“He was still a real person with a life.” Widow of deaf man mourns his loss to Covid-19

To donate to deafPLUS in Stuart’s name, click here.

The widow of Stuart Clark, a deaf man who had Covid-19 listed as a cause of death on his death certificate, has spoken of the agony of her loss, and paid tribute to her late husband while committing to fundraising in his name.

Fay Russell-Clark is also contemplating taking legal action against the hospital where he passed away, aged 50, on April 5, alleging that he may have been neglected because of his deafness and other underlying health issues.

Russell-Clark first met her husband Stuart through an online fan forum celebrating the BBC comedy Only Fools and Horses, back in 2002 when she was a young mum working part-time at a dry cleaner’s in north London. He was living in Braintree, Essex, and working as an engineer.

“We were both massive fans of the show – we practically knew every word of every episode – so it brought us together, and it was so familiar as I’m from a similar area of London to Del Boy and co,” explains Fay, who studied Performing Arts at college.

“Stuart was basically the star of the forum and its funniest member. When I eventually met him it was like meeting a celebrity! We chatted online privately and I first met him in 2004 when the forum had a real-life meeting in New Cross.  He was shy, and didn’t seem my type at all at first.

“Then we met on our own, that Christmas Eve he emailed to say he loved me, and that was it. We hadn’t been apart ever since.”

The couple also shared a mutual love of the Beatles, and in 2005, and Stuart proposed in Liverpool’s famous Cavern Club. The group’s song Something was the first dance at their wedding a year later.

“When Stuart proposed, he basically got down on one knee, told me to ‘shut up for a minute’ and asked me to marry him!”

Committed West Ham supporter Stuart and Fay each had a child each from previous relationships – his daughter Megan and her son Alfie, now both 21, were born just six months apart. “We may not have been a conventional family, but we were certainly a happy one.”

Together there were many holidays, including to Cape Verde off the west coast of Africa in the Atlantic, as recently as February, where the above photo was taken. Fay was also able to go with her husband to see the new West Ham stadium and watch a game there.

“He was the funniest person ever, and had a joke for every occasion. He was so quick-witted with a real gift for taking the mickey out of himself. He was also incredibly brave.”

That humour and courage would be sorely needed and tested – Stuart had battled health issues for many years, and had Neurofibromatosis Type 2, which left him needing to use a wheelchair, partially sighted and with dexterity problems.

He had been deaf for the last 10 years, and for a year used a cochlear implant fitted in 2012. (It was fully removed in 2017 due to a tumour)

“Although we can never be sure, we’re pretty confident antibiotics may have been behind the hearing loss. I had to be his ears when he was in hospital. Yes, it was hard. But he just laughed about his deafness, and so I laughed, too.

“He wasn’t really part of the deaf community as such, and didn’t sign, so communication could certainly be challenging at times.”

Stuart had to be medically retired from his job as a service engineer, where he’d worked for more than two decades. Having started off volunteering with the charity deafPLUS in Bromley, he became a paid part-time staff member of the organisation’s HR team.

Fay is now raising money for deafPLUS (click here to donate) in her late husband’s memory and to date has raised nearly £1,300, with comments on the JustGiving page from family members and others describing Stuart as ‘brave, witty, funny and inspirational’.

Chatting to Fay over Facebook, you get some sense of Stuart’s final 48 hours.

“I’d been calling 111 all week, but they said to keep him at home. When I finally ignored their advice and rang 999, they said he should already have been brought in. I believe he was failed by the whole healthcare system. Had I called 999 earlier, he may still be here.

“He was admitted in the early hours of the Saturday, having struggled to breathe and to eat and desperately tired. I was there when he died at 7am on the Sunday, I refused to leave him even though I was asked to and had a couple of Covid-19 symptoms myself, although I wasn’t tested. I just couldn’t leave him.

“He was in a side-room off a ward. He was not put in critical care, never mind intensive care, and was not put on a ventilator. Because he wasn’t in intensive care, I naively thought he’d be OK. As I said, I had to be his ears – maybe things would have been different.

“But they said if anything happened, they wouldn’t revive him. I told him to fight, but I’m sorry I didn’t fight harder for him myself at the time. It still feels as though something isn’t right, and that his life didn’t matter because of his deafness and other disabilities.

“At the end, we just told each other we loved each other, and that was it; he was gone.”

After Stuart’s death, a doctor called to explain that tests for Covid-19 were negative, but his X-rays showed signs of the disease, and the virus is clearly stated on his death certificate, alongside underlying health problems.

“I don’t actually remember him being tested at the time, but couldn’t really say what any other cause of death could be. I wish I’d kicked up more of a fuss at the time, but just wanted to lay my husband to rest. It was hard to find a funeral director who would let me see him and dress him in his own clothes, although eventually I did. I was able to go and see him for a last time at the chapel of rest.”

A funeral with 10 mourners will be held on May 5, and Fay says she was lucky to find a crematorium willing to organise it. She plans a bigger memorial later in the year, adding that Stuart had many deaf friends who she wants to invite. She is also contemplating what action to take, if any against the hospital where she lost her husband.

“Looking back – how dare they? I felt as though they were just looking at him on paper – but he was still a real person with a life, one that was fuller than most people’s. And now we must mourn him, taken from us way too soon.”

To donate to deafPLUS in Stuart’s name, click here.

Photo: Fay Russell-Clark Facebook

Article and interview by Juliet England.