Tyron Woolfe: My Bolivian step parents – 5 months on (with BSL)

Tyron is sharing a number of reflective blogs on Limping Chicken about the people he met and what he learned in Latin America.  Tyron has been travelling Latin America and returns from 7 months away in March.

It was a terrible night’s sleep in Copacabana, Bolivia.  I struggled with my breathing and kept feeling very hazy, I remember hastily going into a medical centre, worried about the costs that I may have to face but knowing it was important to be seen and assessed. I had to miss a trip to an island and felt really alone.

Watch Tyron signing his article below, or scroll down to continue in English.

Whilst I had some phone contact with friends and family, I badly needed a hug. There were two doctors in the medical centre and they were rather surprised to see me blubbering whilst they were assessing me.  

They told me I lacked sufficient oxygen; moderate altitude sickness. To my astonishment they gave me a hug and some tissues to dry my emotional tears.  I then had to stay for 5 hours getting my oxygen levels improved and then made it to my bus to La Paz.

Before arriving into Bolivia I was put in touch with Charlie, who lives in La Paz and is known as one of its strong leaders in the deaf community.  

Charlie had confirmed that I’d be staying at his family home with his parents. I remember asking him if his family could sign. He smiled, telling me they were all sordo (deaf).  I then returned the smile and told him about my family – 8 generations of deaf people.  I felt there was an angel watching over me.

When I arrived into La Paz, it had been raining that evening but thankfully stopped.  I was wrapped up warm, I still felt rather emotional from the day’s ordeal.

The bus guide was very helpful, he put me into a taxi and told the driver the address.  We reached the road of the Goytias, and searched high and low for door number 383. The ascending order of even and odd numbers didn’t make sense, and I was very tired.  

I remember seeing an elderly guy down the hill with a great mane of grey hair hovering, and the driver approaching him. Just watching his hand move to say he was sordo put a smile on my face.  I felt like I’d reached “home” in a way. It was Charlie’s father.

I got my stuff and walked to greet him and he was very welcoming.  He took me upstairs to their huge flat. There was so much barking, 3 beautiful dogs related to each other in different ways; two were half-sisters, whilst one was the mother of only one of the sisters.

I was quickly introduced to the rest of the family, with the typical affectionate hug/kiss with each individual.  I kind of collapsed at their invitation to sit on their numerous sofas. They had 7 sofas! They all enquired after me, having seen a photo of me earlier from Charlie when I was in the medical centre looking somewhat like Antony Hopkins in Silence of the Lambs with those tubes.

Norma, Charlie’s mother, got all motherly with me, giving me advice and telling me what I needed to do.  Isabel, the sister, chatted to me for quite a while asking me questions about my plans etc. Charlie was busy settling back from college, he attends every evening after working in the day. And Roberto was busying himself with various fixtures to prepare my room, he was setting up a lampshade for me and reminded me of my Dad.

I recall being rather surprised by the amount of American Sign Language used by them, I learned that this was because ASL used to be strongly used in Bolivia but also because the Goytias have family in America and lived in America for 5 years.  

Time goes quickly and whilst we had a lot to learn about each other, my eyelids were drooping, it had been a long day and I could see they were also wanting to go to bed too. It was midnight, we all retired quickly.

As I got into my bed, I found this rather huge lump in my sheets, I was a little puzzled, only to find a hot water bottle.  It was the most sweetest “Motherly” thing to have happened to me since leaving the UK.

I felt snug, cared for, worried for and I started to think of my parents who were rather worried about me given my medical treatment today. I sent them a photo of my cosy bed and also the apartment and the family.  I knew they were fast asleep but I knew my Dad would wake in the middle of the night and see the pictures which would help them feel much reassured.

The next morning Charlie and his girlfriend went to work.  I remember feeling really snug and homely as I woke up. I sat at the dining table with the traditional Bolivian continental breakfast of large breads and marmalade given to me by Roberto. The coffee was surprisingly instant, I was expecting fresh ground Bolivian coffee.  

Roberto and I chatted about some of his life experiences, and then my parents called via facetime – the wifi was finally so good.  The introductions with my deaf parents and my Bolivian step deaf parents got underway nicely. My parents were so relieved.

The conversations continued as per deaf culture, talking about Deaf chess, deaf families and our shared history in having Spanish ancestry.  It was just so nice to have a morning like this, after quite a few weeks in Peru waking quite lonely and trying to mix with other travellers with not much success. A classic “You have to be deaf to understand”.

Norma joined us and we got talking about my health and the four of them have this immediate understanding between them, that I needed to improve and that I needed to rest more. I felt like a care package had been agreed between them!

After some more facetime chats with other concerned friends in the UK, I asked to accompany Roberto to the local supermarket to get items for lunch.  I wanted to see what was around.

We chatted the entire journey, about 10mins walk, and fell over several gaps in the pavement! In the supermarket Roberto told me what he loved drinking in the alcohol aisle, some Bolivian drink that I think was a type of vodka.  Whilst he weighed up some vegetables I sneaked back to the aisle and got a bottle for him.

Roberto was a kind guy, he had met so many deaf people from all over the world.  His house, like my parents, has had deaf visitors from so many different countries. He was a bit of a comedian and made me laugh quite a few times.  

Whilst Norma focused on cooking lunch, I relaxed with their 3 dogs.  It was nice to take a break and look ahead to travel plans, read blogs about where people have been in Bolivia and develop some ideas.  I remember sharing some of these ideas with Roberto who had lots of advice and has been to plenty places. It became clear the Goytias have friends all over Bolivia which would prove helpful.

Charlie and his girlfriend returned for lunch and we all got talking away, conversing about so many things.  Charlie and I shared names of people we knew and realised just how small this world is. He went to primary school in Gallaudet with Nyle De Marco! I show him photo of Nyle at my home, such a memorable laugh!

Later on Charlie and I went into town and had a coffee followed with sorting a Bolivian phone number out temporarily.  The fact that his girlfriend worked in the phone shop was a huge perk!

We returned for high tea, a traditional part of the Bolivian day and then Charlie got ready for college.  I had already decided to stay in with his parents. I needed to rest a lot more.

As soon as we were sat on the sofa it became clear to me I wasn’t going to catch any shut-eye. Both my Bolivian deaf step parents were right next to me, as well as 3 hyperactive dogs.  The conversation turned from Roberto telling me about his 5 sisters, his parents and how his Mum died when he was only 14 years old.

The animation, expression, detail and the pace was just so typical deaf story-telling.  I listened actively and then later somewhat passively. He had plenty to say, so much detail.

Norma then approached me, her light blue cardigan around her affectionate self, she always had her phone next to her to chat with her deaf sister and friends when they called.  

She turned to me and asks me how I knew I was gay and what my coming out experience was. This was so unexpected but it was good that she felt she could ask. We talked for a long time.  

She summarised a lot of what I told her to Roberto, and then Roberto then went off on a long tangent about his experiences of meeting gay deaf people all over South America and when they were living in Gallaudet.  It was quite amusing, I felt like both of them were telling me indirectly that it was totally fine with them, that they understood and didn’t care. I was both touched and reassured.

Both Norma and Roberto were born in Bolivia.  They travelled South America for their honeymoon after getting married in Bolivia, wanting to enrich their minds, find work and see what opportunity was out there.  They found themselves in Venzuela and wanting to stay longer, learning so much after years of poor education.

The evening stretched out with lots of conversations and memories. I felt so welcomed into the family unit with their stories, the cultural laughs and experiences.  My brain was feeling rather tight with the intake of so much information using International and American sign language. By 11pm I was zonked and headed to bed.

On my third day I spent most of the day alone, exploring the city and riding the wonderful Teleferico (an amazing network of cable cars).  I came back to find that my laundry had been done, and also received an immediate stream of advice related to my health.

I’d had quite a bit of diahorrea.  Norma got my yoghurt tub from the fridge and wagged her finger at me, telling me I needed to avoid all contact with milk. Roberto joined the scolding act and brought some dry food for me alongside some maize-related warm food to help my symptoms.  They were just so caring and wise from years of parental experience. They also knew I was feeling somewhat vulnerable and needed parenting/mothering whatever you call it.

The hot water bottle was already being made up without me asking.

I remember feeling truly blessed to have them as my step-parents for the duration of my stay in La Paz.  It was so good that I overstayed my stay from 4 nights to 10! I had many laughs with them. I remember heading on to Santa Cruz with Charlie and reluctantly saying fond farewells to Norma and Roberto, it was sad for me.

If I ever come across solo travellers in London I will definitely offer the care and support I got from the Goytia family.  It is important to open your doors and give that bit of TLC to people who will need it in various quantities.

Tyron is travelling the Americas until his money runs out. Part of the opportunity whilst travelling includes developing some of his writing skills and his blog has been recently shared with his friends and wider.

Tyron is in his early 40s and loves a good laugh and cuddle with friends and family. He has worked for over 20 years with deaf children and young people. He is keeping an eye out for his next career move whilst travelling. His travel writing focuses on the people he has met whilst travelling rather than about the places he has seen.