Subtitle fail: Divine intervention on the football pitch as God comes off the bench to help Bolton Wanderers score

On a Sunday morning, I often sneak a look at the football highlights as my wife has a well-deserved lie in upstairs and the kids run wildly around the room. I’m educating them about the game – my eldest has become a Nottingham Forest supporter (she says) and knows what the difference between a header and a shot is.

But it’d take me a long time indeed to explain to her that the second coming occurred during a relatively nondescript match between Bolton Wanderers and Charlton Athletic last Saturday. At least, that’s what the subtitles told me…

I thought it was a little harsh, on such a momentous occasion, that God was left on the bench, but at least the manager saw sense, took off one of his disciples and sent him on to make an impact on the pitch. You wouldn’t expect any less, would you?