Rebecca-Anne Withey: Reflecting on 2019 and the release of ‘You and I’ to raise awareness of mental wellbeing

Wow, what a year! 2019 has indeed been a busy year for The Limping Chicken with lots of news to report, theatre shows and books to review and I’ve loved interviewing so many interesting people from all walks of the deaf community.

We’ve witnessed some great accomplishments by deaf people, with a stand out memory for me being the John O Groats to Lands End walk in aid of supporting and raising awareness of deaf people’s mental wellbeing.

It’s been a significant year in highlighting the mental crises within the deaf community, and speaking out about the lack of support we’ve previously felt from mainstream organisations.

It’s a tragic fact that if you haven’t experienced a mental illness yourself, its very likely you know someone who has (or is), and being deaf does mean you are more likely to experience ongoing mental health issues due to the lack of accessible information and support on offer in society.

The deaf community lost several of its members this year due to mental illness and I know I’m not alone in feeling the growing solidarity amongst us as we open up and talk about such issues.

Earlier this year I was supporting a close friend who was suffering with his mental health. We met up often and in between I would type texts to him to try and convey how even though he felt alone, he never actually would be and that it was safe to drop the act of ‘pretending’ and open up about how he really felt.

I’m not a counsellor, just a friend. But I could see how not having accessible resources about mental health plus believing in the terrible tales his mind told him was a worrying combination for his state of mind.

Being deaf meant he couldn’t access the traditional forms of counselling straightaway and he was immediately offered medication that he didn’t understand or trust.

After a three month wait he finally got on a programme of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy with communication support in place, and I’m really pleased to say he’s doing really well.

Since my friend’s illness there has been the formation of the Deaf4Deaf charity and also the emergency text number from SignHealth in partnership with Shout which deaf people can text if they are experiencing a mental health crisis.

Since my friend recovered, I noticed even more people in need of support. Someone else very close to me attempted to take their own life – which I was very shocked by but thankfully they are now on the road to recovery.

All of us are affected by mental health in one way or another, and we all deal with life’s challenges in different ways. It should no longer be seen as shameful to be struggling with conditions such as depression, anxiety or panic. They are all illnesses, that with the right support you can manage and even recover from.

So when I reflect upon 2019 personally, I cannot help but see it as a year which brought so much darkness to light. The year revealed how so many of our friends in the deaf community struggle. We discovered that some people struggle without even showing it, so we would have never even known.

I felt like I wanted to share what I’d learnt and felt as a friend supporting someone who was in a dark place and so – with my friends permission – I took my original ‘texts’ and transformed them into a song. My friend and I wanted to use the song to share the message with the deaf community that it’s okay to not be okay.

The song became ‘You and I’ and I worked with Mark Smith of Safe Sound Productions to produce the track – with Mark also providing the vocal recording. I felt like it was important for the song to have a male voice, as it also signifies how men often feel they cant be anything other than strong, and so I wanted to have this representation in the video.

Teresa Garratty provided the edit and creative captions for the video and sign performing alongside me are well known deaf actors, Stephen Collins, Matthew Kirby, Will Lewis and Nadia Nadarajah. I was so fortunate to get a wonderful team of talented actors to perform, and we all hope that maybe our song will reach someone who needs to see it and be reminded that there is support out there for them, and to not lose faith.

If you are deaf and struggling, please don’t hesitate to reach out. If you don’t have a friend or relative you trust, you can get in touch with either of the deaf charities mentioned and seek confidential support.

For mental health support, check out www.deaf4deaf.com and you can also text ‘deaf’ to 85258 as explained on the Signhealth website. You can view the music video for You and I here.

On that note, I’d like to wish all of the Limping Chicken readers a peaceful Christmas and a healthy, happy new year.

See you in 2020!

Rebecca x