Emily Howlett: What will become of the rainbow children?

I know we’re all supposed to live for today, live in the moment.

It’s something I regularly tell myself, my family and any angry-looking passers-by (from a safe two-metre distance). But, also, as a parent, there has to be a certain amount of looking to the future.

We’re living through something unprecedented right now. And so are our children… 

As an adult, it’s difficult to process what’s happening in the world right now; globally and also in our own little worlds of family, friends and home. It’s no different for the children, the Rainbow Children, filling the windows and pavements and fences with their amazing, endless, multi-coloured works of art.

Every single street I’ve passed recently has pictures, or messages of support, or small challenges chalked along the floor – and that’s not to say every street has children living in it, but that the children have sent their art, and with it their imagination and positivity, to everyone. 

So, when the current situation gets a bit too much, I sometimes find myself wondering about the years to come.

It’s going to take a long, long time to recover some sense of being back where we were before Covid-19. We will have to adjust to a new normal several times before we can truly relax back into society.

Hopefully it’ll be a society that has learned a few lessons, and rediscovered the value of community and kindness. 

But, one day, we will get there. We will reach the next phase of our civilisation, and our children will have continued to grow up through it all. How will they look back on these days, weeks, months, years? 

One thing is for sure, they will have had so, so many varied experiences and memories.

I sometimes imagine my son in a few decades (hopefully still as happy and kind and excited by the world) talking with a child as young as he is now.

Perhaps his own child or grandchild, or a family friend, or maybe even a student of his (although he currently plans to become a professional doughnut seller, so I imagine his students will number into the thousands). 

What will he remember of his time as a Rainbow Child?

I can’t help but wonder what my daughter will make of it all. She’s too young to properly remember this moment, and she’s going to grow up with the new normal (whatever it may be) being the only one she really knows.

Will she be happy with the new world, or will she find it frustrating and, if so, what will that mean for her? Should I keep her tiny rainbow footprints, to remind her that, even though she can’t recall it, she was as much a Rainbow Child as her brother?

I think of my own childhood and, although there wasn’t a global pandemic, there were tough times. In different memories of different circumstances, I can remember shouting, fear, aggression, bullying, anxiety and pain.

But I’m ok with those memories, because they come packaged alongside comfort, cuddles, support, laughter, running through mud barefoot and painting the shed with sunflowers.

I remember the Fred Rogers quote; “Look for the helpers. You will always find the people who are helping.” There are so many helpers visible in the world right now, globally and also in our own little worlds of home.

I hope, in a small way, my children will remember me during this time as someone who helped. This is because I have an enormous ego.

But, in all seriousness, I’d like it if, when they are adults themselves, they can look back and understand why things were strained at times, and why we had to eat rice for six days in a row one week…

I hope they remember that, yes, we shouted a lot and maybe even threw some Lego through the window, but we also laughed and snuggled and sometimes ate things that weren’t rice.

I hope they don’t remember that I didn’t know how to help with their Maths homework or how to make bread, which is meant to be, like, innate or something. I hope they remember who they were and who they are.

The Rainbow Children of The World. I hope nobody writes their stories for them.

I really hope they write their own. 

Emily Howlett is a profoundly Deaf actress, writer and teacher. She makes an awful lot of tea. And mess. She now has not one, but four grey eyebrow hairs. C’est la vie. She tweets as @ehowlett