Tamara Marshall: Coming to terms with my deafness

Hi Tamara,

What a brave post! Thanks for sharing. There’s no reason your deafness should hold you back in your career – look at Charlie and me for starters! And, you’re certainly a very talented writer!

Access to Work can be such a great help and there’s support available from Hearing Link (www.hearinglink.org) and The Ear Foundation. Getting to know other people who have hearing loss can be a great confidence booster! There’s really no need to feel embarrassed about having hearing loss. (I say that from a point of view of someone who used to do everything to cover up my own hearing loss – but who now feels confident enough to just tell people.)

Do you know about Speech to text relay (STTR)? It’s like live subtitling and is available via Access to Work. Universities should be aware of it too (for lectures if you’re having difficulty hearing what’s said).

I hope you don’t have to wait long for your MRI scan results. I know how stressful that can be. Hope the hypnotherapy’s helping.

Hi Tamara I hope what I write will encourage you – I am 54 and around age of 4 lost my hearing through childhood illness – I had speech and with residual minimal hearing enhanced by using of hearing aids I have made my way through life and I really like and love who I am!! And I love the choice of being able to ‘switch off’ and enjoy silence from the ’madding crowds’!!

I began training as a nurse in 1977 one of the first deaf nurses. I had a focus and it was by sheer determination I finally got accepted into a school of nursing when many would not even consider me. Where I trained gave me an opportunity by letting me ‘prove’ myself having to complete what was then the SEN 2 years training – before I could do my SRN which is further 3 year training (well they deducted 6 months as I had ‘proved myself’) which is now the RN training. Then because I wanted to be a community sister, that was another additional year. So you could say it took me 6 years to finally get what I wanted – to be a nursing sister in the community!! Whilst ‘proving’ myself was patronising language it was of its time, and in fact they changed and other deaf nurses followed.

But I did it and without any of the exciting technology of today or Equality and Diversity Acts. I had horrid noisy hearing aids not the amazing blue toothed finely tuned digital ones of today (which means I actually ‘hear’ more clearly now!) I made some wonderful friends training with me at same time, people who were happy to learn how best to support me and share their notes. It was exhausting lip reading tutors we didn’t have the PowerPoint’s and other interactive presentation tools, computers and so on. And yes I met a lot of discrimination too however it provided golden opportunities to ‘educate one on one; – even a consultant who didn’t want a ‘deaf nurse’ on his ward!!

I went into nursing first and foremost because I wanted to be independent and to travel! In the 70’s it was about what could women do to be independent and that’s what I wanted – independce and opportunity to travel! Having a focus helps get past all the hurdles and challenges set before us by ignorance, bias, exclusion and indifference of being a ‘nuisance’ when we request what we need or ask someone to repeat and speak clearly. I lip read and don’t sign which causes another route of misunderstanding or when someone ‘discovers’ I am deaf they say ‘but you don’t speak like your deaf?!! Always an opportunity for some on the spot awareness raising!

We can all get tired and exhausted with finding ways to communicate and be understood each day. Its all part and whoever we are in life developing and evolving, finding ourselves and being happy with whom we are. Yes it takes time and again I use humour to develop confidence. I am so excited with all the technology we have access to now, computers, email, texts, and as the first comment on here from Aspinall Ink I now use remote STTR in meetings.

Oh and yes I did get to travel with my work on health projects overseas. I don’t work as a clinical nurse anymore as I work on health projects. I sometimes find its an increasing challenge now in the health service to take on board their responsibility via the Equality Act 2010 to ensure accessible communication for patients – so that’s my new challenge!! Does it get any easier – yes and no – there is always someone who finds it a nuisance to have to speak clearly or respond positively that’s life its not perfect find people we can laugh with and interested in who you are that they want to know more.

I encourage you in when you have your focus and clear in what it is you want to do with your life – access all that there is to support you to do so – there is so much more now and the ATW grants to fund – be persistence and clear on what you what to achieve and what you need to get there. I hope what I have written has gone some way to embrace what you have is part of who you are and go get ‘em 🙂

Hi Tamara, like you, I’ve been deaf since I was a child – I was diagnosed at 6 years old due to hearing tests not picking up on this when I was younger. I’ve got progressive loss so over the years I’ve had a few hearing drops but nothing major since I was a teen. I can’t hear anything without my hearing aids. I’m 28 at the moment and I’ve been through a lot in the past few years figuring out what I want from life and finally going for it. I went to University – first to do a BA in Sociology in 2003, then again a year after I graduated to do an MA in Women’s Studies. The only thing that helped me figure out what I wanted was writing when I did my dissertation for the MA. I’ve always been one of those people who adores reading, making up stories, blogging and writing. So pretty much, like you, I’m at the beginning of my writing and journalism career.

I’ve already made good headway by talking to other deaf writers and journalists, by learning from them and the different ways they write, by the different journeys they’ve had. There is an expanding network of deaf writers – there’s a Facebook group you’re welcome to join too. At the moment, I’m working for Deaf Unity as the Editor of their website, and working as a Freelance Journalist – granted, freelancing isn’t for everyone, but it can also give you more creative freedom. I’m building up my confidence – I hope in the near future I can start pitching articles to The Guardian, for example. One thing I’ve learnt from the host of brilliant deaf writers, and from my own instinct, is to use your deafness as a plus point, as something brilliantly unique about you and your writing. You have a wealth of experience to use in articles and blog posts. Writing for the Limping Chicken is a brilliant way of getting your story out there and also connecting with other writers 🙂

I completely understand about finding it hard to feel comfortable owning your deafness. I’m lucky because I’ve grown up meeting other deaf people (and a deaf sister), seeing that its society that puts up the barriers towards our achievement – not us. You can do anything. It does take time to feel comfortable within ourselves, for some people it takes longer than others, but you’ll get there! It’s just another aspect of you, just like being a woman or a writer.

Thank you for sharing your experiences Tamara! I have been deaf all my life- was diagnosed as a 9 month old.