Leigh Taylor is a hearing mum of two children, one of whom is deaf and has a life-limiting condition. In between juggling the children, a full-time job and a never-ending stream of hospital appointments for her daughter, Leigh likes to make a nuisance of herself by arguing with the LEA about appropriate school placements, transport provision, speech therapy and so on.
1. What’s wrong with her?
Nothing. What’s wrong with you?
2. She’s doing so well… considering.
Stop patronising me! She’s either doing well, or she’s not. ‘Considering’ is such an insidious word.
3. But she looks normal!
She’s not normal – she’s superhuman.
4. Oh dear – special needs, is she? How do you cope?
Oh dear – your poor son. How do you cope?
5. I bet sometimes you wish that she’d never been born?
No, I’ve never experienced that particular emotion. I suggest you ask your mother how that might feel – no doubt she knows.
6. But she just heard me shouting – she can’t be deaf!
The whole room heard you – you sound like Brian Blessed with a megaphone.
7. Will she grow out of it?
Oh yes, When she reaches puberty her old,’broken’ ears will fall off and be replaced by shiny new ones which will work perfectly.
8. Ah – I’ve been watching her for 15 minutes and I knew there was something wrong with her, but I couldn’t work out what.
Really? I’ve been looking at you for 15 seconds and I can tell exactly what’s wrong with you.
9. Isn’t it great that they have Mr Tumble on TV for kiddies like her?
Oh yes. But she’s nearly 12 and she’s kind of grown out of Cbeebies…And no – just because your 5 year-old knows the makaton signs for ‘wee wee’ and ‘biscuit’, it doesn’t mean he’s going to grow up to be a teacher of the deaf.
10. Well,she’s lucky – at least she’ll be able to claim DLA when she’s older.
Yes, that’s fabulous for her. I don’t know why we’re even bothering to send her to school and beat an education into her, when she always has the benefits system to fall back on.
innocentsofoppression
January 16, 2013
Fabulous! I’m sure my mother will agree to all of these above. I’d be great if we could have 10 things Deaf people should never say to hearing people though I think it’ll be quite challenging to write.
Mick ✯ Canavan
January 16, 2013
Interesting but as innocentsofopression said, 10 things that a Deaf person should never say to a hearing parent of a Deaf child…wow, that’d put the cat amongstthe pigeons…is that you Nick? You do make me laugh!
Andreas Corbishley
January 16, 2013
Fantastic! As a hearing mum to our deaf son I experience such a range of emotions reading this – from laughing, agreeing, anger; but mostly smiling! Thank you! made my day!
Tracy C
January 16, 2013
Brilliant, my daughter is deaf and I’ve had all of the above bar No 5. I laughed my way through reading this!
Lana
January 18, 2013
It is great that you have confidence that your child will grow up happy and confident like you!!
Wish we have more “intelligent” mothers like you to make others think properly and learn more.