Michael Fahey: Further perils of a hospital appointment when you’re deaf

Y’know when you have one of those days when you just think “To heck with it!” I can’t be bothered anymore?

I seem to be collecting them lately… just like others collect postcards or stamps, I collect days from the other side of hell!

 I am not going to go though it with you lot but when I think about what we put up with simply because we can’t hear very well… I am surprised that many of us live to a ripe old age!

A simple trip for a heart check up to my local hospital should have been an “in and out “ job all done in an hour at the most. Started brilliant, arrived 15 minutes early found parking spot close to the door… left it till last minute and paid £2.20 for 2 hours parking (just in case there was delays) Got in there, no queue, no delays, gave receptionist appointment letter (This saves questions you don’t hear half the time)

The lady says Blah Blah blahdy blah…

I say Pardon? (yes I have good manners!)

Your appointment is at the other branch of the hospital (a mile away) she says.

No… it’s not, I always come here.  Says me.

The Doctor can’t make it here today Blah blah blah.. Should I phone them up…blah blah.. tell them you’re on the way? She asks.

Flipping heck! Go on then!

Run to car and drive to the other branch, not too bad 5 minutes late, But! The car park was jam packed full…ride round for a minute… no chance.

Drive half a mile down the road to find a parking spot walk back, not too bad 15minutes late…walk in to reception… Jammed with people! I say to the reception I’m Deaf I won’t hear when you call my name …No problem I’ll tell them and I’ll write on your notes… Hah I thought! Been here before haven’t we?

25 minutes of stressful watching on FULL alert every time the nurse came out with a lovely fixed smile on her bored witless face “ MR Whatsit please?… MRS Walks-slowlywithstick Please?  MR Flatcap Please?

Struggling to see her lips… she knows I’m watching her, but she thinks I eyeball her so fiercely cos I’m Mr Whatsit or even Mrs Walks-Slowlywithstick, finally I see my name called and walk forward. I can tell she’s talking to me as I watch her back walking down the corridor.

Excuse me I’m profoundly deaf I need to see your face to lipread….

Oh Right… Ok… Points to room…go in there.

Wait for Doctor… “Blah blah blah”…. “Sorry I can’t understand” Embarrassed at being unable to manage.

Finally I get the gist as he asked me what I know about my condition…nodding all the while.  “Very Good… Drink lots of water. Bye Bye.”

Pish!!

Mike is a semi retired Fine artist working from his Home studio in Lancashire. He attended University as a mature student, gaining his BA and a Masters degree in Fine Art. He displays his work in exhibitions around the UK and abroad.  As a profoundly deaf lip reader, he is just one of a large family with a genetic history of deafness. Mike is married to Sara (who is hearing) and is father to a son Jonathan (hearing) and a daughter Katherine (deaf on one side) In October 2014 Mike underwent surgery to have a Cochlear implant fitted and is presently enjoying learning to hear again. The implant has been good for him, but, as he is constantly reminding people, he still considers himself a profoundly deaf lip reader… “The CI is really good and certain people think it’s a miracle cure for deafness but no… I still need to focus really hard on lip reading and communication in daily life… and when I take the processor off… its quite a blissful sensation, the quietness.”