Hamza Shaikh: How I overcame struggles with my mental health

Trigger warning: This article contains content about suicide.

How can I start to talk about my struggles with mental health? I know these things are very sensitive topics for anyone to read or talk about indeed. Yet I feel this is the only way I can share my experience and raise awareness and if my story could save anyone life then I know I have done something good.

I did not realise that I had serious issues with my mental health until June 2019 when I ended up on the bridge with my college friend. I almost ended my life but remarkably and thanks to her I am still alive and well today.

Back then I was ashamed to share the fact I was suffering with my mental health because everyone knew me as a jolly and positive person but the quote ‘nobody should judge the book by it’s cover’ comes to mind here.

After I got the help from the doctor and support from my best friends I managed to have the courage to tell my family and it was a very emotional moment with lots of tears and questions to ponder.

With my father being religious, it is very difficult to discuss. Mental health is a really sensitive taboo subject in Indian culture as well as Islam and the experience did actually impact my identity as a Deaf British Indian Muslim.

To the world, I am small to them but to me I am a grown adult and I am proud to be Deaf Muslim. Coming to terms with my differences helped me to be proud about who I am. So, after breaking the news to family that I was struggling with my mental health, they were in fact very supportive and I then went to have CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) sessions at the Barberry Jasmine Suite.

Later on I then got myself referred to Sign Health, a Deaf charity where I’m still supported to this day and very thankful for this.

Mental health issues are different for everyone – nobody is the same. I decided to write a post on my social media for mental health awareness day back in October 2020. This was my way of coming out and revealing my mental health struggles to others. Despite a few horrible comments, I have been lucky to receive overwhelmingly positive support from friends, families and the deaf community. For their helping hand I am forever grateful.

Because of my own experiences, I then felt inspired to attend the Deafinitely Theatre mental health event in March 2020 just before the coronavirus lockdown. This was organised by Paula Garfield, founder and director of Deafinitely Theatre. At this event I met so many people there and learnt so much! Looking back I feel my experiences made me a stronger person today.

In terms of how I fit into the Deaf community and Islam, I learnt much about these and how they affected my mental health and discussions about them gave me plenty of food for thought. Because of my experience with severe depression, mild anxiety and post-stress trauma disorder it led me to be on television again with BBC See Hear recently.

Looking back to the beginning of my mental health journey, I must admit that it was a relief to let everyone know I am not okay and discover I am not alone in this. If you need help like I did (and you don’t have any one close to talk to) just email The Samaritans or text DEAF to Shout 85258.

I would like to say to others that struggling with your mental health does not make you weak. Getting support from others makes you realise your value as you see around you everyone who loves you so much. Do not be ashamed to come out and tell your story as I did.

Hamza Shaikh is profoundly Deaf and uses BSL as his native language. He lives in Birmingham and is self-employed as a language support tutor for Deaf students across the West Midlands. He loves travelling and exploring new places. He is currently writing his biography.