At weekends, we publish some of the most popular articles from our archive. Tell us which are your favourite articles by emailing thelimpingchicken@gmail.com.
When you’re Deaf or hard of hearing, sometimes things that are similar get muddled up, but it’s not the end of the world – in fact, it’s often quite hilarious!
For example, when I was a youngster I used to refer to the Pacific Ocean as the “specific” ocean – and that was before I lost my hearing!
So, without further ado, I give to you my favourite top 10 misheard song lyrics. It’s best if you sing them out loud! Really, give it a try!
1. Madonna – Like a Virgin
“Like a virgin… touched for the thirty-first time.”
Oh Madonna you saucy minx! I’d heard she’d been around the block but my goodness!
Oh, hold on… she was only “touched for the very first time”.
My mistake, Madge, I take it all back!
2. Billy Myers – Kiss the Rain
“Kiss Lorraine”
Who is this Lorraine? And why is she so kissable?
Oh, apparently it’s just Billy Myers being overly affectionate with the weather, and it should have been ‘Kiss the rain.’
No wonder we got confused!
3. Jimi Hendrix – Purple Haze
“Scuse me while I kiss this guy”
More kissing?! I honestly didn’t know Jimi Hendrix swung that way and that’s probably because he doesn’t. He was in fact singing about kissing “the sky.”
Not that it makes any more sense.
4. Bryan Adams – Summer of ’69
“Got my first real sex dream”
That is exactly the type of thing you should keep to yourself, Mr Adams!
He didn’t actually get a sex dream though. Or at least, he didn’t write a song about it anyway.
He got his “first real six string”, a guitar.
Get your minds out of the gutter!
5. Bon Jovi – Living On a Prayer
“It doesn’t matter if we’re naked or not”
Depends where you are and who you’re with surely? In fact, I can think of numerous scenarios in which clothes are essential.
But this wasn’t a pro-nudism song anyway – Bon Jovi simply didn’t care if you’d “make it or not”, and clothing was optional.
6. Bee Gees – More Than A Woman
“Norman’s a woman, Norman’s a woman to me”
I always knew there was something different about that guy Norman, and it’s nice to know that the Bee Gees agree with me.
Except they don’t and I owe Norman a huge apology. It actually was “More than a woman, more than a woman to me.”
Sorry Norm, must be the way you walk.
7. Issac Hayes – Shaft
“He’s a carpet cleaning man but no-one understands him but his woman”
Ah yes, that John Shaft is a man of many talents; private detective, sex machine and avid carpet cleaner.
Unfortunately for those of you who spilt last night’s wine, the latter isn’t true. You see, Shaft is actually a “complicated man”.
His domestic habits are yet to be documented.
8. Will Smith – Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme
“Shooting some people outside of the school”
Well, I’m shocked and appalled! Will Smith doesn’t usually go for such controversial lyrics! But before you get yourselves worked up, let me clarify something for you.
Will was “shooting some B-ball”, which the cool kids tell me is street talk for participating in a game of basketball.
See? No harm done.
9. Joni Mitchell – Big Yellow Taxi
“A gay pair of guys put up a parking lot”
What’s this nonsense Joni Mitchell is spouting? What does sexual orientation have to do with building capabilities?
She should have gone with something like, oh I don’t know “They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.”
Makes much more sense, whichever way the builders liked to swing.
10. Celine Dion – My Heart Will Go On
“The hot-dogs go on.”
This was meant to be the theme to Titanic, wasn’t it? Now, I’ve seen that film and at no point do hot-dogs make an appearance (you can keep your smutty jokes about the steamy car scene to yourself).
So what was she actually singing about then? The heart. “The heart does go on”. That’s much more romantic than a song about hot-dogs (no offence to hot-dog lovers throughout the world).
So there you have it and if you want more, Google is only a mere mouse click away! Be sure to let us know if you find any corkers!
If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy: The ten annoying habits of hearing people
The Limping Chicken is the UK’s deaf blogs and news website, and is the world’s most popular deaf blog.
Make sure you never miss a post by finding out how to follow us, and don’t forget to check out what our supporters provide:
- Phonak: innovative technology and products in hearing acoustics
- Ai-Live: Live captions and transcripts
- Bellman: hearing loss solutions
- Deaf Umbrella: sign language interpreting and communications support
- Clarion: BSL/English interpreting and employment services
- Appa: Communication services for Deaf, Deafblind and hard of hearing people
- SignVideo: Instant BSL video interpreting online
- 121 Captions: captioning and speech-to-text services
- Doncaster School for the Deaf: education for Deaf children
- Signworld: online BSL learning and teaching materials
- Lipspeaker UK: specialist lipspeaking support
- CJ Interpreting: communication support in BSL
- Sign Solutions:, language and learning
- Sign Lingual: BSL interpreting and communication services
- Action Deafness Communications: sign language and Red Dot online video interpreting
- SDHH: Project Development and Consultancy
- Mykasoft: Deaf-run Web Design Studio
- deafPLUS: Money advice line in BSL
- Hamilton Lodge School in Brighton: education for Deaf children
- RAD: financial advice for Deaf people
- cSeeker: Online booking for communication support
- Krazy Kat: visual theatre with BSL
- Enable Support Services: Supporting Deaf children and adults in Suffolk, Essex, Cambridgeshire and Norfolk
- Exeter Deaf Academy: education for Deaf children
- SignHealth: healthcare charity for Deaf people
Dana
June 29, 2015
Haha made me chuckle this did 🙂
emilycommander
September 9, 2016
This is brilliant. I have to say that my husband is not deaf and has managed to come up with some equally amusing lyric mistakes in his time. I particularly enjoy his rendition of a hymn that goes “thine be the glory, risen concrete sign”…