Kirsteen Allison: The good (or bad?) side of lip reading

When I was younger, I used to get men kissing me a lot.

You may think that’s normal student behaviour. Some of you may think that I am exaggerating. Some many think I was lucky to have so many men interested in me and others may think that the men were being very inappropriate.

The reality, however, was that it was nearly always a misunderstanding related to my deafness.

When I go to busy places such as discos, nightclubs, and parties, I cannot lip read because it tends to be quite dark in the venue.

I cannot hear over the volume of the music playing or people’s voices. So, when people talk to me, I struggle to hear what they are saying. In normal circumstances, the instinct is to lean towards the person and whisper, or shout, in their ear so they can hear you better.

Except in my case, if you do this, I still can’t hear you. Not only that, I can no longer lip read you.

So, when a young man leaned towards my ear, I would always instinctively turn my head towards his. My intention was to see his lips and lip read him better. However, the man always thought I had other intentions.

Yes, that is why I would get men kissing me a lot. They thought I wanted them to.

Picture this. You lean towards a girl to talk to her and suddenly your faces are just inches apart. She’s staring at you intently. Her eyes on your lips. Of course, she’s just begging for you to kiss her!

Great if the guy was super-hot. Not so great if he is twice your age, ugly as sin or has bad breath.

Now that I’m 40, married with a child and too old for nightclubs, that doesn’t happen quite so much. I still don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Kirsteen Allison is a Scottish cochlear implant user who lip reads. She has a hearing dog for deaf people. Kirsteen is an equality adviser, careers adviser and HR adviser. She is a finalist in the Shaw Trust 2020 Disability Power List and is a member of the Academy of Disabled Journalists. She is a long-term volunteer for deaf organisations and advocates for equality in education and employment.