The hearing world is a cruel one. Fact.
As a solicitor specialising in disability discrimination law, not a day goes by where I don’t hear first hand experiences from Deaf individuals about the barriers they’ve faced, the treatment they’ve suffered and the hurt they feel through all walks of life. It’s my job to explain to them their rights under the Equality Act 2010 and how to enforce them.
What is unusual for a solicitor is that I have an instant empathy with my clients because I’m Deaf myself and I’ve personally experienced many a barrier as has been well documented on this blog.
This article very nicely sums up what’s it like for Deaf people in a hearing world: A Sign of the Times: They can be a silent minority, but it’s high time that the millions of people with hearing loss came in from the cold.
Only this morning, Rachel witnessed first hand the isolation Deaf children face even now in the 21st century. Rachel was at the doctor’s and saw a little boy with hearing aids in the waiting room. He was with who appeared to be a grandmother. She was shouting at him. Not because he was being naughty, but because she obviously thought that by shouting, he’d be able to hear what she was saying. The boy looked lost. He didn’t engage with the grandmother or the group of older women she was with, all taking to him in pretty much the same fashion. He was just sitting there staring into space.
Rachel tried to get the little boy’s attention to give him a few encouraging looks, and when he eventually looked at her, she signed “are you deaf? Me too!”. He perked up, but then the grandmother intervened and said, “he doesn’t sign”. Rachel then got called in for her appointment.
I don’t mind admitting that I’m a little shook. I know Rachel was. She can’t get it out of her head that there are ignorant people who are going to think that the little boy is dull as opposed to being unable to follow, when it is actually the grandmother and other people around him that are disabling him.
It is difficult. We know that all that boy needs is a good Deaf role model and some understanding and he’ll do just fine. However, Rachel was helpless in that situation. Should she have done more? Could she?
It’s a cruel hearing world, and it looks like it’s not going to change any time soon.
Rob is a qualified solicitor and Head of RAD Deaf Law Centre at the Royal Association for Deaf people. He specialises in employment and discrimination law and is passionate about achieving equality for Deaf people. He is happily married with two gorgeous kids and lives in South Wales. You can follow him on Twitter as @RWilks
If you are interested in any of RAD Deaf Law Centre’s services, go to http://www.deaflawcentre.org.uk/contact-us/ or email referrals@royaldeaf.org.uk.
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Andy
October 26, 2012
Wait a minute though… in this respect we are no different to hearing people. It will come as a surprise to many but hearing people make thoughtless, cutting and spiteful remarks to each other all the time. Especially in a tough environment like a factory floor where there are often a lot of fiery exchanges. And this is my point. They are exchanges of rude remarks by both parties and it happens all the time.
What is different in the case of the deaf person is that we are not equipped to deal with it and that is very important. Deaf people as a rule don’t learn to engage in verbal repartee for what I hope are obvious reasons.
Hearing people squabble and quarrel all the time. Most importantly they learn how to deal with quarrels by >listening to other people<. This is something we don't get, so we never really learn to take care of ourselves verbally. Hearing people will take advantage of this every time, especially if they are of an aggressive disposition.
I have been a Deaf person living in a hearing world for more years than many have been alive and I still find this a big problem. Hearing people are often aggressive and mouthy and if you don't have a way of dealing with that you will suffer. I don't have a solution. If you can't understand a word the other party is on about, it is pretty hard to come up with any witty repartee. A soft answer turneth away wrath, but only if you can understand what the other guy is saying. I think it also goes without saying that a palm to the face may possibly offend.
It's a lose, lose situation for us and how many DLA assessors know about that?
William Mager
October 26, 2012
I think you’re missing the point of Rob’s story – he was talking about an example of a child who obviously had communication and something to say, but was being stifled by a non signing environment.
All the cutting repartee comes much later in life I think?
jmill3r
October 26, 2012
I agree with Andy here. The “cutting repartee” certainly does not start much later in life, William. From my experience ( severely hard of hearing all my life and sent to mainstream schooling rather than a ‘special school’ because audiologist thought I was bright enough) I was bullied and laughed at from the start and I had no way of standing up for myself. It’s very difficult to say to someone who’s said something to you in passing (especially aggressive and mouthy) can you come back and repeat what you said to my face in a calm manner and don’t cover your mouth so that I might be able to come up with a suitable riposte. It just doesn’t happen. In fact it will worsen the situation.
Rob’s article is interesting. I don’t sign (wish I did) but even I would find the situation of the wee boy bamboozling. It just becomes noise. Because you can’t follow you look lost which tends to confirm to those hearing people, who have no understanding of the situation, that you are ‘thick’.
Shane Kieran Gilchrist
October 28, 2012
Andy: You said that “Hearing people are often aggressive and mouthy and if you don’t have a way of dealing with that you will suffer” – that is very funny because hearies said that we deafies are often aggressive, rude and mouthy. What is going on?
Rob: Surdophobia is a very horrible and serious social ill that we have to deal with. We need to educate people about that and how we cannot accept that. Even simple gestures, hearies would turn into surdophobic bigots, shrilling “DONT SIGN TO HIM!” – oh please. When parents with deaf kids ask my mother how she communicate with me, she goes “oh, sign language” and they won’t talk to her about deaf stuff again. That is really horrible 🙁