I’ve been switched on for a month now. It’s been a really steep learning curve, and after two tuning sessions I’m starting to feel like I’m getting close to the potential of the technology itself. I can hear all sorts of stuff now, that I won’t bore you with.
Hearing stuff is easy now.
Identifying it is much harder.
It’s especially harder when it comes to speech – I already sort of knew this, but it’s now becoming really obvious to me on a daily basis. Speech is made up of an almost infinite number of combinations of consonants, vowels, accents, speaking speeds, and so many other variables. It sounds almost completely alien to me after more than 30 years of learning to hear speech through hearing aids.
I’m beginning to develop a discrimination of sounds though. I can tell the difference between a d and a t, just about. Sounds like s are starting to become clearer.
Despite all that, I’m not very happy at the moment. I’m going to explain why.
I had my one month hearing test the other day. I’ve been having hearing tests since I was a baby. You sit in a soundproofed room and press a button when you hear sounds.
However, this was a different kind of hearing test. I was trying to listen to a man’s disembodied voice coming from a speaker, and to understand what he was saying.
I’ve taken this test before, as part of my assessment for the cochlear implant. I scored 1%, and that was only because I was wildly guessing at words like at, the, and and.
This time round I could hear more, but I understood even less. I could recognise p, ng, t sounds, but all of my guesses at what was being said were completely wrong. I scored 0%.
Fair enough.
But what really surprised me was the lipreading test. In this test they play a video of a man speaking without much facial expression, with sound accompanying it. When I took this test pre implant, I scored 96%.
When I took the test again earlier this week, I scored 75%.
So my comprehension of the spoken word is currently significantly worse than it was before the operation. In fact when I took the test this time round, I felt as though I was being overloaded with information – both visually and aurally. It was almost as though my brain didn’t know whether to listen to the speech first, or rely on the visual input first.
I was pretty down about this for a while, then I decided to put all of this in context. When I took the test first time round, it was wearing a hearing aid I’d had 30+ years of experience with. My brain was hammering every last dB of information it received from those hearing aids, and making pretty good guesses with the limited data.
Contrast that with this device in my head, which I’ve only had for a month, and was only turned up fully about two weeks ago. I’m having to relearn what speech sounds like all over again.
A slightly disappointing milestone – but at the same time useful as a benchmark for future measurement. I’ll be tested again at the three month mark, then at the six month mark, then again at one year. Hopefully improvement will show then.
I know where I am in testing terms, I now feel like I’m hearing everything around me day to day (OK, here’s a quick list: squeaking cabinet doors, fluorescent lights, my son’s giggle, the telephone, the wind outside, the waterfall outside the office, the clicking sound of the indicator in the car, the cracking noise my neck makes sometimes).
Now it’s time for a plan of focused, structured training every day, where I can measure my progress. Listening to audiobooks, learning the ling sounds of speech, watching TV without subtitles, using Kindergarten iPad apps, listening to music and trying to follow the lyrics, and much more.
It’s time for a training montage.
First published on William Mager’s blog: http://wlmager.com/blog/
William Mager is an award-winning director for film and TV, who made his first film aged 14 when he “set fire to a model Audi Quattro and was subsequently banned from the school film club for excessive pyromania.” He’s made short films, dramas and mini-series, and works for the BBC. Find out all about his work at his personal website – and if you’re on Twitter, follow him here.
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stepheniliffe
January 24, 2013
Thanks William (Billy 2.0) for the latest update on your pilgrim’s progress as an implantee. As a 51-year old severely to profoundly deaf hearing aid user, my general experience of information and stories about cochlear implants ranges from excitable/ecstatic from some adult deaf to depressed/defeated from others – with little in between. So, it’s really helpful to get these calm and measured reports using precise and vivid language to take the reader through what you’re experiencing at each stage. An objective weighting of the pros and cons, while not forgetting that you’re also a human being with feelings too. Lately, I’ve been asked the question I never thought I would be asked: “Have you thought about a cochlear implant?” By audiologists, of course. Increasingly by hearing people, no surprise there. But also by Deaf community members too – either as gentle wind up or apparently sincere. Ten years ago, this wouldn’t have happened, safe as I was within my Deaf community/rights comfort zone. But now the signals are getting harder to ignore. But what would I get exactly from an implant if I actually went for it!? I’m still very wary, very risk averse. Fear of losing what I have, the 51 year old ability to ‘hammer’ at those dBs and extract every last bit of data; I can enjoy one to one conversation in quiet space, love music, etc. Would my life experience improve or decrease with an implant? I can hardly bring myself to trust an audiologist’s (aka. salesperson’s) advice. Implantees are not always the most objective – either seeming to ‘talk up’ the benefits (at times, even more than the audiologists do) or seem strangely quiet and unforthcoming (covering up their disappointment, or just fed up with being asked?) So, your diary has been a revelation. Keep it up, Billy 2.0. It has confirmed my best understanding of implants to date, YES for increased hearing levels and picking up even minute sounds with remarkable clarity. STILL UNCERTAIN for improvements in speech discrimination. The thought of having to ‘retrain’ my brain (after 50 years) for speech discrimination is quite daunting, and the prospect of actually going backwards, performance-wise, is worse still. For now, I’m staying right where I am. Even so, I’ll watch this space, and good luck William with the next few months. Best wishes, Stephen
wmager
January 24, 2013
Wow – interesting to get your own experience and views Stephen. I’m really glad the posts are helping, and you find them informative. It’s sometimes hard to get these experiences into words… so to read replies like yours makes it feel worthwhile.
It might reassure you (or not!) to know that when I went to a ‘choosing your implant’ session at the hospital, I would say about seven out of the ten people in attendance were elderly deaf or deafened people. They’d all been approved for implants. I see a lot of elderly people in the waiting room too. They seem to be doing OK. I don’t know if that applies to you, but perhaps you shouldn’t let age be a barrier.
At the same time I completely understand what you mean – is it worth the change to a life that you’re happy with, that you feel contented in? Perhaps not.
Maybe a later blog I write will change your mind in the other direction, or further strengthen your resolve to stay where you are. Either way, as long as you’re happy – that’s the main thing.
I should pick you up on your point about audiologists though. The starting point for me getting a cochlear implant was a private audiologist turning to me after a hearing test and saying ‘I can no longer give you a hearing aid that will benefit you. Have you considered getting a cochlear implant?’
Jill
January 24, 2013
Thank you, William, for being so honest. My son and I continue to read your blog with deep interest. Thank you.
David Blackburn
January 24, 2013
Fancy yourself as Rocky?….(stifled giggles) …… You clearly are committed.. As the great man, Churchill would say “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”…… So Billy, I expect an improvement in your school reports, next time round… Thanks for sharing
Robert Mandara
January 24, 2013
Thank you William and Stephen! William, I really appreciate your honesty and detail in reporting your experience so far. Please return every now and again to let us know if and by how much things improve.
Stephen, your thoughts closely mirror my own although I’m “only” 44. Normally my motto would be “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”. In the case of hearing aids vs. cochlear implants that changes to “if it ain’t completely broke, don’t risk breaking it even more”.
In the past I have had audiologists (both health service and private) tell me that they can do nothing more with hearing aids and that I should have an implant. However, so far I have proven them wrong, mainly by going hands-on and self-programming the hearing aids to my satisfaction. You might be surprised at how much power can be unlocked in hearing aids if only audiologists would be brave enough to venture off-piste in the programming software. Don’t take it for fact that you’re at the end of the hearing aid road just because one or two audiologists tell you that you are.
I hope you’ll soon start to reap the benefits of the implant William and that you’ll have no regrets in the long term.
Oh dear
January 24, 2013
”But what really surprised me was the lipreading test. In this test they play a video of a man speaking without much facial expression, with sound accompanying it. When I took this test pre implant, I scored 96%.
When I took the test again earlier this week, I scored 75%.”
Oh dear.
What is the medical profession excuse(s) for this then?
Or is it you?
Could it be that you are trying to hard to ‘hear’ that you are subconsciously not lip-reading at the same level as pre-implant?
wmager
January 24, 2013
The result is as expected! Now that I’m getting much more information from the audio channel it’s going to take a while to balance that with the visual channel. Weirdly I’d probably have done a bit better in the test with my implant turned off.
I hope to see a slight improvement at 3 months and 6 months… we’ll see!
Martyn Brown
January 24, 2013
Thanks for sharing your experiences. I too have been told nothing more can be done hearing aid wise and I should consider implants. Having only been using digital aids for 5 years, I am still working hard to interpret what I call the wall of sound. No matter what stories you hear, good or bad, there is an element of risk, one that I’m not prepared to take at this moment in time. I admire anyone who goes for an implant and wish you well with it all.
Karen Bowler
February 4, 2013
really appreciate you sharing William – thanks and good luck
JR
February 8, 2013
That’s not Billy in the booth.