The Secret Deafie: How I used the Deaf Card to outsmart an angry man

I watched as he came around the corner. He was angry. Very angry.

I ignored him and carried on with my work. He marched right up to me. He knows me well enough (unfortunately) to stand where I can lip-read him before he starts talking.

“You!” he said, angrily. It crossed my mind that he might have a heart attack, he always seems so stresed.

“You! Somebody phoned the RSPCA on me, was it you? They’ve been and taken all my pitbull dogs away! Just because they are ‘skinny’. They need to be on the skinny side to fight! Not that I let them fight, but my friends borrow them. Anyway, you phoned them didn’t you?”

I looked at his angry, red face.

“I’m deaf, you idiot. I can’t phone anyone.”

He looked embarassed. “Oh, of course. Yeah, sorry. I’m not an idiot, though. Let me know if you hear anything… See anything. You know what I mean. I’m off.

As he disappeared back around the corner I smiled and mouthed silently after him: “I can’t phone, but I can email, you idiot.”

I think that’s a Deaf Card well played!