Callum Fox: We Are The Borg. You Will Be Assimilated.

Posted on May 28, 2013


Picture 2Sometimes you’ve just got to laugh. When I came across a post on Facebook showing a pretty gruesome picture extolling the evils of cochlear implants, I was appalled at the sentiments expressed in the comments beneath it. But sometimes, life likes to remind you that there’s always a bright side to such things.

“Wow! It reminds me of the TV series Star Trek: Next Generation: Best of Worlds. Captain Picard became part of The Borg against his will.”

Obviously, this being Facebook, I’ve altered that comment to make it look halfway legible. But that’s not the point. A lady kindly compared people with cochlear implants to The Borg.

If you don’t know who The Borg are, they’re a recurring enemy for Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the Enterprise in Star Trek: The Next Generation. Think of them as Star Trek’s version of the Cybermen from Doctor Who.

But I disgress, a lady compared us CI users to The Borg. Now, I’m sure you’re expecting outrage at the lady for comparing us to soulless, evil cyborgs from outer space bent on adding more soulless, evil cyborgs to their soulless, evil floating empire.

But actually, I found it hilarious. Quite frankly, the idea of CI users walking down the streets assimilating poor deaf people into their soulless, evil floating empire is just comical.

And it’s quite telling how cochlear implants, in some quarters, are built up to this image of a terrifying procedure devised by doctors hellbent on destroying deaf culture as it exists today.

So we’re just soulless, evil cyborgs brainwashed by our Audiologist Masters looking for poor unsuspecting deaf victims to drag back to our Hive hospitals to undergo the procedure and create even more soulless, evil cyborgs.

Obviously it’s stage one of The Borg’s master plan to destroy deaf culture. We’re hellbent on assimilating deaf culture into the The Borg. Then we take on the blind.

But we are rational people aren’t we? People commenting on a picture of a painting on Facebook aren’t all going to be intelligent people capable of rational thought. It is Facebook after all.

I know that the vast majority of deaf people have come to accept cochlear implants as just another way of being. Just another part of deaf culture.

So when posts like Winship Creations’ painting crops up, people can be appalled. Just like in issues of racism, homophobia, discrimination and all the other illnesses of society which shouldn’t exist today.

But then you remember, these people are a minority and they shout the loudest. The best counter to all of that is to laugh at them and ignore their delusions.

Just think of that poor lady and her belief that cochlear implants are members of The Borg and laugh. Because it’s all true.

WE ARE THE BORG. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

*Disclaimer: that last bit, and other selected bits of this article, were tongue-in-cheek*

Callum Fox is walking the divide between the hearing and deaf worlds. Profoundly deaf since birth and CI user. In his spare time he balances being 22 years old, being a football fanatic and trying to make it as a writer, journalist and human being. Follow him on Twitter as@WalkTheDivide

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