I lost the hearing in my left ear through sudden hearing loss in August 2016. There wasn’t a known cause for my hearing loss, I wasn’t feeling ill and I didn’t have an infection. One day the world to the left of me just fell into silence. The hearing loss was profound which means I have no functional hearing in my left ear, and for just over two and a half years I have been living my life with single-sided deafness (SSD).
People with SSD are able to hear through their ‘good’ ear, yet have a profound hearing loss in their other. I am thankful that I am able to hear with my right ear, yet living with SSD comes with its challenges.
Sound localisation is a skill enabled by having two working ears, and so with only one hearing ear, I have no idea where sound is coming from. I might hear some music or a noise, but I don’t know which way to look to see what has produced the sound. Trying to find a mobile phone that is ringing results in me wandering hopelessly around my apartment with my ‘good’ ear leading the way and looking to see if I can spot it, usually ending up back where I started and realising the phone had been next to me all along. Locating a music source is also a challenge. There was one occasion where I was walking in the centre of Madrid, where I live, and I could hear a busker playing the guitar and singing a Bob Marley song. Whilst gazing around to see if I could find the owner of the interesting staccato-type singing I stopped in my tracks with a jump as I almost fell over the person responsible; who was positioned in my path, undetected by my gazing view and lack of directional hearing.
Thinking that all sounds are coming from my right has resulted in some scary instances when crossing roads when I haven’t realised traffic is approaching from my deaf side. It has also resulted in some, in hindsight, comical moments. One day, I was sitting on a seat at the end of a row of seats, on the metro train. I thought that I could hear someone playing the accordion somewhere far down to the right of the train. I was feeling relaxed, and as I tried to focus on the tune that was being played, I saw the woman opposite looking at something next to me. I turned to my left, to where she was looking, only for me to jump up in my seat as I let out a little yelp; startled to see the accordion player was actually standing right next to me, on my deaf side.
My boyfriend automatically walks on my right-hand ‘good’ side where he knows I will hear him. This prevents me from having to continuously turn to face him with my ‘good’ ear, in attempts to catch some snippets of conversation. With friends, who often forget which is my hearing side, or for those who don’t consider it, I place myself on their left. When they inadvertently change sides whilst crossing a road or when they stop to look at something in a shop window, I find myself dancing around them; trying to position myself as quickly as possible back on their left side.
When I’m on my own in everyday places and situations I sometimes feel vulnerable. I worry about crossing the road, and not knowing which direction to move out of the way when I hear the siren of an emergency vehicle. I worry about strangers talking to me, and not being able to hear them, or even worse failing to acknowledge them; if they have addressed me on my deaf side. I unwittingly ignore people to the left of me and often notice a frown on a stranger’s face, presumably because I have failed to respond to them or to move out of their way. I find myself constantly scanning my surroundings; checking people’s faces to see if they show any sign or clue that they are speaking to me.
With single-sided deafness, I find it difficult to hear when there are other noises present. Our brains are responsible for selective listening, which is more challenging without the help of a second ear. In a noisy environment, it is difficult to focus on a single person’s voice. Socialising can be demanding amongst background noise. In restaurants and bars I have learnt to sit in a corner, or with my deaf ear against a wall and my hearing ear facing the person I am speaking to, in order to have some chance at hearing them in conversation. I have learnt that it is only possible to concentrate on listening to one person at a time.
With my single-sided deafness has come tiredness, frustration, loneliness within groups of friends in conversation, and super-sensitivity and hyper-reactivity; meaning I am startled easily by unpredictable or sudden noises. I also have difficulty multitasking and find it hard to perform another task while listening.
Yet, I have found that being able to see some humour and positives, however small, in some of the situations I find myself in, can help me stay positive. For instance, with single-sided deafness, I can block out sound during the night or when having a nap, just by putting my ‘good’ ear to the pillow. I only need to use one earphone when listening to music, and if there is someone I don’t want to listen to, I can make sure they are sitting on my deaf side.
If you or someone you know is also living with SSD, I’d love to hear from you. Please feel free to leave a comment and share some of your experiences.
Carly Sygrove is a British teacher and hearing loss blogger who lives in Madrid with her boyfriend. She loves spending time with her sister, walking in the countryside, getting lost in Madrid, her boyfriend, travelling, going out for breakfast, her family and friends, taking photos, listening to music, storytelling podcasts, baking, running, drinking wine, and eating spicy food.
In 2016 she experienced profound sudden sensorineural hearing loss in her left ear. She started a blog as a way of sharing her experiences about this type of hearing loss, and the way it can affect everyday life.
Sonia Sanchez
June 7, 2019
You’ve perfectly described my life. I’ve been dealing with this since I was a toddler but not diagnosed until primary school. I don’t think it gets any easier but you learn coping mechanisms. Thank you for sharing your story.
myhearinglossstory
June 7, 2019
Hi Sonia,
Thank you for your comment 🙂
I am glad I was able to describe your life with single-sided deafness.
You are right, I feel like am constantly learning new coping mechanisms,
Best of wishes
Carly
pennybsl
June 8, 2019
Thank you for sharing this – because we Educators have to battle with schools, audiologists, local authorities, whatever, that people with one-sided deafness have the same need as ‘two-sided’ deafness.
The complacency of the “hearing world”, especially professionals, needs to be challenged and shaken before more ‘one-sided’ casualties increase.
myhearinglossstory
June 10, 2019
Hello Penny,
Thank you for your comment.
I agree, I feel that single-sided deafness can be overlooked and often misunderstood.
Emma
June 9, 2019
I lost mine 10 years ago. I felt bereft for a while, and still hate not knowing where sounds come from-playing hide and seek with a toddler was exceptionally challenging, as was having a three year old running off and hiding in a car park. I could hear her giggling, but had no idea where she was.
Working in a classroom is hard, you don’t know which kid is shouting for your attention, and when one of my own kids shouts for help, or worse, I can’t tell which room they’re in.
Walking to and from school with two kids is a challenge too. Both want to tell you things, but only one side allows their voice to rise above the road noise, so the girls have to take turns to tell me their news. In the car, I only hear with my ear facing the drivers window, so hearing a passenger is difficult. Skiing has become a casualty. Not knowing whether the super fast skier behind me is going to pass me on my left or right side is actually really scary. I’ve had a few near misses where I’ve instinctively gone the wrong way.
One of the cruelest side effects is that I hate the sound of people eating, and my own eating is so much louder now. (It hasn’t stopped me enjoying food though 😉
But you’re right. I can ‘turn off’ my husband’s snoring, or noisy cats by sleeping on my good side. And singing in a band- I can hear myself better. Small, but shiny silver linings to this big dark cloud.
myhearinglossstory
June 10, 2019
Hi Emma,
Thank you for commenting and sharing your experiences.
I also felt bereft after my hearing loss and had to grieve this loss. Did you also lose your hearing through sudden hearing loss?
I can completely empathise with you when you talk about your experiences with children. In the classroom it is frustrating when someone has spoken and you don’t know which way to turn to face them – and children are always moving!
It’s great that your girls understand that they need to take turns to speak to you – this is something I wish more children were encouraged to do – taking turns and listening to each other doesn’t often come naturally to children 😉
When I first lost my hearing, I couldn’t bear the sound of eating food like crunchy bread or crisps – the noise this seemed to be making inside my head was overwhelmingly loud! Now, I only notice it when I think about it – it’s still there – but, like you, it hasn’t stopped me eating crunchy food!
Take care,
Carly
Angela
June 10, 2019
Thank you for sharing. You have perfectly described the multiple challenges of single sided deafness that I too experience as a result of being diagnosed with acoustic neuroma in 2003. Since then I feel I have been struggling to live a normal life and sometimes it’s really difficult. I get very tired and feel isolated in social situations because I can’t hear. It’s becoming difficult to hear people at work too.
myhearinglossstory
June 10, 2019
Hi Angela,
Thank you for your comment.
I’m glad I have been able to describe the challenges you also experience. It can sometimes be difficult to explain to others how single-sided deafness really impacts on life…
I found it helped a little to tell people at work about the main issues that I may find difficult and also giving them a few tips about ways to help enable more effective communication – reminding them to face me when talking to me, and not to approach from my deaf side, for example. People will forget, but most will try to be understanding and helpful. I hope you have a caring and supportive work environment.
Living with SSD can be difficult and very tiring – I find it’s such an effort to listen and maintain attention in conversation especially when there is background noise.
I hope you have support of friends and/or family in dealing with the SSD and also with the acoustic neuroma.
Wishing you all the best
Take care,
Carly