Charlie Swinbourne: 12 tips for including deaf people at Christmas! (BSL)

For us deaf people, Christmas can mean feeling left out, even as everyone around us seems to be having a wonderful time.

Christmas dinner, carol singing, the King’s speech on telly, young children, combined with too much alcohol can make Christmas a very un-deaf friendly day indeed.

But never fear, a bit of deaf awareness and preparation can make all the difference.

Without further ado, here is my list of festive tips (with some amateur illustrations!) to help deaf people feel included at Christmas!

BEFORE CHRISTMAS 

1. Brush up on your signing skills

If your deaf relative is a sign language user, flex those fingers and polish up your BSL skills in advance of their visit.

If you’ve never learned BSL then (after hanging your head in shame) check out courses near you or online courses (via companies such as Signworld).

If you’re simply out of practice, meet up with deaf friends a few weeks beforehand to improve your skills.

If you don’t have any deaf friends, then (after hanging your head in shame again), refresh those key BSL signs using online dictionaries such as BSL SignBank, and watch some deaf TV programmes such as those on the BSL Zone website.

At the very minimum, brush up on the fingerspelling alphabet – so you can spell literally any words you get stuck on – such as ‘Baileys’, ‘Quality Street’ or ‘hungover.’

2. Buy (or borrow) a round table

I’ve got nothing against rectangular tables per se – although their sharp edges can be lethal for small kids, not forgetting, after a few sherries, for adults.

But for deaf people, rectangular tables make it hard to see everyone, which has a knock-on effect on communication.

Round tables, meanwhile, give us a 360 degree view, and make it far easier to lipread everyone sitting around the table.

We think this round table is perfect. Just kidding.

3. Shave (your face)

Everyone loves Father Christmas, right?

Well, yes. But deaf children who visit Father Christmas are often underwhelmed, because his bushy beard obscures everything he says and makes lipreading impossible.

Don’t make the mistake Santa made.

Have a shave.

Or, failing that, a trim.

Around the mouth area.

It’ll grow back.

Promise.

4. Give the kids a pep talk

Children get very lively at Christmas, due to lack of sleep on Christmas Eve, a mountain of presents to open, and way too much chocolate.

So it’s worth mentioning some deaf awareness tips to them a few days before Christmas.

Something like: “Uncle Jim needs to be able to see your lips to understand you, so can you try to look at him when you’re talking to him?”

You could mention that Father Christmas is watching (always), just to add a sense of jeopardy to the whole thing…

DURING CHRISTMAS

5. Speak clearly and face us

Now the party’s started, remember this maxim:

If we can’t see you, we can’t hear you.

At Christmas there’s so many times you might be looking away. When you’re slaving over the stove, or opening presents, or talking to numerous relatives for example.

So remember, when we’re around, look up, only start talking when you’ve got our attention (with a wave or a tap on the shoulder if necessary), and then maintain eye contact.

Most important of all: be prepared to repeat yourself when we still don’t understand.

Without a flicker of annoyance crossing your face.

We notice that kind of thing.

And we remember.

6. Give us CONTEXT

Maybe you’re halfway through an anecdote.

Maybe you’re making a comment on the TV programme that you’re watching.

Or your neighbour has popped in to wish you Merry Christmas.

Whatever it is, when your deaf relative looks in your direction, or arrives in the room while you’re talking, do this one simple thing:

Give them some context – a brief summary of what you’re talking about.

“Dan’s sister kissed her boss at the work Christmas party!”

“Jean’s getting worked up about Meghan Markle again.”

“The King’s Christmas message wasn’t as good as the Queen’s used to be.”

Stuff like that.

We may not want to join in, but you’re giving us the option – and we appreciate that more than you could know.

7. Turn the subtitles on

Christmas telly is great, isn’t it?

Well, it is if you can understand it. And for that, most deaf people use subtitles.

So first, hearing friends, prepare. Before your deaf relative comes, work out how to turn on the subtitles on your TV. It can be fiddly, but you’ll get there in an hour or so, with a bit of luck.

It’ll save us the hassle, and it’s a double win, because it also shows you thought of us before we even arrived.

8. Give us a role

I’m incredibly lazy when it comes to helping out at Christmas.

But despite that, I appreciate being given a role at Christmas time.

Whether it’s making the bread sauce, pouring wine, or just making the odd cuppa – while other people sweat buckets in the kitchen making pigs in blankets, obviously – it makes me feel like I’m part of it.

And that’s better than the alternative.

9. Play a game

Playing a game means we can concentrate on giving you a good thrashing at Risk or Monopoly, while getting a break from lipreading the exact detail of why you got that reprimand at work last month.

If there’s a lot of relatives staying, it can also really break the ice.

As long as they’re comfortable with getting beat by a Deafie, obviously.

10. Go easy on the dimmer switch

We all like a bit of ambience, don’t get me wrong.

But there’s a limit.

For, as the lights go down, us deaf folk find it just that bit harder to lipread.

This is why some deaf people go to bed at 8pm on Christmas Day. (Well, that, and, ahem, overconsumption.)

So dim those lights if you have to, but only a tiny, tiny bit. And maybe check with us first.

11. Go slow on the drinks

Christmas and alcohol are indelibly linked. And us deaf folk don’t want to be party poopers (we’ll probably be a drink or two ahead of you anyway).

But please remember that as the bubbly flows, it’s very easy to find your deaf awareness skills flowing away, too.

Plus, you get really hard to lipread when you’re slurring your words.

12. Make phone calls deaf-friendly

It’s great when far-away relatives phone on Christmas Day, but if you ask them to call on video, using Zoom or FaceTime for example, your deaf relative will be able to see them, give them a wave, and join in.

Though if it’s an annoying relative, please do ask them to use the phone.

Not that we’re taking advantage of our deafness or anything, you understand.

AFTER CHRISTMAS…

13. Remember, deaf awareness is not just for Christmas, it’s for life

This is the most important tip of all.

Deaf awareness tips are for all year round.

So keep using them, even when it’s not Yuletide.

And there we go. Have a very Merry deaf-friendly Christmas!

Charlie Swinbourne is the editor of Limping Chicken and is also a photographer. Check out his photography work here.