At weekends, we post some of our most popular blogs.
We’ve all had them. Those annoying questions that well-meaning people seem to ask you again and again. And again.
Although their query might be perfectly innocent, they’re usually followed by an awkward pause as you work out how to respond, and explain.
But now, thanks to Limping Chicken, you can go out armed. Not with bullets, or a baseball bat – we don’t condone that at all – but with these ten verbal comebacks, designed to help you make your point in a nanosecond, before moving swiftly on to more interesting topics.
They’ve been tested, revised, and rewritten. They really work. But a word of warning. They should be used with extreme care.
It’s great to have someone like you here.
Hey! It’s even better to be greeted by someone like you! You’re special!
Is lipreading an exact science?
(straight face required) I’m not sure lapdancing is any kind of science at all. Why?
Can you tell him that we appreciate him coming here?
Can you tell her that I’m her client, not my interpreter. Speak to me.
You speak really well for a deaf person!
Thanks! You speak fairly well for a hearing person.
You were born deaf? What’s that like?
I’ll tell you, but first, you tell me what’s it like to be born hearing?
I don’t like subtitles. Mind if I turn them off?
No worries. I don’t like sound! So let’s press the mute button too, right?
You’re very brave.
Sorry, you must be confusing me for my uncle who’s beaten cancer twice. You know him?
Is sign language the same all over the world?
Yes! Just like all spoken languages are the same in every country… aren’t they?
You can drive? Is that legal?
We need a licence to drive?
My auntie used to have a deaf dog!
My auntie used to have a hearing dog. That’s how I know everything about hearing people! You bark, right?
Charlie Swinbourne is the editor of Limping Chicken, as well as being a journalist and award-winning scriptwriter. He writes for the Guardian and BBC Online, and as a scriptwriter, penned My Song, Coming Out and Four Deaf Yorkshiremen.
The Limping Chicken is the world's most popular Deaf blog, and is edited by Deaf journalist and filmmaker Charlie Swinbourne.
The site exists thanks to our supporters. Check them out below:
- Signature: Leading awarding body for BSL qualifications
- Ai-Media: Remote captioning. Find out 7 things deaf people want you to know!
- Bellman & Symfon: home alerting solutions
- Deaf Umbrella: sign language interpreting and communications support
- BSL Zone: TV programmes in BSL for the Deaf community
- Eyewitness Media: TV and film from a Deaf perspective
- Appa: Communication services for Deaf, Deafblind and hard of hearing people
- SignLive: Online video interpreting for Deaf people
- SignVideo: Instant BSL video interpreting online
- 121 Captions: captioning and speech-to-text services
- The National Theatre: Captioned and BSL accessible theatre in London
- Doncaster School for the Deaf: education for Deaf children
- Signworld: Learn BSL online!
- Action Deafness Communications: sign language and Red Dot online video interpreting
- BSLcourses.co.uk: Provider of online BSL courses
- Association of Notetaking Professionals: The professional body representing Electronic and Manual Notetakers
- Sign Solutions: communication support, training and translation
- InterpretersLive: On demand BSL video interpretation
- Hamilton Lodge School in Brighton: education for Deaf children
- Lipspeaker UK: specialist lipspeaking support
- Hearing Choices: Australian hearing aid specialists
- Elmfield School, Bristol: Inclusive education for Deaf pupils
- deafPLUS: BSL advice helpline
- Exeter Deaf Academy: education for Deaf children
- Royal Shakespeare Company: Captioned and BSL interpreted performances (see dates here)
- Royal School for the Deaf, Derby: Residential education for deaf children
- RAD Tax Advice: Tax and Tax Credit info for Deaf people
- Performance Interpreting: BSL interpreting at concerts
- National Deaf Children's Society: The leading charity for deaf children
- Signed Culture: Advocating for BSL access to arts and culture
- SignHealth: healthcare charity for Deaf people
- CJ Interpreting: communication support in BSL
- British Society for Mental Health and Deafness: Promoting positive mental health for deaf people