Elisa Nuevo Vallin: When silence isn’t so silent: A lesson from my Deaf mum (BSL)

The other day, I went for a nice walk with my profoundly deaf parents through a quiet, calm village. The sun was setting, casting a soft golden light over the cobblestone streets. There was hardly any noise—just the gentle rustling of leaves and the light crunch of our footsteps. It felt like something out of a film. Then, my mum turned to me with a content smile and signed, “I love the silence here.”

Now, let’s pause for a moment and appreciate the irony. My mom, who has been profoundly deaf her entire life, was complimenting the silence. I had to chuckle. I mean, isn’t every place “silent” when you’re deaf? But as funny as it was, her comment got me thinking about what silence means for someone who doesn’t hear.

You see, for deaf people, silence isn’t just about not hearing sound. It’s also about a break from the busy, visual world. When you’re deaf, you don’t rely on sound to know what’s happening around you—you rely on your eyes. You’re always watching, always scanning the environment, piecing together what’s going on through what you can see. This is what we call “visual listening”, and trust me, it can be very tiring. Learn about Listening Fatigue, what it is and how to combat it.

On a normal day, my parents are constantly on alert, reading body language, watching lips, and being hyper-aware of what’s happening around them. It’s like playing “Where’s Wally?” all day, every day, trying to find clues to understand the world. So when my mum said she liked the silence, she wasn’t just talking about the lack of sound. She was talking about the peace and calm of not having to work so hard to “listen” visually.

In that quiet village, with its slow pace and few distractions, my parents didn’t have to be on guard all the time. They could just relax, without constantly processing visual information. For them, that was true silence—a rare and special thing.

It’s a reminder that silence isn’t just for the ears. For deaf people, it’s also about finding a quiet space for the eyes and the mind. And in our loud, hectic world, those moments are golden, even if they come with a bit of humour.