The Secret Deafie: The man who made me believe a hearing/deaf relationship could work

At weekends, we post our most popular blogs from our archive, to give our readers a second chance to find them!

The Secret Deafie is a series of anonymous posts from deaf people about their experiences. Read more anonymous posts here. 

I have always been hard of hearing, but recently my hearing is deteriorating more and more to the point where the hearing aids have come back into use.

I’ve also started signing more now as it helps me communicate what I’m trying to say when I cant string the right words together!

My hearing has never really restricted my love life, however my ex left me shortly after my ears started to deteriorate; leaving me with all kinds of questions.

Is he leaving me because I’m deaf?

Can he not be bothered to learn sign?

Is there something wrong with me?

I will probably never get the answer. And I’m not sure I would want to know as I have moved on and am very happy! Although at first I was anxious about another hearie/deafie relationship.

My new boyfriend and I had been together for 3 months and it was going well! By going well I specifically mean he didn’t run a mile when I told him I’m deaf in the early days. his career is basically in sound so he’s pretty passionate about music and I assumed he would want me to have exactly the same interests.

I genuinely thought this would be an issue!

I came home from work one day and we had dinner, he had got me some flowers as well. He’s lovely like that.

Then all of a sudden he signs ‘I love you’ across the room (first time we have said it btw) my heart just melted!

He cared enough to learn something in sign without me ever asking, I would never expect someone to learn sign for me but this just shows that my idea of a deafie/ hearie relationship can work. As long as you put in the effort to communicate and respect each other you can be blissfully happy.

What I’m attempting to put across is that you cant stop yourself from trusting someone again because of a bad decision someone made previously, and people can always surprise you!