High school can be a nightmare. A lot of people get bullied for who they are and for being a little different.
I went through hell and back in school, putting up with people bullying me, teasing me, thinking it’s funny and clever to say “What! What!” to me all the time.
Because I have speech problems and can’t pronounce a few words properly sometimes, they’d take the mickey and say things like “Dats so dute” (that’s so cute).
In my view, bullies bully other people because they like to look good in front of their friends, and take troubles in their own life out on their victims. Or maybe, sometimes, it’s because they just get a kick out of it.
There were some nice people in my school who would come up to me, curious to know how a hearing aid works, and I would help them understand my hearing problems.
Many of them loved to learn sign language, I only knew a few signs at the time but I was more than happy to teach them what I knew because it made me feel good that they wanted to learn more about the deaf world.
What I don’t understand is why we have French or Spanish classes in school, when we’re not having sign language or deaf awareness classes.
I don’t think it’s right that people have to pay for sign language classes outside of school, and maybe this is why more deaf and hard of hearing people are getting bullied, because not many people know anything about the deaf world, or what we’re going through.
I genuinely believe that if we had sign language or deaf awareness classes in school, people would have a different outlook on life, and learn how to communicate with us.
Those who have a lack of knowledge about the deaf world sometimes approach us and then talk really slowly, stretching their mouth, making it more difficult to lipread, either that or they will shout – messing with their lip patterns which again, makes it more difficult to lipread. We’re deaf, not stupid so I just wish they could talk normally or a little bit slower.
At school, I was forever wishing I was like the popular girls in my year, trying my best to fit in when really, I was born to stand out. It took me 21 years to finally accept who I am.
Since I’ve created my deaf group on Facebook, I have had many deaf children and teenagers message me, asking me for help because they were getting bullied for being deaf.
It was upsetting to read how sad they are, wishing that the bullies would stop. I try and help them get through it and give them plenty of advice. Thankfully, they have listened to me and they’ve sometimes managed to stop the bullying.
My advice to those who are being bullied:
– Don’t stoop to their level and always seek for help from an adult. No matter how tempting it is to fight back, it’s not the answer. It will just make things worse and give the bully more excuses for bullying you.
– Try and not let the teasing get to you. I’m a very sensitive person and always let the teasing get to me in school. Bullies love seeing their victims getting upset and wounded up, so they’d carry on. If they are teasing you, ignore them and if they won’t leave you alone, go and seek help from an adult.
– You should never keep your feelings inside because it will get build up and up, and it’s not nice being on your ow,n bottling your feelings inside. Go and speak to your mum and dad about it, or your close friend or any adult in school. Even if people say “oh just ignore them, they will get bored soon enough” no matter what, ALWAYS keep telling them. If they still don’t listen, seek help from another adult.
– Practice what to say the next time you’re bullied with your parents, teachers or friends. You need to be COOL, act CALM and never let the bullies see you SAD or MAD. Ignore the bully and WALK away. Remember fighting back is never the answer. It will make the bullying worse.
If you need someone to speak to, you are more than welcome to send me a message on my Facebook or Twitter or my email if you haven’t got either of those two social network sites.
Remember, you are not alone. No matter how many times you will say it to yourself that you are alone, trust me. You. Are. Not. Alone. If you need someone to speak to, find someone you can trust.
This is my favourite quote, one that I think everybody should remember.
“Children with disabilities are like butterflies with a broken wing. They are just as beautiful as all others, but they need help to spread their wings”
Hayley describes herself as a “22 year old girl from Liverpool who likes listening to music and works her arse off to live life to its fullest.” You can join her Facebook group by clicking here and you can follow her on Twitter as @HaleySadler
The Limping Chicken is supported by Deaf media company Remark!, training and consultancy Deafworks, and provider of sign language services Deaf Umbrella.
Liz
May 1, 2012
I so agree that sign language should be taught in schools. There is no excuse not to. How many times are we to meet a deaf or hoh person in our own counmtry than France or Germany. We live here in the UK and France etc is only going to come into it when you on holiday which you will only be there a week or two, compared to rest of the year in the UK.
Steve
May 1, 2012
I was bullied every single day in high school. it was horrible. This mistake i made was not talking to my parents or teachers about it. i was embarrassed that i wasn’t “man” enough to stand up to the iddiots. if i could go back and talk to the younger me i’d tell him to get help. You are too young to deal with this on your own. Bullies can’t be negated with – they have their own mental issues and need help themselves. Eventually he was kicked out of the school and my life returned to normal – although i was scared from it. Seek help – don’t let the situation harm you.
Anonymous
May 1, 2012
I agree with the majority of this article, being hard of hearing myself i’ve experienced bullying at school. However, I disagree about saying not to fight back. The reality is, this works a hell of a lot better than talking to teachers. I woke up one morning, thought ‘F*** it’ and fought back. Sure it might not have been the most morally right thing to do, but I don’t regret it one bit. Give them something to fear and never let anyone walk all over you.
whosaidthat1
May 1, 2012
Sadly I was Bullied but hit back by becoming a bully to bullies and then bullying others, No I know its not nice, but that was my way of standing on my own 2 feet, not right way really, And I feel for those who are or were bullied, its a cruel world…
Steve
May 1, 2012
fighting back only works if you can actually win the fight. if not you may end up looking more of a fool. “fighting back” can take many forms and using your brains is one of them. there is noting wrong with asking someone for help. Pride can often be a downfall.
CAROL SADLER
May 1, 2012
Well done Haley x You have made us very proud. Never let anybody get you down, anyone who makes you feel sad, is not worth being around. Love you very much xx Mum and Dad xx
Ron Stewart
May 15, 2012
I would like to congratulate the parents of Haley. You have raised a little lady with a good attitude that is smart. My hats off to you both.. 🙂
Margaret Bradshaw
May 3, 2012
I totally agree that deaf awareness and the basics of sign language should be taught in schools. Just teaching an introduction to sign language would inspire many youngsters to want to learn more. I am a hearing person who has profoundly deaf friends. I went to adult education college to learn BSL, which was expensive, and passed my Level 1 exam. The cost of going on to Level 2 is totally prohibitive for me and when I tried to join a Preparing for Level 2 Conversation course, it was cancelled the week before it was due to start! Sign language is so beautiful, everyone should be introduced to it and it’s so much easier to learn a new language when you’re younger. Don’t cut classes – get it on the school curriculum.
MargaretB
Mikey Starsky
May 7, 2012
I was builled for 14years +. I had learning difficulties. Teachers where a total let down and in my eyes, have betrayed this country and the childrens parents to protect kids from bullying. I didnt just get verbal abuse, i was punched and kicked. I had no one to turn too. My mum tried her best, but the teachers ignored her. We need both deaf and blind lessons, even basic lessons for most outside things like building, electronics etc. Things that will help people live and get a good job in life. Sadly we live in a awful country where we are bound to suffer. Its good too see some improvement though