Did you go to a mainstream school? I did. This type of education is called ‘inclusive education’, and it is anything but.
Here are 10 things I really learnt, when I went to mainstream secondary school from 1983 to 1990.
1. I’m different
I am told that I went to a ‘normal school,’ but when I got there, I didn’t feel that ‘normal’ at all. I was automatically described as the ‘deaf kid’, who was different.
What was ‘normal’ about that? What about a proper name like Mouth or Data or Chunk from the Goonies? By the way, did anyone remember my real name?
2. I get the blame
Sometimes, it was difficult for me to follow the teacher. And when I put my hand up for a ‘repeat’, the other kids started to moan and groan.
I would get accused of slowing down the class and affecting other students’ grades.
So I got the impression I was not only deaf, but also a liability.
John Walker when he was 16 years old
3. The hot/cold treatment
When I tried to strike up a conversation, a bit of banter, with the hearing kids; they tended to go hot and cold on me.
Some just ignored me to death, as if I didn’t exist. Others got all curious and asked me about the “funny signing thing”.
I shared what I knew and became as glamorous as E.T.
What was weird was that the very same people turned cold again the next day.
4. Don’t talk to the d-d-d-d-deaf
Sometimes I plucked up the courage to ‘make contact with the Others’, the d-d-d-d-deaf children. Then I felt naughty. I wasnot really supposed to talk to them, or any other deaf person for that matter.
The teachers didn’t want me to be influenced by ‘the Deaf world’ (cue twilight zone theme tune). I didn’t tell anyone, but I had been to the ‘dark side of the force’… and I quite liked it.
John Walker today
5. I’m “quiet”
I got labelled as the ‘quiet one’.
When you call me by my name and I don’t reply, it doesn’t mean that I am ‘quiet’ – it means I can’t hear you.
I am not ‘quiet’ by choice, I am this way because this type of education is not made for me. I am actually a really social guy, but how does one be social when other people use a language I can’t follow?
What do you think I am, a Ghostbuster?
6. I’m naïve
Yep, this is true. I had never heard how other children talk about stuff: their banter, jokes and how they wind each other up.
So, I couldn’t hear the change of intonation and as a result, fell into their traps – “George Michael from Wham is gay.” “Really?” “No. You’re gullible!” [Year 2014: well, actually…].
My street cred is taking a nosedive here.
7. Don’t do well
If I did badly in my tests, it was because I’m deaf. But if I did well, it was because I had extra support.
It was never possible to do well and actually get credit for it.
BUT, if I did do well without extra support – then I had to hide. Hearing kids don’t like feeling that they are not only poor students, but also worse than the deaf kid too.
They turn into Gremlins. And that’s when the fists come…
8. Forget the top class
I loved maths. It came easy to me. It was the one subject I could access because it was always written down. I did well in my tests in the 4th year (year 9 for the rest of you) and opted for advanced maths – and got turned down.
So, I stayed in the easy ‘middle group’, which had the maximum grade of ‘c’.
And what did I get for my GCSE? The easy bloody ‘c’.
9. Escape
It is pretty crazy in a mainstream school. Lips left, right and centre … and no one seems to be able to speak clearly.
I found my escape in books – one was “Ender’s Game” [Year 2014: now in the cinema] about a geeky kid who became a leader. I created a world where everyone can understand everyone.
In these stories, I am the fully functioning hearing person my parents and teachers would dream me to be.
Only to later realise it is their dream, more than mine.
10. Inclusive education is anything but
I feel excluded when I am included [A D.A.R.Y.L. brain fuzz]. I then realise that inclusive education is not about ME being included in the hearing school – it is more about hearing people wanting to see deaf people in their classrooms, because it is a “good idea”.
Don’t tell me otherwise because if they really wanted me to be included, they would have done something about it.
“Na-nu na-nu from Ork.”
As if written by John Walker, age 16 (in 1988).
Disclaimer: this is an ethnographic piece of creative work, which has therapeutic rewards for the author.
If you liked this, read John Walker’s article for us, My Journey to ‘Capital Deaf’
John Walker is a senior research fellow at University of Brighton. Deaf, and sign language user by informed choice. He writes a blog on topics related to the Bourdieusian principle, by the title “Deaf Capital” . It is concerned with the ‘value’ that people place on the Deaf community or the cultural elements of deaf lives that can be askew or misconstrued. Follow him on twitter as @chereme
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Angela Lindsay
April 14, 2014
I am hearing-impaired and went to 2 mainstream secondary schools (with FM system but NO extra support). The first one was co-ed (boys and girls) and although I did very well academically in the academic class and teachers took a shine to me, the hearing students blew hot and cold with me (like you found) and I felt lonely, so I ended up becoming a library monitor to fill my time during recession. The school guidance counsellor there was useless when I confided in her about my lack of social inclusion at the school. Thankfully, my parents acknowledged my loneliness and moved me to a girls’ only mainstream secondary school closer to home and friendships developed there. I stayed on, maintained good friendships and finished school with university credits. I rationalised that friendships with students with special needs at a co-ed secondary school threatened the “cool image” of students in the presence of the opposite sex and peers. During my secondary school education, I developed connections with the local Deaf community, through Deaf friends and boyfriends who went to a Deaf school in the same county, which my parents never refused or denied me. Access to both worlds has enabled me to identify myself as both bilingual and bicultural.
David Canady
April 16, 2016
Yours was a good read! Appreciate the share. I need to do the same one day soon if I can ‘English write’! Or Doing videotaping in ASL.Could be such a idea!
listenersmanifesto
April 14, 2014
Brilliant!
Melanie
April 14, 2014
I know it only too well. I have been treated like a leper and when I was 16 I was so curious how an atom bomb was made I asked one university student whom I made friend with, he said “you’re intelligent!”. Am I not supposed to be intelligent just because I can’t hear? My daughter went to university and got her doctorate people said “where did she get that from”!! Insult after insult! We deafies are not THICK!
Irene Thornett
May 20, 2014
Quite right, Melanie. Being deaf does NOT mean you are stupid. I think those who insult you rather than try to get to know you are the “thickies”
Linda Richards
April 14, 2014
Funnily enough, I had just been reflecting on my schooldays recently. The key thing here is the word ‘mainstream’. In my day (!) it wasn’t called that. It wasn’t called anything. My experience was quite different. But then I’m different to John. Indeed, each person is different. ‘Integration’ was the fad that came later. Then ‘mainstream’. Now it’s ‘inclusion’. But fundamental to those is John’s point about it being a ‘good idea’ (not) and latterly, a cost-saving exercise. But at what cost? And at whose expense? And, I’d recommend (if you haven’t already) reading John’s article ‘My journey to Capital Deaf’. Absolutely brilliant.
John Walker
April 14, 2014
My Journey to Capital Deaf can be found here: http://limpingchicken.com/2013/03/05/capital-deaf/
pennybsl
April 14, 2014
Excellent Monday morning booster – a cocktail of reality, myth-breaking and resilience.
There are now some good examples in mainstream education,especially with trained Deaf staff in the Deaf Education support team.
But there is still too high (like 80%) a number of deaf young people ‘alone’ in secondary schools. Referrals to mental health services are worryingly numerous.
Hey, everyone, raise hands in Deaf applause to those survivors of the system, and those who gained their Deafhood, contribute in our Deaf hertiage and fighting for equal rights.
Huw
April 14, 2014
Excellent article – this is why we made sure our son went to a specialist school for deaf children where they really are “normal” and learn that they are just as capable of high achievement as anyone else!
Bob
April 14, 2014
What the hell is up with this at the end?
“Disclaimer: this is an ethnographic piece of creative work, which has therapeutic rewards for the author.”
While the article may have been written as if by a 16 year old (which it doesn’t seem to be, Walker should work on his creative writing skills), the points raised are still, at least to me, very valid. Perhaps John Walker should rewrite this article from his point of view as an adult looking back so this article won’t have its value reduced by such a disclaimer?
John Walker
April 14, 2014
I think quite often it is the other way round. Work is descridited as an adult reference on a childhood experience. The article was written in a way that I would write as a young person – a voice that teachers and educationalists often fail to listen to or I had limited opportunity to express these views. Writing as an adult on a childhood experience has been done in the past time and time again, and very little of that work has been valued. The fact that I could write this piece as a young person, which is 26 years ago, is where the creative element comes in.
pennybsl
April 14, 2014
We like John are entitled to use our inner child as Deaf people — the ten issues are still alive in countless young deaf people today. Bob, what exactly is the cause which pressed your button?
Tim
April 14, 2014
I used to think I had it bad (Deaf oral school) but then I read accounts like this and think ‘Phew! Lucky escape!’ Paddy Ladd told me he called it ‘mainscreaming.’
I think I’m permanently connected to my inner child – it’s the only way I can deal with the rubbish that hearies JCB into my lap.
Anybody interested in a Deaf veteran’s point of view, anybody at all? Hamilton Lodge are the people who do things right.
bozothewondernerd
April 14, 2014
It must be tough to be an AODC (Adult of Deaf Child) – trying to do your best for your child but with no background or experience in what deafness truly means. Maybe slightly easier to get that background and information nowadays, given t’Internet and the such, but a generation ago? With all the, ‘professional’ advice guiding you towards, ‘mainstream’? And when your child develops deafness after establishing him/herself within that same mainstream? Definitely worth discussing with your AODC – if only to forgive them for trying their hardest but – for you – making some wrong calls …
Steve Gargly (@sirgarg)
April 14, 2014
When I was at school, they only suggested that I have a card made to pass to teachers to say that I had to have a front class seat in lessons..of course it made no difference where I sat, I still fell asleep.
maggiecop2005
April 15, 2014
What John Walker described his experience in a mainstreamed (oh should I say “mainscreamed because of silence within me) school is what I went through, too. Sad, I missed out a lot in what I learned. No hearing people can ever UNDERSTAND what the Deaf people are experiencing in a hearing world where they think they know what is best for us!!
It really hurts so much!!! Nothing more can help the hearing world – let alone the Deaf people cope with his or her life!!
Tuity
April 15, 2014
Several of the items listed here applied to me. However – I was fortunate to have had a hearing brother 3 years ahead of me to help advertise my name as well as my domination in the 3 sports – baseball, basketball and football. My size helped immensely so much that if you took away my sports and size – I think I would have experienced the exact same as you outlined.
Jeremy
April 15, 2014
I had a very positive experience as a mainstreamed Deaf student. My classmates accepted me and were very friendly to me. I was offered all the opportunities available to my hearing peers; nothing was held back from me on account of my deafness. I had every opportunity to excel academically, I took honors classes, was in the NHS, played drums in the school band (yes, I’m PROFOUNDLY deaf) and graduated 12th out of a class of 300-400 students. What’s different between Walker’s experience and mine was that I had a sign language interpreter during my entire grade school life, from K to 12, and I grew up and graduated with several of the classmates I knew from elementary school. So, resist the temptation to generalize the mainstreamed experience based on one man’s story.
John David Walker
April 15, 2014
That is absolutely great, Jeremy. You have highlighted the reason why I have set the article in the 1980s, as it may (or may not) be different today. For me, the question is more important than the answer as we need to open our discussions to start talking about whether it works and how it might work better. At least now, we are more aware of stories of success like yours. Please do share more details so people might learn from it.
Jenna
July 30, 2014
My daughter was born deaf and received her first CI when she was 1. Although she has been very successfull with her CI and has beautiful speech and language, that has not kept her from being successfull socially in school. Now she is going into the 7th grade hopefully to a deaf school. I got a call from ISDB saying my daughter had called them and was very hopeful she cod attend their school. I am more than supportive of her decision all I want for her is to thrive in the culture she feels most comfortable with. Please prey that our school now agrees tote her go!!
John
April 16, 2014
AUDISM MUST STOP NOW!
Gloria
April 16, 2014
John-
All that you mentioned above was so true. I fell so far behind once I got to middle school. And what frustrates me so much was the fact that people really treated you differently. My most frustrated moments were when the special ed teachers expected me to get it. I was so puzzled by their behavior and I had wished my parents didn’t move me to mainstreamed classrooms. And what’s more, I sadden by the fact that I didn’t have a sign language interpreter, so when I hit high school I was somewhat shocked by what I missed that my English wasn’t where I wanted it to be.
A lesson learned from the experience but nonetheless, it was not a fun ride.
Like you I was isolated most of the time. I fit no where in the mainstream classes as well as the deaf at times because they thought I could really hear but all my life I really was deaf. Speaking 3 languages was hard. (I am from Puerto Rico).
So please continue this since, I thought I was the only one experiencing this and didn’t realize I wasn’t the only one. So, thank you for sharing your story. It is a blessing to know they are some like us out there.
John David Walker
April 16, 2014
You are not alone for sure. Don’t forget that getting through mainstream education is such an achievement, it will give you the resolve to face other challenges. More so for you, if you have to learn three languages along the way. But a lot of people say to me, “but hey, look at you now”; I have turned it around and made it work for me. We don’t have to continue the legacy of our education, we can change it and show others there is a better way.
Tim
April 16, 2014
I was bullied by hearing teachers in high-school b/c they werent polite. Computer teacher got so frustrated with me b/c I couldnt follow her instructions so she yanked the cord out of the wall outlet and all the students looked at me and laughed. I just smiled… I was trying to type with a type-writer but I couldnt keep up and I was distracting the class so the teacher walked over and turned my type-writer off… Many yrs later, Im still depressed about it.
Belinda m.
April 16, 2014
I don’t like mainstream school bec of no ASL or/and sign language at the time. When I left there my graduation. Now allowed ASL and interpreter. Not fair for me. I hate oral or lipreading bec of teacher picky on my chin or watch on my eyes. Not much help speed bec of no sound related on mouth. Stupid on bell graham.
Ashna
February 12, 2015
It’s so true. I’ve been in a mainstream school since first grade and now I am in one of the best engineering college. And, it has done nothing but batter my psyche as I am surrounded by many brilliant individuals. I know, I am incredibly social, smart, love to talk, joke and banter. And I’ve lost my confidence. There are times I don’t even trust myself because I didn’t “hear” the lectures, and announcements. It’s so hard, leading to depression. Sometimes, i barely keep going on.
I just want to do things my own way. Create, design and invent stuff, but college life plus my deafness makes things really hard on the academic front.
At least, now I know I am not alone. 🙂
John Walker
February 12, 2015
Ashna, I wrote the article and I just wanted to reply to say that I am with you. This list is a criticism of mainstream education but we can come out stronger for it. We are more than the sum of our educational experiences and in time that confident and real you will shine again.
David
March 24, 2015
I sympathise you John with your mainstream school/ “normal school” experience. I had exactly the same “ride”, except I went to a private school (1972- 1977). It was a Comedy of Tragic Errors. I could write a book, and I’m sure it would be turned into a major film. Another life- lesson for the world to learn…… (haven’t we read this book too many times before?)
Neil Southerland
April 30, 2015
I could write a book about going to mainstream school being “hard of hearing” I have to say it was 18 years of living hell. My life afterwards was much better. I’m 55 now and work as an electrician and earn a comfortable livivg. Being deaf is a plus as I’m not distracted by all the banter of coworkers. Everyone I deal with regularly knows I can’t hear and to me, my wife who is hearing, and friends its no big deal. Life just deals us our cards and we can live with it or stagnate.
James Mallard
April 16, 2016
I was mainstreamed in school with a progressive hearing loss that was getting pretty serious by the time I was in HS. I wore a hearing aid in one ear but go not support other than that. Very difficult participating in class. I quickly learned not to ask questions in class. NO Social life, Girls are weird enough if you have some idea what is going on and I had no idea. I was the weird kid. Somebody told me years later “You wouldn’t talk to us!” I know a number of Deaf/HOH mainstreamed people what had that happen. No other deaf or HOH kids in my school that I was aware of.
Karl Blessing
April 17, 2016
I grew up an army brat, so I moved around *a lot*, and after my dad retired before my freshman year of highschool, I had transferred four times during high school, and these were civilian schools, not easy to transfer between, across state borders.
1. Yep
2. Yep… depending on the school, particularly around elementary and middle school.
3. Definitely yep, especially among same-age peers.
4. Yep, usually with the “retard” hand slap against the chest mocking.
5. In my younger years yes, in my high school years, I was the one teachers said I should join the debate team, and they didn’t mean that as a compliment.
6. Not sure about naive, but I have been perceived as being mentally slow, or completely clueless in regards to social cliques.
7. Because of #6, I strived to do well in school so that I would never be labeled as stupid. But at the same time I was rather defensive of any peers that had mental impairment being labeled as the same, regrettably not as much as I would have like to have stood up for others, as I did fear getting killed in Fayetteville, NC if I said too much.
8. It depended for me, worst subjects were naturally English, history, etc. Better subjects were the science, etc. I also had about 3 years of French before getting bored of it and moved onto AP Data instructions in C++ during my senior year along with AP Discrete Math. Lee’s Summit HS in Lee’s Summit, Missouri was the most accommodating during my senior year. During my freshman year in 71st HS in Fayetteville, NC, I was the only passing student out of 32 students in pre-algebra.
9. For the most part. I spent most my time reading, staying isolated, very few friends depending on where we were living, there was usually that *1* person in any notable location, half the time being an adult that I would ever talk to, or at least just accompany while doing my own thing.
10. Yep, depending on the location. During middle school while we were stationed in Germany, DOD (department of defense) school system did not seem very inclusive, and actually tried to discourage me from many extracurriculars stating that my hearing loss means I would perform poorly (such as saying I wasn’t allowed to take French until I threatened them).
Megan
April 17, 2016
Karl,
Where in Germany were you stationed? I was in Frankfurt in the early 90’s. At my middle school, all the 6th graders were required to take a sign language class due to us being the cluster site for the D/HH students. At least from a hearing student’s perspective, who was clueless about hearing loss at the time, that seemed to help the D/HH students be more included (I was only at the school fornone year).
I graduated from Belton High in Belton, MO.
Small world.
I am now a Teacher of the Deaf in a mainstream school and agree that some of my students experience these situations and it breaks my heart (thankfully we have about 30 students pre-k through 5th grade, so they aren’t the only D/HH student). How I wish some of them could go to the school for the Deaf, but there are people in the community telling the parents not to let them sign, or that if they end up at the school for the Deaf, it means they’ve failed. So sad. I will keep fighting for my students.
schetch
April 17, 2016
From the sounds of it, a lot of things were done wrong in your case (not blaming you for any of them). And while I am hearing, I was born with one hand and can certainly see the draw to a school for the Deaf; I would have been ecstatic to find just one lopsided friend in school. I’m not going to tell anyone who puts their deaf child in a school for the Deaf that they’re wrong, because there are wonderful advantages to those schools.
Still, if it can be done right, mainstreaming does have a positive side, too (for example: https://www.facebook.com/NowThisNews/videos/1700393340174045/). All those hearing kids had a chance to get to know you, and I can’t help thinking that they are better for it, even though it wasn’t perfect. They didn’t treat you as well as they should, and the teacher should have done a better job guiding their behavior, but everyone in that room got a chance to be with someone not like themselves, and there are good lessons that can teach. Maybe the next deaf person that classmate runs across will receive better treatment because the classmate knew you, and somewhere inside realizes that they could have treated you better.
John David Walker
April 18, 2016
I am sorry the article’s learning points have not reached you. Sometimes, I am successful in making people think but sometimes I am not. My article doesn’t invite people to provide me with their own solution(s) but to give people space to think, reflect and understand. All the best, John.
DD
May 21, 2016
Oh yes I remember mainstream all too well. No support or extra help. I had two speech therapy sessions and cleared to stop in first grade. Not sure why because I had a heck of a time from that time on. I am profoundly deaf and wear 2 BTE hearing aids. I was told many times that I was not paying attention and needed to focus. I failed social studies 2 times in 4th or 5th grade and no one told me why. My guidance counselor in HS told me to drop out and get my GED because of my poor social skills. I was not allowed to talk to deaf people at all. I was told they were mean. I learned later in life that is far from the truth. ASL was forbidden. Now as an adult I make sure no one feels left out. I think most people with hearing loss who were mainstreamed could write a book. It was tough.
John Russell
June 25, 2016
I need to find time to read all this. I’m a great supporter of deaf schools and the self contained classroom. Right now my battle is with principals and other sped teachers who believe in mix them up and spread them out and they learn better that way and so next year I have to co teach whatever that will be.
John David Walker
June 25, 2016
Delighted this has given you opportunity to reflect. I am sure you will do good wherever you go.