Do you lipread? I do. Most of the time, I am not aware of it, but I know I must be doing it, because it annoys me terribly when people cover their mouths when they speak!
I have gotten quite skilled at it over the years, because the other day at a meeting, a colleague across the table from me made a quiet comment to another person about a skill she had, and I “heard” it. When I asked her about it, she replied, “You must be a very good lipreader, because there is no way you could have heard what I said.” Interesting.
My children like to play lipreading games with me. It is good practice for me, because they keep making it harder and harder until I am stumped. That, of course, is their favorite part!
One night on a recent vacation, they decided to try a lipreading-only dinner. The people at the tables next to us must have thought we were crazy, with the kids moving their mouths with no sound coming out and then me replying with my voice. Half the time the kids would burst out laughing at my response. It ended up being a lot of fun.
First off, the name of the restaurant was tricky. It was called Vista Mare, but I kept thinking they were saying, “Kick the ball.” They would ask me, “How do you like Vista Mare?” and I would answer, “What type of ball?” Peals of laughter followed. Eventually they pointed to the name on the menu so I figured it out.
Our discussion of the beautiful sunset went smoothly — “What a beautiful sunset,” and “Let’s take a picture,” were pretty easy, especially since it was a stunning evening in paradise. Talking about what we might order was also simple, since the menu was right in front of me to scan. Plus, my children always order the same thing at an Italian restaurant, so I didn’t even need to read their lips to know what they were saying.
But then we moved onto movies and popular culture. I could handle Star Wars and some discussion of the upcoming new movie — “Would Luke be in it? Was Kaylo Ren related to Luke? Should we see it on opening day?” Even discussing Matt Damon in Martian was fine, but then they moved on to Benedict Cumberbatch. To be honest, I didn’t even know who that was, but apparently he is a famous British actor that has been in many movies.
“Did what have an escape hatch? I asked. “Is someone walking down a lumber path?” I tried. I’m not sure what a lumber path is, but you never know. “Are they bending in a cummerbund?” Then it was my kids’ turn to have no idea what that was. I guess we haven’t taken them to too many black tie events.
They could not get enough of this hilarity, and there were no clues they could give me because I had never hear of this guy. (Sorry Benedict…) They eventually had to cheat and say it out loud.
Lipreading games can be fun, but they are also good practice. Lipreading, or speech reading as it is sometimes called, is an incredibly important skill for those of us with hearing loss, and one that I seem to rely on even more than I know. But as the games with my kids show, lipreading alone is not enough. It is the combination of the sounds and the lipreading that is most powerful.
The games also showed how much energy those of us with hearing loss use in every communication situation. Not only are we using our ears to hear, but our eyes to lipread, and our brains to put it all together into something coherent. Once we figure out what the person has said, we are not done, because then we need to reply!
Nevertheless, I am very grateful for my ability to lipread and may take a class to improve my skills. And of course keep practicing with my kids.
Readers, do you lipread?
Shari Eberts is a hearing health advocate, writer, and avid Bikram yogi. She blogs at LivingWithHearingLoss.com and serves on the Board of Trustees of Hearing Loss Association of America. She is the former Board Chair of Hearing Health Foundation. Shari has an adult-onset genetic hearing loss and hopes that by sharing her story it will help others to live more peacefully with their own hearing issues. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.
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Sara
December 9, 2016
I am also so grateful I can lip read, without it I would really struggle away work, although as you say this can be incredibly tiring in back to back meetings over the working day
Shari Eberts
December 9, 2016
Yes, very exhausting. Keep at it though — it is important. Thanks for your comment.
Molly Berry
December 9, 2016
Lipreading and Managing Hearing Loss classes are incredibly valuable if you have hearing loss. For classes taught by qualified tutors throughout the UK go to http://www.atlalipreading.org.uk
Not only do you improve your lipreading in a class, you meet others with similar problems, learn communication tactics, find out about equipment and organisations that can help, and classes are good fun.
I don’t think that many other countries offer these classes, which is a shame, they are so useful.
Shari Eberts
December 9, 2016
Those classes sound wonderful. I need to find one in NYC.
MR
December 9, 2016
I put in over double the output by lip reading than just using my residual hearing alone, so rely heavily on it.
I used to get people to practice through windows or from the side, different angles to improve skills, but people forget how much concentration it takes and how that can tire after a while.
Great idea for lip reading game!
Shari Eberts
December 9, 2016
Lipreading games are fun. I haven’t tried from the side angle though — will need to add that to the game as an extra challenge. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
annleslie1
December 12, 2016
I have 4 deaf sisters and brothers, I am hearing. I catch myself looking at a persons lips more than their eyes when I carry on a conversation. I learned to speak clearly and not look away when speaking to anyone. My deaf siblings grew up only lip reading and speaking, even though they were profoundly deaf. They graduated college and 2 received post graduate degrees. Lip reading is a skill of not just reading lips, my deaf sister would tell me. She says it is also knowing and understanding the content of the conversation in order to interpret what the lips are telling you. It is a huge skill and valuable when communicating with hearing persons. All hearing persons should work on their communication skills of speaking clearly and facing persons when talking to them.
Thanks for sharing your story Shari.
Sandra Hoopmann
December 13, 2016
Shari, your article about lipreading brings back so many memories for me, often hilarious ones. I was born profoundly deaf and learnt lip-reading from a very young age, first from my mother then at the Oral Deaf School in Brisbane (Australia) in the 1950s. My mother had beautiful lips and was well spoken, so, lip-reading Mum was a dream, but not my father who had tiny teeth and lips that moved like a post box slit. It was hard going lipreading Dad, but he was patient and persistent. Eventually, I did understand Dad but never as well as I understood Mum. Thankfully, he possessed expressive eyes and good facial movements, so that helped. My hearing sister was not bad, but still easy enough to pick up once I knew the context of her communication. But, outside the safe boundaries of my family, I quickly discovered an alien world with all kinds of strange lips and different shapes of teeth and mouth-patterns that proved a real challenge to my lip-reading abilities. I took lip-reading as an adventure because I became fascinated with all the mouth shapes, the dirtiness or cleanliness of teeth and the way the tongue rolled around and flicked out and in, and all sorts of strange contortions.
I used to play games with lipreading to find out what accents people used just by watching the mouth movements. I thought my Scottish Gran’s pronunciation of “purse” was “pus”. It took me a while to get used to her saying “I must find my purse” while I tried not to think of “pus”. So made a memory note of the difference. Lipreading takes a lot of effort to adapt and change according to each person I communicate with. I find Greeks, Italians and Dutch people easier to follow than those with English, Scottish or Welsh lip patterns, especially the Scots! All I can see is a permanent smile as they talk. They roll their “rrrr’s” in the back of their throats. It’s like lip-reading puppets with up-down lips with no variations in the shapes of the mouths. Asian lip-patterns are the same. I find most Asians smile as they speak, which is lovely; but, for me as a lip-reader, it’s very hard for me to work out what they’re saying most of the time. So, I resort to pen and paper or gestures.
Men with beards and heavy moustaches are another “groan moment” for me, especially Academic professors, and especially those with straggly moustaches that grow over their lips! I’m often tempted to lift their moustaches so I could read what they’re saying. Years ago, at an American seminary, I recall meeting one lovely young man from Texas who sported a luxurious, thick moustache, one of the most beautiful moustaches I’ve ever seen. Being Australian newly arrived in USA, I couldn’t understand his broad Texan drawl with the thick broom over his top lip, and politely told him that his moustache gets in the way a bit for me to lip-read him. He was gracious about it. The next day, I met him again and discovered he shaved off his lovely thick broom! I was gobsmacked as no one had ever done that for me! He was so nice about it, because he wanted me to understand his lips. What a lovely man! I don’t think many people would sacrifice their moustaches and beards for deaf people who lipread.
I’m now in my 60s, and find I get tired more quickly with lip-reading. I noticed when I was young, I could absorb patterns more quickly. But now, that is not always the case. Mornings are ok when I feel fresh but, as the day wears on, I become more tired after a day of lip-reading. My husband is the same. Since I learn Australian Sign Language, I find it much easier to sign especially at night. Signing uses the whole body with its wonderful expressions, gestures and unique language. It’s more relaxing to use and not as hard work as lip-reading. So, I embrace the best of both worlds – lip-reading and signing.
Please pardon my long diatribe, Shari. Your article did bring back memories and experiences for me. Thank you for sharing.