bathroom, I felt like I was so drunk and the room was spinning out of control, I got to the bathroom and was sick and kept on being sick, I tried to sit on the toilet but kept losing my balance, it was awful, I phoned the emergency number at my medical centre and the doctor got back to me very quickly, she said I needed to get anti sickness pills ASAP and did I have someone who could collect for me. I laid in bed for 3 days, everything I ate would not stay down, I lost 10lbs in weight, I finally gt up,on the fourth day and sat in the lounge , my balance was dreadful. I’m deaf in my right ear and I had a steroid injection in the ear on the 12 th June, which was painless but filling the inner ear with steroids made the room spin and I had to have a bowl as I felt so sick as the steroid went down the back of my throat.
It’s now the 20 th of June and everyday is different some days are really good, but some days are awful.
I’m struggling with my balance , I’m a keen freestyle stepper and it has made it so difficult for me, I still do it as I’m not giving up, but I’m not as good as I used to be and I’m scared I will fall over.
It’s the most debilitating illness I have ever had and yes it’s absolutely awful.
Next step is a MRI scan to rule out anything sinister, which it don’t think there is anything sinister.
To be told I was just unlucky and it is airbourne freaks me out, I now know why people walk round with mask on …
The constant noise in my ear is frustrating and sometimes I hear wind chimes, water going down a plug hole , it’s constant….
I had a severe attack of it and feel for anyone who has had this
Catherine Small
August 27, 2015
Hang in there, Mia! It’s a long haul and progress is slow (I basically lay on the sofa for six weeks), but I’m sure you will start to feel better soon.