Jennifer Wilson: The questions Deaf people are asked – and how to respond

Finding out someone is deaf can be hard to hear (pun intended), so in response to the recent Deaf Awareness Week, I’ve written a list of common questions and occurrences that us deaf people get on a regular basis.

Although the questions themselves can be annoying, they don’t usually come from a bad place, and these answers are not meant to be taken seriously! You’ve gotta laugh, right?

Hearing aids/cochlear implants must be really annoying and uncomfortable to wear?

Well, I guess those huuuge ridiculous headphones you’re wearing must be the bane of your life.

You’re deaf? But….but….but….you can TALK?!

Well I’ll be damned! 

But Deaf people just choose what they want to hear, right?

That is actually true. I can switch off my processor when I hear (haha) silly rumours like this. 

(Exaggerated speech) HE-LLLOOOOO! H-O-O-O-O-WUH *pause* A-RE *pause* YOU! TO-DAY?

Please don’t exaggerate, it makes my eyes hurt.

You’re deaf? Awwwwwwww I’m SO SO SO sorry to hear that/awwww you must have a crap non-life/(something along the lines of that)

*tearfully* you’re right….it’s been hard for the past 32 years, but the next decade is where it’s going to get REALLY tough… 

You’re deaf? Ohhh….SORRY… [wild windmill gesture]…..BUT…..I…..[wild point to self]….DO…[frantic nodding]….NOT….[wild hand flapping]….SIIIIGGGNNNNN…[wild hand movements]

Well, you’re doing a pretty good job….at making a fool of yourself. Well done. Oh and just so you know, some deaf people DO sign, and some don’t.

[Person does a bunch of wild, unintelligible charade-like gestures]
I’ve almost cracked what you’re trying to say, could you please do it again, just make it a little bit bigger…wow, you should join the circus. 

Oh!!! I know sign language!! [does ‘why don’t you f- off’ gesture]

Ooookeee…let me tell you what that LITERALLY means. Ready? N….Backwards N…Through….great!

You can’t be deaf, you don’t look deaf!

Right. We are born with gills, but they gradually disappear as we get older.

Oh you’re deaf? WOW! My cousin’s best friend’s brother’s wife’s dentist’s grandma’s best friend was deaf too/do you know them?

I have a friend who’s grandma’s best friend’s daughter’s paediatrician also wore glasses. Do you know them?

Deaf people cannot enjoy music.

Really? Wow. I guess I really wasted my time downloading all those showtunes. Thanks for informing me of this fact. Oh and just so you know; I CAN hear music with the aid of my cochlear implant, and I LOVE musical theatre! There are also deaf people who have no hearing aids at all, and can enjoy music by feeling the beats. Music has no limits. Unlike your brain.

Deaf people cannot/shouldn’t drive, it’s too dangerous.

I passed my theory and practical driving tests first time. Now I have been driving for 13 years, and I have no insurance claims. But yeah, I guess it’s too dangerous. We might not SEE another car coming towards us. We might not SEE an ambulance in the rear-view. We might not SEE pedestrians crossing the road. 

As a parting note: please do not be afraid to ask us deaf people questions; asking us questions does help to raise awareness. Just remember that some questions and statements can be derogatory or offensive. I believe that you can educate through humour, which is why I have made this blog post.

Also, please do remember that deafness is not black and white; no two deaf people are the same, so please, please do not make assumptions.

Instead:

DO: ask us how we wish to communicate.
DO: treat us like you would any other human being. We are human too!
DO: be patient!! Sometimes we may ask you to repeat yourselves, especially if we are tired/emotional/drunk/busy and may not understand you the first time.
DO: include us in conversation.

DON’T: tell us what we shouldn’t/cannot do. We are the judges of what we can and can’t do. Just because one deaf person does something a specific way doesn’t mean we all do.
DON’T: exaggerate with your speech and hand gestures.
DON’T: say “it doesn’t matter” or “never mind”
NEVER: say “I’m so sorry you’re deaf”

Hope you got a little laugh out of this blog post. Thanks for reading!

Jennifer is an actress, BSL sign singer, writer and cat lover. Can usually be found in the theatre. She tells really really bad jokes and thinks they’re absolutely hilarious.

Jennifer tweets @JenzyFrenzy1