The Secret Deafie is a series of anonymous columns written by different writers. Today’s Deafie is ready to confess… but before he does we would like to make it clear that this website in no way condones his actions.
I have a crime that I must confess to.
For me, travelling without paying my train fare has become one of life’s habits.
I have grown too old for hiding in a toilet for an hour or two, and now, my standards have improved. However I have been known to hide under the seats if the toilet’s engaged. (Not something I would recommend for comfort though!!)
I decided to attempt to avoid the fare by saying “I’m Deaf” when the inspector came to ask for the ticket.
My first attempt worked amazingly, he just panicked and gave me a thumbs up…I thought of all the hours spent in a toilet cubicle when I could have been traveling in comfort and still not paying.
I must say that I had to give myself a high five for this trick. After a while, I came up with a different mode of operation because my luck it seemed had come to an end.
One day, the inspector shook his head and demanded a ticket. I tried the line three times and gave up and paid in full. I hoped it was a one off but unfortunately it kept happening. .
So I decided that I would speak like my teachers had always wanted me to (well they told me my speech was excellent) and so I told him where I wanted to go and how I was going to get there and what sort of ticket I wanted.
But of course he couldn’t understand a word of my ‘alien’ speech and walked away confused and a little panicked.
So my teachers were right, my speech is excellent.
Excellent for getting free travel on the rail network anyway.
Do you have a story or experience you’d like to share? If you’d like to write a Secret Deafie column, just email email@example.com
The Limping Chicken is the world's most popular Deaf blog, and is edited by Deaf journalist and filmmaker Charlie Swinbourne. Find out how to write for us by clicking here, how to follow us by clicking here, and read our disclaimer here.
The site exists thanks to our supporters. Check them out below:
- Eyewitness Media: TV and film from a Deaf perspective
- Ai-Media: Remote captioning. Find out about 5 funny ways to use captions!
- Bellman & Symfon: home alerting solutions
- Deaf Umbrella: sign language interpreting and communications support
- Appa: Communication services for Deaf, Deafblind and hard of hearing people
- SignLive: Online video interpreting for Deaf people
- SignVideo: Instant BSL video interpreting online
- 121 Captions: captioning and speech-to-text services
- Signature: Leading awarding body for BSL qualifications
- The National Theatre: Captioned and BSL accessible theatre in London
- Doncaster School for the Deaf: education for Deaf children
- Signworld: Learn BSL online!
- Action Deafness Communications: sign language and Red Dot online video interpreting
- BSLcourses.co.uk: Provider of online BSL courses
- Association of Notetaking Professionals: The professional body representing Electronic and Manual Notetakers
- Sign Solutions: communication support, training and translation
- InterpretersLive: On demand BSL video interpretation
- Hamilton Lodge School in Brighton: education for Deaf children
- Lipspeaker UK: specialist lipspeaking support
- Ozen: Australian hearing aid specialists
- Elmfield School, Bristol: Inclusive education for Deaf pupils
- deafPLUS: BSL advice helpline
- Exeter Deaf Academy: education for Deaf children
- Royal Shakespeare Company: Captioned and BSL interpreted performances (see dates here)
- Royal School for the Deaf, Derby: Residential education for deaf children
- RAD Tax Advice: Tax and Tax Credit info for Deaf people
- Performance Interpreting: BSL interpreting at concerts
- National Deaf Children's Society: The leading charity for deaf children
- Signed Culture: Advocating for BSL access to arts and culture
- SignHealth: healthcare charity for Deaf people
- CJ Interpreting: communication support in BSL
- British Society for Mental Health and Deafness: Promoting positive mental health for deaf people