Photo credit: Trey Ratcliff – stuckincustoms.com
I had to laugh out loud the other day.
We were all at the table having dinner a friend had joined us and there were lots of talking at laughing going on. Couldn’t quite follow what they were talking about as they were all interrupting each other, so I just ate my food and from time to time handed one the buttered bread (we are in Wales Y’know)and another the salt or ketchup. That’s until I noticed our friend looking a bit mystified. And then I laughed as I realized he couldn’t understand how I would know, he or the others wanting something without them asking.
Almost 30 years ago my stepfathers friend was turning 60 and decided to celebrate by throwing his nagging wife and daughter out and buy himself a Thai bride (as you do).
I was living and working in Madrid at the time and very rarely came back to Denmark, but a couple of years after this, I had a business meeting in Copenhagen and my stepfathers friend immediately offered I could stay with him and his new wife.
I arrived late at night and didn’t get to meet his wife (can’t remember her name) until breakfast the next morning. It was a splendid breakfast table with, eggs, rolls, salami, cheese, pastries and much more. Immediately as my then boyfriend and I sat down coffee was placed in front of us and throughout the whole meal we only have to vaguely think of what we wanted and it was there in front of us. Neither of us could work out how she knew in advance what we wanted, that’s until the other day when my friend looked so mystified.
I realized my acquired deafness had forced me to learn mindfulness, a key skill in Buddhist teaching – the faith of most Thai people. This entails being completely in the present and giving what you are doing your full attention. Of course at the dinner table I was playing the role of mother, wife and hostess and because I wouldn’t have heard it if anyone had asked me for the salt. over time I had simply learnt to make the observations necessary to ‘predict’ what they wanted.
Thanks for reading and I hope you will leave a comment. :)’
Maggi describes herself as a “self-made billionaire. No, that was just to grab your attention – If I had been more organized I probably would be a millionaire, alas, I spend two thirds of my life looking for something I’ve just put down…. somewhere. When I am productive I write…lots, I volunteer with Hearing Link, look after my children and walk the dog.“ You can follow her on Twitter as @maggisummerhill, check out her blog for Hearing Link and check out her online ‘writing for confidence’ course at maggisummerhill.com.
The Limping Chicken is supported by Deaf media company Remark!, provider of sign language services Deaf Umbrella, training and consultancy Deafworks, the National Deaf Children’s Society’s Look, Smile Chat campaign, and the National Theatre’s captioned plays.
deaflinguist
August 2, 2012
That’s really interesting! How much were your observations based on body language and facial expression?
maggisummerhill
August 5, 2012
In the case of our guest I would say all. With my children and husband predictions would be partly based on my knowledge of their habits. The Thai lady must have done it purely by ‘reading’ us as she had never met me or my then boyfriend before. A bit like Darren Brown 🙂
Chris
August 15, 2012
Oh this has struck a chord with me – being in the moment and being deaf really helps because at that point that you ‘tune out’ and stop trying to lip read/guess/blag what everyone is saying you can become focussed on what is going on without all the ‘chatter’. So often I will notice things hearies are completely unaware of, of course the flip side is I don’t hear the throwaway comments that sometimes reveal much. I had a blind friend who observed things differently but we often picked up on the same feelings, through using just one sense ‘really well’ because one other sense is not so reliable, in my case hearing in hers; sight, gives a focus that is unique – deafinitely an advantage!