Rebecca-Anne Withey: My recommendations for parents of deaf children starting school

Some of you may remember me writing previously about my daughter. She’s deaf, four years old, and quite a character. When she started nursery school last September we were naturally anxious about how she would get on.

But truth be told, we needn’t have worried. She revelled in being around her peers and learning new things every day.

It helped that the nursery she attended were super enthusiastic about using BSL with all their children (not just those who are deaf) and it meant she was immersed in BSL and speech every day.

Because of that, her language has come on leaps and bounds and I challenge you to find another four year old who is more of a chatterbox than my daughter who MUST know why-what-where-how-when regarding.every.single.thing.

She now approaches another milestone this September when she starts primary school. Eeeeek!

It’s a big thing for any parent, their child starting school. Add to that she’s also my youngest, so it’s even more bittersweet.

The fact that she is deaf makes it a little more complicated than when we sent her hearing older brother to school, as more things have to be put in place beforehand.

We’ve had quite a few meetings regarding her transition to the school. We’re really happy with the support she has in place and grateful that she has a team of people to support her development – as well as her family.

We are lucky in a way, being deaf parents. Because we’ve been through what she has, and we already had BSL before she was born.

But there have still been a few tips I’ve picked up that have helped my daughters educational journey so far, and things I will continue to do. They are as follows…

• Use pictures, pictures and more pictures

My daughter is a very visual learner and when we have the bedtime chats about school, she likes to look at photos. Our teacher of the deaf managed to photograph her nursery school, the playground, the toilets, the teachers and more and these were great resources to also create sign names from. It also meant she could see the uniform she would be wearing by seeing images of current pupils.

• Ask for extra visits

Most deaf children are offered an additional visit to a new school (as well as the move up morning most new children attend) but you can request more. We visited the nursery school twice, and at different times so that we could see the different dynamics and various activities held during the day.

• Have a home-school book

When I was a little girl I remember my school teacher used to write in a home-school book each day, adding notes about topics we had covered that day. My mum would ask me questions to check I’d understood and report back if there were any problems.

We asked our daughter’s nursery school for the same style of home-school book, but we also wanted them to tell us names of children she had played with (she tended to mishear names) games or stories she had heard, so we could create sign names, and continue to chat about it at home.

I found this book so helpful as it meant even if I wasn’t able to chat to her teacher on the day, I would always be able to report any concerns and be informed of her day.

• Personalise the hearing aid box!

My daughter is oh – so – very proud of her hearing aid box adorned with diamanté’s and Dora the Explorer stickers. She has a special compartment in her school bag to pop it in and she loves being independent, getting it out and putting it away “all by myself!” It’s helped make her hearing aid more fun. I also remember the excitement of slapping a Minnie Mouse sticker on my hearing aid box and I felt like the coolest thing ever.

• If need be, go slowly with amplifications

When our daughter started nursery she struggled with how noisy it was and refused to wear her hearing aid, when she previously wore it happily. Knowing how LOOOUUUD hearing aids can be, I didn’t want to force her to tolerate noisy environments so we first of all explained to the teachers who also had a chat with the class, and we got her hearing aid turned down a little bit too by audiology.

We then asked her if she could wear the hearing aid at quiet time / story time, and allowed her to take it out whenever she felt it was too noisy. This relaxed attitude has helped her feel more comfortable wearing it, knowing that she is never forced and we can adjust her surroundings to make it more comfortable too.

• Get the papers organised

This goes without saying, those with deaf children know how much paperwork we get. And I’m sure most of you have a filing box or a (messy) drawer (like me) where all the letters and things regarding your child’s deafness goes.

But one thing that was really bugging me was the tons of speech language and BSL resources I had lying about the place with no dedicated home. So I got some ‘special folders’ to organise the papers, and they now read like a book! Rather than search for crumped pieces of random papers we now have A4 size folders with dedicated places for ‘BSL,’ ‘speech therapy,’ and so on. Winning.

• Ask, ask and ask some more

One thing my mum advised me on, when she found out my daughter was also deaf, was to always ask for what I wanted rather than expect it to be automatically provided.

My parents had a tough time raising me and my (also deaf) sister, as they are hearing and felt like they were navigating new ground whilst always in the dark. They therefore learnt the hard way that to get the best for your deaf child, you have to anticipate battles and fight for your rights.

Tell the school and those involved with your deaf child clearly what your child needs and state what you expect from them. Assertiveness, I’ve learnt, goes a long way when raising a deaf child. You’ve got this.

Our journey with our daughter is really only just beginning and I’m sure I’ll pick up more tips, and learn from mistakes along the way. Parents of deaf children – are you ready for the new school term? Do you have any tips or advice you would give to others?

Wishing your children a very happy new school term!