I was very proud of my HIFI set up. I had built it piece by glorious piece from a classic valve amplifier found on eBay to a specialist record player cartridge that cost me more than £1000. My CD player was a work of engineering joy and I knew my ‘woofer’ from my ‘tweeter’.
In my quest for auditory perfection I bought a CD that was designed to balance the texture of the music by analysing the sound frequencies. The CD also had a series of test tracks to rate my own sensitivity to different musical ranges. There were the usual beeps and bleeps and the tones became progressively less audible to gauge my capacity for hearing frequencies.
I went through the test carefully noting which tracks were clearly audible and which were not, the software then did a prompt diagnosis and report. I referred to the final figures on the explanatory booklet and it said, “see a doctor and have your hearing checked professionally”. My fastidious musical appreciation had been just a fantasy, I was, actually, going deaf.
For a couple of months, I went into denial, I was in my early 60’s and in very good shape all round. I discussed the hearing issue with my girlfriend and she said I did listen to the TV really loud and she hadn’t wanted to say anything. Suddenly things began to fall into place and I realised that I was straining to understand conversation that was on the higher end of the spectrum, especially unfamiliar female voices.
Finally, I popped by to see my GP and he did a standard hearing test and said I was suffering from age-related hearing loss but suggested I see a specialist at the local hospital in Wimbledon. I was travelling quite a lot, so I went privately to get seen conveniently. The consultant set up a series of tests for me and there was no room for doubt – I had noticeable hearing loss. The technician said that I was at a point where I would benefit from hearing aids. Not profound loss but not that good either.
The consultant suggested I went to my local audiology clinic at Kingston Hospital for an NHS evaluation and 6 weeks later they confirmed what I already knew, my hearing loss was more than just age-related, and I needed hearing aids. The whole situation hit me with a bitter irony because my day job was running a disability dating site and podcasting on disabled living. My site had a large membership from the deaf community and I was gradually blending into my own business demographic.
So, my path into hearing loss had begun as I struggled to adapt my brain to falling leaves that sounded like aircraft landing and tap water that sounded like waves crashing on the sea wall. The hospital said it would take a couple of weeks for my brain to re-filter important sounds from unimportant ambient noise.
It was a heavy challenge for me and there were times I didn’t really want to carry on. Extraneous noise came at me from every direction in a mish-mash of sounds. Is that what a bluebottle actually sounded like – it was like a bassoon. In the end it took me almost 3 months of adaptation to feel comfortable with my hearing aids on a daily basis.
I would like to think that my experiences with hearing loss would throw some light on the ‘not quite deaf ‘baby boomers who live on the borders of the deaf community.
David Miller is the webmaster at disabilitymatch.co.uk and a regular podcaster on issues of disabled living.
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Sonia Tusheds
March 21, 2018
I am in the same group as you David, unable to hear perfectly, but not able to say I am profoundly deaf (yet!), so …. somewhere in the middle then? I’ve only just discovered this site but it is nice to find (almost comforting!) someone else who is ‘me’. I went deaf when I was pregnant but only in one ear to start with. I made alarming noises to my widwife but it ‘fell on deaf ears’ …. (pardon the pun!) and so when my son was 3, I gave in and went to see an audiologist who confirmed that yes, indeed, I am deaf, and he asked “which ear would I like my hearing aid for?” This then made me realise that I had 2 non-working ears!! Anyway, to cut a long story short, 25 years on and I now have hearing aids in both ears, and can no longer hear my voice if I take them out these days. I can remember the first time I began to use them as we had an old fashioned thunder clap outside bog which I remember flushing for the first time thinking a bomb had gone off, also opening the loudest bag of crisps on earth! (did you hear that David Attenborough?!) I have felt utterly depressed, suicidal and lonely on and off over the last 25 years as I am the only “deafie” in my social group (apart from my Dad) but I’ve learnt to cope with humour and laughing at myself, and with time, my peers are gradually becoming “cloth eared” (albeit slightly!) alongside myself and they have a bit more empathy with me. Btw …. I was a tender 31 when my hearing went 25 years ago, I am still coming to terms with it and learning how to cope. Wearing hearing aids is exhausting (as you’ll discover) and you will need to have a rest from time to time. Good luck and I hope you get on ok with them, I’m sure you will. (I moved house btw, we now have a quiet bog!)
Paul Stacey
March 22, 2018
David I empathised with your contribution. I too started developing hearing loss around 2012 in my late 50’s. Going deaf is devastating and the feeling of isolation at times is so overwhelming. But I think the worse thing about it for me is the loss of ability to enjoy music.
The dissonance and distortion that comes at you when you hear a piece of music is heartbreaking. It’s like listening to a Les Dawson piano recital without the laughs. I always had my HiFi on (not so sophisticated as yours I hasten to add) but in the end I gave it away. In my younger years I played in a Brass Band and also did a bit of singing. Now I can’t even pitch a note because everything is so out of tune around me. I now know what it means to be tone deaf . The only music I can enjoy is the musical tinnitus in my head that I get from time to time. I’m always on the lookout for some digital type of headphone that can compensate for the losses but so far to no avail. It’s nice to know that others like youself are around who are expressing the feelings that I am experiencing too. I wish you all the best!
katlandkat
April 4, 2018
Oh gosh I am 60 years old but with a difference I was going deaf for many many years noticeably. In my 20s I was 70% deaf in my better ear now I have lost a lot more so over 90% loss ……..into profound deafness category.
When I was younger I enjoyed dancing as could still hear the beat of the music.
Also through the years my tinnitus changed to now it is like 24/7 music internally so hard to know what or if those sounds can come through. I was told though when tinnitus sounds go away it means also the sounds are dead so can’t hear them anyway at all. I know this to be true as I have lost some sounds that were in the tinnitus range before it changed again. First off had high pitch noise, then was fog horns, now music (sorta) so the last hearing test showed I had lost some low tones (fog horns) and higher pitch sounds lost many years ago in the before I was 20 years old. I do have damage in there from many ear drums busting as a child …….and into adulthood so those were the first sounds I lost.
When I was younger (mid 20s) they tried me out on hearing aids and yeah the sounds were bad ……..tried them faithfully for months but all I got out of it was those sounds didn’t need to hear and not what I needed to hear. So when I lose the tinnitus currently dealing with it just means might be more quiet internally.
My biggest frustration is trying to deal with day to day life when it is so set up for hearing people but for a long time I managed to keep my frustrations in check until I had surgery on my front lobe of my brain leaving me with some brain damage that is not helping me when dealing with people. Frontal lobe controls impulse and anger stuff like that and I would really like to get technology that will help in a mean fully way like a tablet that has a good voice to text software I can carry around with me.
I can’t even go to the doctor without someone coming with my laptop to type out what is being said ……..that just gets frustrating all the time and all need time to set up.
Good luck with hearing aids and keep them away from cats or they will chew on the ear pieces (those gave me bad sores in my ears — another reason why quit the hearing aids.