A few days ago, I wrote a blog post on DeafFirefly congratulating Sam on his success on Big Brother, but I have seen some ‘Sam-bashing’ online, from both deaf and hearing people. Let me explain why I think this is unfair.
I’m deaf. I was raised oral and mainstream, words that are fairly innocuous in the hearing world, but in the deaf world they are loaded with meaning; I was brought up to speak, make what use of my residual hearing that I could and generally do my best to fit in with a hearing world that seemed to have little to no idea what it’s like to be deaf. It’s hard work.
It’s fair to say I struggled. A lot.
My hearing aids pick up all noise in the vicinity and make no distinction between voices and random background noise. Group conversations are next to impossible; by the time I’ve worked out who’s talking, the next person is already talking and the topic has changed. I might as well try to catch water with my hands. It is in theory possible, but it takes effort and lots gets spilled and lost. Even if I do manage to grasp the topic, the effort of constantly concentrating on people’s lips gives me eyestrain and headaches.
In short, entering a house full of hearing people whom I’ve never met, who may or may not have their own agendas or worse, strong accents and who, most likely, have never met a deaf person before – never mind interacted with them on a daily basis – is one of my worst nightmares.
Factor in the tall fence around the property and the cameras recording your every move 24 hours a day, with every ‘hilarious’ misunderstanding, embarrassing gaffe and verbal faux pas broadcast for the viewing pleasure of millions of people and you have a scenario that you would have to pay me £100,000 upfront to go into.
So I applauded when I learned that a deaf man was going to enter Big Brother. It still didn’t encourage me to watch, the subtitles would have to improve vastly for that, but I appreciated the enormity of the task he was taking on. I also didn’t think he would last more than a couple of weeks before either being voted out or quitting.
I followed Michelle Hedley’s updates for Limping Chicken with interest, and was impressed when Sam made it past week two. It seemed that for the most part, he relied on his lip-reading and speech skills, and on instructions printed on laminate for the Big Brother ritual humiliations, er, I mean tasks. Whilst I was disappointed he didn’t sign much (or at all), I mentally congratulated him for lasting as long as he did.
He did manage to spread a little deaf awareness whilst he was in the house, telling Callum what it’s like to be deaf, how sometimes it seems like there’s no point in taking part in conversations as it’s so hard to keep up. I so got what he meant, and the more hearing people that appreciate how hard it is, the better.
Sam survived the Big Brother house; he not only survived, he won. Yet I’ve seen so many negative comments about him, from both deaf and hearing people.
The complaint from the hearing fans of BB is that he was quiet, he was ‘wallpaper’, he was boring. What they don’t seem to understand is that he was doing exactly what I would do; avoiding being drawn into any group conflicts or big group conversations for fear of misunderstanding what was really going on and thus looking like a muppet, whilst making friends with people individually in an environment he could manage.
That’s not being wallpaper, that’s deaf survival.
The complaint from the deaf fans of BB is that he doesn’t sign, he doesn’t present as culturally deaf, he speaks and ‘listens’, etc.
In the education system we have in this country, very few deaf children and teenagers are encouraged to sign. I know I wasn’t. I didn’t learn to sign properly until I went to uni, at 19. Hell, I wasn’t even ‘fluent’ until I was about 21. How old is Sam again?
He’s 23. From Llanelli in Wales. I don’t wish to suggest that Llanelli is far from civilisation, but google it. It’s 50 miles from Cardiff, the nearest major city. I can imagine that opportunities to mix with fellow deafies, especially signing ones, are few and far between.
Even if he does stay in the hearing world by choice, he’s demonstrated he knows what it is to be deaf; his survival strategies and that conversation with Callum show his deaf credentials. That’s good enough for me. Whether he signs or not, we have a shared experience of deafness and being left for dead in spoken group conversations.
And, signing or not, he showed the UK’s TV audience several important things:
- Deaf people are not aliens
- Deaf people freak if you make them think you just destroyed all their hearing aid batteries
- Deaf people do not have two heads
- Deaf people cannot be woken by shouting at them – just shake them
- Deaf people can have a nice smile; they don’t bite
- Deaf people can have disagreements; they can bite a little if pushed
- Deaf people can be funny
- Deaf people can be boring
- Deaf people can make really bad jokes
- Deaf people have a hard time keeping up in group conversations
- Deaf people can be romantic
- Deaf people can be lost and insecure
- Deaf people are human
- Deaf people can participate in things if you give them half a chance
- Deaf people can win Orwellian televised popularity contests if you give them half a chance
When asked what he would do with the prize money, he said he would give 25% to charity, 25% to his Mum and hold the rest for his future.
Another thing he’s showed the nation: Deaf people can be kind, smart and have a good head on their shoulders.
Maybe he’s not a BSL poster boy, but he makes a good-looking deaf one.
So I’m feeling the love for Sam. He took on the Big Brother house, a daunting enough prospect for someone who can hear everything going on round them, and won. He actually won.
Many congratulations Sam, and I wish you all the best for the future. You’ll go far.
Donna Williams is a Contributing Editor for Limping Chicken. She is a Deaf writer and blogger living in Bristol and studying part-time in Cardiff. As well as being a postgrad student, she’s a BSL poet, freelance writer, NDCS Deaf Role Model presenter, and occasional performer. She tweets as@DeafFirefly
The Limping Chicken’s supporters provide: sign language interpreting and communications support (Deaf Umbrella), online BSL video interpreting (SignVideo), captioning and speech-to-text services (121 Captions), online BSL learning and teaching materials (Signworld), theatre captioning (STAGETEXT), Remote Captioning (Bee Communications), visual theatre with BSL (Krazy Kat) , healthcare support for Deaf people (SignHealth), theatre from a Deaf perspective (Deafinitely Theatre ), specialist lipspeaking support (Lipspeaker UK), Deaf television programmes online (SDHH), language and learning (Sign Solutions), BSL interpreting and communication services (Lexicon Signstream), sign language and Red Dot online video interpreting (Action Deafness Communications) education for Deaf children (Hamilton Lodge School in Brighton), and legal advice for Deaf people (RAD Deaf Law Centre).
yourlocalcinema (@yourlocalcinema)
August 29, 2013
Great article Donna. My son is the same age as Sam, profoundly deaf, can totally relate to all that.
Tim
August 29, 2013
I totally agree.
Deaf people quite often attack oralism – and quite rightly so. But for some to then turn around and blame the victims of oralism? That makes them little better than the worst of the oralists.
It’s like blaming slaves for their shackle sores.
Hartmut
August 30, 2013
Yours is a powerful insight. I agree! Blaming the victim, oh boy!! I hope, it is only a misreading of their statements.
Using the spoken language and the discourse conventions of the hearing in writing could render a comment by a Deafie a backstabber. His limited knowledge of the “Hearing ways” must be taken into account for interpretation of what he writes. It is largely in the nature “Oh, by his behavior and pronouncements, he is hurting all of us, and, therefore makes our life more miserable.”
Different would be, if these victims march around praising their oralistic upbringing and disparaging Deaf folks for their use of sign language, saying that the deaf folks were just being “lazy for refusing to learn to read”. These individuals are reinforcing the lies of the oralists. Deaf persons may spot these audistic attitudes miles away.
I don’t watch BB for beeing in the USA to catch if Sam has ever uttered such a blooper to reveal any internalized audistic notions. Nevertheless, I do congratulate him on his win.
Hartmut
Natalya Dell
August 29, 2013
Fantastic article Donna, thank you!
I’m an oralie too and while I do sign a bit (bad level 2, rotten grammar) and my reception’s pretty good it’s not a language I’m strong in. Then again, I don’t rate my English either.
Sam is representative of a larger population of deaf/HOH people who are the majority of those with any kind of deafness in the UK including those who are elderly. I work with deaf and disabled students and hardly any of our students sign as a primary mode of communications and only a handful more sign at all and usually socially only. Many of my HOH students and people I know say they feel out of place in hearing and Deaf worlds.
I’d love for sign to become more prominent, supported, funded, accessible to deaf people cos learning what BSL I have was truly one of the best things I have EVER done with my life, it improved my confidence, self esteem, ‘security’ and other communication skills immeasurably and I only wish I could access classes for a maintenance level affordably, locally and in my limited energy. I do intend to go onto pre level 3 and look at some of the online classes now I’ve finished a work course this week *hurrah*!
However no matter how much I love what sign I have and am STRONGLY pro sign, I also respect those who don’t want it, don’t need it, don’t want to be pressured into it and who feel excluded by ‘D’eaf community or pressure to learn cos individually every signing deaf/Deaf person I have ever met has been awesome but the pressure is still there. Also that hearies assume all deaf people sign which isn’t accurate or helpful for those of us using alternative communication support to BSL terps!
Christian
August 29, 2013
What a joy of an article to read. You are clearly right that to be D/deaf, does not necessarily mean that you have to be a fluent user of sign language.
Hartmut
August 30, 2013
I cannot fathom, a typical Deaf person does not use sign language..A person is deaf, from birth or turned non-hearing sometime during his lifetime. A deaf person becomes Deaf through enculturation into the Deaf environment, which usually includes acquiring sign language.
Sammmymack
August 29, 2013
Great article and thanks to Michelle too.
As an avid BB and TV forum fan, it was interesting to watch how the tide turned in the public perception of him.
At the start there was outrage on all the hearing forums mainly due to people criticising his speech and demanding subtitles to understand him ( mumbling idiot/sounds like he’s got a mouthful of jam/gherkins etc) . As soon as people got used to his speech they started slating him for not joining in and sleeping too much ( lipreading fatigue?). His lack of intonation also prompted comments about him being rude and abrupt.
His participation was admirable. He rarely showed his frustrations: two memorable and telling occasions stand out:
1. He didn’t hear the punchline to a rude joke and asked for it to be repeated, the older mother figure decided it was too rude for him, ie censored it. His mate in the house, Callum then did a rude gesture to explain it to him and she told the mate off for being vulgar. This enabled Sam to get the joke though!
2. He was unable to hear Emma and the crowd on live eviction nights and asked the housemates to tell him honestly what the reaction had been when his name was called ( boos or cheers or a mix of both) . He got cross when some of them tried to protect him from the truth (a voice shouting ‘get Sam out’ ) and said he wanted honesty from them and he could take the facts and then react to them thank you very much.
He also mentioned that at his school it was compulsory to be educated in Welsh and that English is his second language. What an achievement. He plays for Wales and UK Deaf football team and coaches so assume he does sign too. He did teach some of the housemates a bit at the beginning but only a couple were interested….
Liz
August 29, 2013
Well written article and glad someone has raised this. Deaf or hearing. No one should have judged Sam wrong. I am glad he won. He was brave to enter that house. Something I would not have been able to have done myself.
A Welsh Anonymous Person.
August 29, 2013
I *must* point out that Sam is hardly isolated. Saying he live 50 miles from a major city is a tad rubbish. Swansea is too a city and is just around 13 miles away and is 2nd largest city of Wales. It’s bigger than some cities in England such as Reading. It’s about the same as Derby and that does have a sizable deaf community. (Cardiff have around 60K to 80K more people, that’s it).
However as for the rest of article, spot on. I’ve only ever slagged off those who took advantage of Sam – ie AOHL sending out press releases how they helped Big Brother production make the house more deaf friendly etc etc – how it’s all centralised around them *helping* a poor deaf person, aka Sam. That alone pisses me off the most.
The damage from them is that it’s portraying a picture of how deaf people need help.
I’m fairly certain that Sam is more than able to decide for himself what HE needs. He knows. He live with his deafness after all. But AOHL and all others involved made it out that they did it for him rather than worked with him.
Ultimately with that, it ended up making it look like that Sam needed help for those that don’t watch Big Brother if they hear about a deaf person in BB via sources such as AOHL.
However if as you have said that Sam show the opposite in the show, then great but it’s going to be a short-lived memory, while the PR statements from AOHL etc will go further. Annoying.
Well done to Sam for winning. I know I wouldn’t have coped with Big Brother myself if I ever ended up in there.
Katie McKenna
August 30, 2013
I too am a Hard of Hearing/Deaf person raised in a hearing world. I read lips and was mainstreamed. Yet as I grew older I developed Meniere’s syndrome which robbed me of even more of my hearing. I am now almost completely deaf and do not know much sign. Now my goal is to mentor to others that face disabilities in life. I am trying to become a Teacher for the Deaf and I can Identify with so much this young man has gone through. My heart goes out to him, and I THANK the person who brought this to people’s attention. What a wonderful and inspring post. Please see the Facebook page “Keep Dreams Alive” My goal is simply to connect others through friendships, encouragement and mentoring.
Aliya
August 30, 2013
Well written and an important article Donna, you raise and address some imperative issues, not just in relation to Sam, but also the broader attitudes towards D/deafness and identity. I enjoyed reading this, thank you.
deaffirefly
August 31, 2013
Thank you so much everyone for your comments!
I agree re oralism, I never made a choice as a child to be mainstreamed any more than any other other deaf kids did so it’s more than a little unfair to hold it against us. It doesn’t make us any less deaf. It would be far better to try and encourage ex-mainstreamers to join the deaf community instead to pushing them away, united we stand etc!
Same here, Natalya, learning BSL changed my life and I was lucky in that was I was able to take formal courses as well as learning socially at Uni. I really think the world would be a much better place if all deaf children and adults (and their families) were encouraged to learn to sign but at the same I respect that this does not often happen and also some deaf people survive perfectly well without it, using other communication support. My mother, who is also deaf, uses lipspeakers. If anything, that causes more confusion than when I request terps! Even so, BSL rocks 🙂
Thanks for your insights, Sammymack, it’s a real pity the housemates weren’t more interested in learning sign, that would have been great. But also goes to show that Sam coming across as someone who does not sign / isn’t culturally deaf isn’t his fault; it comes down to the environment he was in, that he was forced to adapt to. And he did it really well! Good on him 🙂
Sorry Welsh Anonymous, I take your comments on board re Swansea and Cardiff, consider me educated. I think I made a typical English person mistake in assuming Cardiff is the only ‘big’ city in Wales – oops. It’s a real pity about those kind of press releases, language used is so important.
Thanks again everyone for your comments, and another hearty well done for the boy from Llanelli!
Semhar Beyene
September 5, 2013
Superb writing, I enjoyed reading Sam! Although I haven’t seen Big Brother at all, you summed it all beautifully for me that I am able to imagine what type of worthy winner he was, and like Aliya said, how imperative issues between the Deaf/Hearing communities and their attitudes still lie, sadly.
I look forward to read more.