Deafie Blogger: This Mothers Day, let’s hear it for the mothers of deaf children

Here’s to the Mums!

This Mother’s Day is the perfect time to reflect on the love, care and support that our Mums, Mothers-in-Law and other inspirational women have given us in our lives.

We hear stories on the news of Mums fighting for support for their deaf child, campaigning for accessibility and so on, but not many tributes that recognise everything that they do for us… so for this blog, here’s to the Mums!

Mum helped me become the woman I am today

I’d say if it wasn’t for my incredible Mum, I perhaps wouldn’t be the strong, confident, dedicated, hard-working person I am today, and for that I’m truly grateful.

It didn’t come easy of course, with my profound hearing loss diagnosed at 9 months old, with no family history of deafness, it must’ve been a difficult time for my parents.  I am thankful for the fundamental support from my Teacher of the Deaf and constant hard-work that my Mum put in, has been the root of my success today.

She taught me to speak, guided me through mainstream education with all the pitfalls there were, through GCSEs and A levels, finding and maintaining work and with all my blogging and campaign work, she is one of my biggest fans.

She’s always there

It is hard to pinpoint specific examples of the help she’s given me over the years, as she’s always been there and I can talk to her about anything, whatever the situation. We have a brilliant relationship.

Now I’m an adult, I need as much support as ever because adult issues are more complicated. Whether it’s a banking problem, or helping me to understand an email or looking over a letter I’ve received, she’s always in the background helping out. She’s almost my unpaid PA! Written information can be just as difficult as verbal communication to sift through, she can save me time by cutting through the waffle and long words!

Mum is also good at helping me prioritise and not to get too stressed. Being deaf is hard in the respect that the world, relationships, understanding everything which is thrown at you and it helps to have that person who can help. It’s definitely a team effort. Sometimes when you feel bombarded with facts, figures, problems and the complexities of the English Language, you almost need someone to simplify it all for you. I sometimes find that issues are not as complicated as I first believe. As she is hearing, she can often see things I can’t, as strange as that might sound.

I would definitely advocate sharing problems with others to help you manage the load. It is so important with regards to good mental health and wellbeing.

Bringing out the best in me

My Mum always encouraged me to try my best, as that’s all you can do, you can’t please everyone. Difficult experiences might be hard at the time, life is sometimes tough, but there are always ways around things.

I remember hard times at school and work when I experienced discrimination and intolerance because of my deafness. At the time, the problems seemed undefeatable, but together we worked through them. She motivated me to rise above discrimination, and to prove others wrong and educate them to help make the world a better, more understanding place.

Most importantly, she inspired me to fight for things that I believe in, as if we don’t make a change, no one will.

Looking on the lighter side of life

Mum has been there through thick and thin, sharing in the lows and the highs. One of the most valuable things we share is our sense of humour and how we can sometimes laugh at the disability, this is so important.

Her favourite story is of a long, two day drive to Austria for our holiday when I was aged 6-7. I’d just discovered the joy of music and played ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’ back to back on repeat in the car the whole way there and back! My poor family were exposed to me joining in, in glorious monotone when I attempted to sing! She’ll never let me forget it!

To finish, here are some caring tips for Mums…

Know your limits

There’s only so much a person can do, before they reach their limit. It’s important to know where yours lie.

It’s ok to ask for help

Some situations can be hard, but there is support out there, through organisations, Facebook groups, local centres and much more. There’s always someone to talk to, please don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Take time out for yourself

Most importantly, take time out for yourself! Be it watching TV, having a Spa Treatment, or dinner out with friends. It’s good to try and maintain a work-life-care balance.

And… Let us say Thank You!

Everything you do is incredible, thank you for being there for us!

Ellie (Deafie Blogger)

Deafie Blogger, aka Ellie, was born profoundly deaf, uses verbal communication, lipreads and wears Phonak hearing aids. Ellie embraces every new challenge; working as a Marketing Executive for a Spa & Health Club and blogging for Hearing Like Me and British Deaf News. She is passionate about deaf awareness, campaigning for equality and helping others through her personal blog as Deafie Blogger.

You can follow her on social media via @deafieblogger