It is hard to explain to others what it is like to have hearing loss — the lack of clarity in speech, the sensitivity to loud noise, and the exhaustion that comes with heavy bursts of communication.
It is an invisible disability so it is often misunderstood, downplayed or even ignored — sometimes even by those closest to you. But it can have a huge impact on your life, and the lives of those who love you.
Here are the five things I wish everyone understood about hearing loss. Please add your thoughts in the comments.
1. Hearing loss is exhausting. When you have hearing loss, hearing takes work. This is hard for those with normal hearing to understand since hearing is so automatic for them.
The best way I know to explain it is as a game board from Wheel of Fortune. Some of the letters are filled in, others are blank.
The contestant (or listener in this case) is trying to make sense of the assorted and incomplete sounds he or she is hearing and turn these sounds into a word or phrase that makes sense in the context of the conversation.
Not easy, especially since the conversation does not pause while you are doing this extra processing. Read more about this here.
2. I am not stupid or rude. I might answer questions inappropriately or miss the point of a conversation now and then, but I am not stupid. I just misheard what you said.
And if I don’t respond to your greeting or an “excuse me” at the store, it is not because I am ignoring you. I just didn’t hear it.
3. Hearing aids don’t work like glasses. Glasses transform blurry images into something crisp and clear restoring your vision to normal.
With hearing aids, this is not the case. Hearing aids amplify sounds, but this only makes them louder, not necessarily crisper or clearer.
Hearing aids also have a tough time differentiating among sounds so that background noises like the hum of the refrigerator or the air conditioner are amplified in addition to the more important sounds of conversation.
This can actually make it harder to hear in certain situations!
4. I do not need you to speak for me. I am neither a child nor an invalid. If someone asks me a question and I don’t hear it, please repeat it so I can answer for myself. Doing otherwise is insulting and demeaning.
5. A few simple tricks can help a lot. Face me when you speak to me and keep your lips visible. Don’t try to talk to me from another room and be sure to get my attention first before speaking. I want to hear you and am trying my best. Following these rules will let me know that you are too.
Readers, what do you wish people knew about hearing loss?
Shari Eberts is a hearing health advocate and avid Bikram yogi. She blogs at LivingWithHearingLoss.com
Jen
June 3, 2016
I have suffered with hearing loss my entire life. Officially diagnosed at 6 and I am 43.
Doctor gave me a hearing aid that I don’t wear anymore. .. hearing is too hard with the air sounds I get. I never realized that there were other people like me! Thank you for this.
Living With Hearing Loss
June 6, 2016
There are so many of us! Thanks for reading.
Cathy
June 3, 2016
Agree with every word!! But there is one you missed out: tinnitus!
This creates noises in the ear and makes hearing a hundred times harder!!! There is no cure and there is nothing that can be done to alleviate it, even though some people use white noise (sea lapping against rocks) to counteract the problem. This is totally useless for profoundly deaf people!
Living With Hearing Loss
June 6, 2016
Yes, tinnitus is very tough. I have that too, but luckily it is only mild so far.
Irene Thomson
June 19, 2016
My tinnitus is quite loud, but luckily I can usually “switch off at work and concentrate on what I’m doing. It’s at its worst at night.
Irene Thomson
June 19, 2016
I totally understand you. I have had tinnitus since my teens and I’m now 53, so I’ve had plenty of time to try to “get used to it” (you never do). I also have mild to moderate hearing loss, for which I use 2 hearing aids ( I had to fight to get them on the NHS). I find that the tinnitus does affect my ability to hear speech, especially if the person to whom I speak is either mumbling or is walking away from me ( in my workplace, I have a team leader who does both). Very frustrating!!
David Simmons
June 3, 2016
This is a really good post on the website. You have summed up everything that those of us who suffer from hearing loss have to put up with. I hope you don’t mind, but I would like to make a copy of your points, print them off & then laminate them, so I can show them to people.
People seem to think that because I wear hearing aids, it makes me hear conversations more clearly.
Going to a pub, restaurant or social function is really difficult for those of us who wear hearing aids. Your post sums up our problems brilliantly.
Many thanks for your blog.
Living With Hearing Loss
June 6, 2016
Thanks so much for reading! Happy to have you share the points. I hope it helps you to explain hearing loss a little bit better to others.
Living With Hearing Loss
June 3, 2016
There are so many of us! Thanks for reading.
Deafnotdaft
June 7, 2016
Hi Shari. Thanks for the super post.
I like the “Wheel of Fortune” analogy. Some years ago I listened to a deaf awareness talk by George Martin, the Beatles producer. He said that, for a deaf person, deciphering speech is like doing a crossword clue where you know the vowels but not the consonants. Like you, he made the point that figuring out what’s actually being said is a truly exhausting process, especially because you have to listen to what’s being said next in parallel with trying to work out what the heck was said before.
Living With Hearing Loss
June 7, 2016
That is a great analogy too. Thanks for sharing it!
Sensorineural Blues
June 8, 2016
The “exhausting” angle is very important. Research shows that listening can be so demanding for deaf people that cognitive issues can be caused (perhaps dementia), especially in older people. That’s why it’s essential for deaf people to use hearing aids and to make sure they’re properly maintained and upgraded as needed. Less brain power will be needed to understand speech if hearing aids are used. Therefore there’s less risk of cognitive issues.
Living With Hearing Loss
June 15, 2016
I agree. It is so important to use hearing aids to keep the brain in practice of “hearing.”
Anne Horst Ahrens
June 12, 2016
Agree with every word. Love your analogies! Hearing loss is stressful! I would add, that we are aware and understand, how it is also trying for those who are communicating with us. I am neglectful to tell people I wear hearing aids. Personally, I wish hearing aids weren’t so “discreet”. I would love to design some ornate, bling bling, larger than a Cartier ear cuff hearing aid that would tell the world, Hey!, I don’t hear so well…
Living With Hearing Loss
June 15, 2016
Good point. It is important to disclose your hearing loss because it is “invisible” to most people otherwise. Thanks for your comment.
Carla
June 14, 2016
Thank you! I’m 35 and have had a hearing loss in both ears most my life, it has got a lot worse over the last 10 years. People can get frustrated and ask why I don’t just wear my hearing aids, it’s hard to explain how they don’t help much especially in places with lots of background noise. I struggle to explain what it’s like and this does that brilliantly! I’ve shared your post to explain it better to my friends. Thanks again 😊
Living With Hearing Loss
June 15, 2016
Thanks so much for reading! I am glad you found it helpful.
monkey
June 23, 2016
I am happy to say I have found this post; with two boys(aged 3 and 5) its hard for us as parents to understand what frustrations and challenges they face at this point. I try my best to explain to others how their aids work and that it is not as simple as many may think. I will use your Wheel of Fortune analogy most definitely, thank you!
Living With Hearing Loss
June 23, 2016
So glad it helped! Thanks for reading.