Gaynor Tilby: Writing my novel giving a deaf person’s perspective of working with an assistance hearing dog (BSL)

Holding my published book ‘Partners in Crime’ felt a surreal moment.

It seemed an eternity since I was staring at my blank computer screen with just the title of my book. Ideas swimming around in my head on where to start and the big flipchart paper with all my scribbles of the stories I had brain stormed and committed to paper. Now I had to put some structure to the story to make it flow and make sense.

Lots of self-doubt crept in. After all, who would want to read a story of my assistance hearing dog, Indigo, working alongside me in my role as a probation officer both in the community and prisons? The self -doubt which had crept up again reminded me of the time of growing up as a deaf child in a hearing world. It had not been without many trials, tribulations, and challenges. Classroom bullies at school had left a long legacy that deafness was something I had to hide.

I love reading and belong to a monthly reading group. It was in one of our meets when my glorious band of women friends said ‘Gaynor, have you ever thought about writing a book about your story with Indigo?’ I mused on this question. I realised that there is very little representation of deafness in literature. I was incredibly moved by the public’s reaction to Rose Ayling-Ellis’ amazing dance in Strictly Come Dancing, giving a glimpse of the world of deafness. I wondered if I could do something similar in giving a glimpse of a deaf person’s perspective of working with an assistance hearing dog.

When I left school, I was lucky enough to be accepted in a full-time placement at college to train to be a hairdresser. It was to be a career I enjoyed for over 20 years. During this time, I met my husband, Ralph. He was instrumental in reinforcing to me that deafness was not my fault and was certainly nothing that I needed to keep apologising for, sadly the word ‘sorry’ had become my mantra.

I was aware that there was an unfilled part of me that wanted to make a difference to people’s lives. It was by chance that an advert in the local paper piqued my interest to apply to retrain as a probation officer. Retraining for a new career in my 40s was a revelation and in this career, I had found my calling.

During this time, I felt it was the ideal time to apply for a hearing dog. I had read so much about these amazing dogs alerting the deaf person to sounds around the house that a person could not hear. I had also lost count of the number of times when I had been out in a supermarket not having heard someone. I would see a shop assistant looking angry at me as they had received no response from me, me not having heard them ask a question.

Hearing dogs give visibility to an invisible disability. I was in awe of the work that the charity, Hearing Dogs for Deaf People do to train the dogs to alert their owners to sounds. In 2012 I received the exciting news that a match was found for me. Indigo, a beautiful Labrador Retriever cross. It was an incredible moment meeting him for the first time and then spending time at the training centre learning to work with him.

I understood that for the first time, I no longer needed to face my disability on my own. Indigo provides a positive deaf identity. His personality and charm bring joy to so many people we meet. Working with me both in the community and prisons, he adapted to his work environments and in so many ways became my partner in crime with the people I was working with. These included those who received community and prison sentences. Indigo took it all in his stride and on occasion, instinctively provided comfort to those in distress by gently resting his head on their lap.

Indigo retired in May 2021 and is now putting his paws up. His successor, Velma a bouncy ball of fur, whizzed into my life a few months later. Velma has taken up the reins of a hearing dog and has enabled Indigo to slip in to his well-earned retirement mode.

I decided that I had seen little written about deaf experiences and felt the time was right to write my book. Mapping out all the stories from the past was incredibly painful. As I pulled from memory the experiences, it felt like reliving the moments again. However, it was important to commit them to paper as it enabled the reader to join me on my journey of triumph over disability.

I worked on my book for over a year and I handed over my rough pre-draft to my husband, Ralph. He said ‘It’s a really enjoyable read.’ Once I had amended the suggestions, I handed over my draft to my band of friends from my monthly book group. Their reactions were lovely: ‘You have to get this book out Gaynor, you have an important story to tell here.’

It was imperative I shared my book with the Governor of the prison I work to ensure I had permission to publish. He thanked me and referred my book to the public relations department. They have the role of checking that there was nothing in my book which would be detrimental to the organisation. It was with relief after an anxious few months waiting for them to come back to inform me that I could go ahead and publish my book.

I enlisted the help of Ralph to launch my book as he had previous experience of publishing three books of his own. Pressing submit, I eagerly awaited approval from the Amazon site. A day later, the message arrived in my inbox that my book had been approved. It was a glorious moment, a few days later, holding the finished article in my hand with Indigo sat beside me to complete a photoshoot.

As I posted my book on the hearing dogs for deaf people Facebook page, I informed readers that it was on sale for £9 and that all royalties of my book would be donated to Hearing Dogs for Deaf People. It is my way of paying back the wonderful gift I have received of both of my hearing dogs. I realised that it is one thing having friends tell you they enjoyed my book but quite another when strangers say the same. I need not have worried. So many people have told me they were moved by the book and that it made them both laugh and cry. A local bookshop also approached me and asked if I would be prepared to sell some books in their shop. It is all rather surreal and very exciting as someone in her 50s. It is everything I had hoped to achieve, my published book, my story.

By Gaynor Tilby

By Partners in Crime here: https://amzn.eu/d/3bns2lU