Mary-Jayne Russell de Clifford: Parenting an autistic teenager who loves drama

Mary-Jayne Russell de Clifford is a professional drama facilitator, director and BSL storyteller amongst many other things. She is also Mother to an autistic teenage son. Mary-Jayne often writes about her son and how his view of the world has allowed her to see the world in a very different light, especially the abstract and surreal.

Mary-Jayne’s son is called Lancelot and like his Mother he is heavily involved in drama and loves story telling. Lancelot loves the creative process and often makes Mary-Jayne see things outside the box. In her latest blog, Mary-Jayne talks about Lancelot’s recent achievements in drama.

My son, Lancelot, has made me realise just how many stereotypes there are in society and the world. What would life be like if we were to remove these labels from individuals? I believe it would make the world a beautiful planet for you, me and all else.

Lancelot has had to fight some unnecessary battles but he continues to take the next day as a new day with a smile. That is perseverance. I started up a blog to record our journey and I would love to hear from other deaf parents who are living with those who have autism, and even other families who love drama and creativity too!

In the summer of 2017 Lancelot was appointed main character role as ‘Peter’ from a well-known storybook by C.S.Lewis, ‘The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.’

This opportunity conveying the equality within his ‘disability’ as the society would call it. The Riverside Performing Arts (RPA) met my son – a 10 year old boy with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attentive Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and saw his astounding acting abilities. They even worked around his ‘super brain abilities’ and managed to juggle his ASD and ADHD.

Lancelot felt like such a hero in this role, an ‘A’ hero which he could finally share with others and show his acting talents on stage. The audience was small and made up of mostly families but to Lancelot, it means so much to him.

It was such an achievement as a few months earlier in Easter 2017 Lancelot was asked to leave by a local youth theatre in Worcester. He was truly heart-broken.

The leader of the youth theatre was concerned about Lancelot’s physical reactions which he tried with effort to remain in control of. A child with autism seems to get extra super sensory powers and certain situations or environments can become really overwhelming for an autistic child. The local youth theatre had created limits and barriers which had made drama impossible for Lancelot and they told me to withdrawn Lancelot until Autumn 2017.

So, the opportunity for Lancelot to show everyone in the room his acting skills as ‘Peter’ was an enormous step forward to show everyone what he is truly capable of!

I believe drama and acting are such resourceful methods for autistic people to express their feelings, become creative and develop independence, being able to express ideas which are utterly essential to them.

Including sign language in drama is a bonus as it gives out the nature of facial, body and spiritual expressions from their autistic brain. The drama methods enable children and adults with autism to understand social ‘rules’, social skills, social values, emotion skills, developing an understanding of emotional wellbeing and being able to empathise with others with their thoughts, opinions and perspectives.

Autism can feel like one world, as though you are in one bubble. Their view is one way, one direction and one vision because if they incorporate more than one direction or perspective, their mind becomes overwhelmed with too much information. In this respect, drama supports these strategies to see that there is more than one eye in this universe. This is done with visual and practical methods with an openly exploring approach.

After his performance as Peter, Lancelot then joined Star Project in Worcestershire and he has been involved from 2017 to 2019. He, once again, became a main character for The Greatest Showman as Phineas Taylor Barnum and I was so utterly proud of his perseverance. Lancelot’s time there sadly stopped when they stopped delivering drama sessions on Monday evenings.

Soon after Lancelot began his Drama GCSE and he discovered more about acting techniques, technical theatre and he grew to love making props out of cardboard. He always felt safe doing acting because he is able to be more himself without social cues, social interaction rules and is free to explore his own creativity.

When I discovered that the local Youth Theatre had gotten a new leader, this gave me hope that Lancelot could possibly return. I contacted them and asked if they would have Lancelot back and they said YES! I was over the moon and so was Lancelot as he really did miss the youth theatre. He should have never been told to leave in the first place because of his neurodiversity.

Lancelot has now returned to the Swan Youth Theatre and he passionately enjoys it but I wonder whether it was worth them removing him in the first place? With all the meltdowns he suffered afterwards, the low moods and low self-esteem. Was it really worth it? The theatre group should have consulted with me to try alternative or different calming strategies because asking him to leave has achieved nothing.

Children and adults with autism DO have feelings. I would love to see more theatre groups giving them a chance. Just be flexible, be understanding, be patient and most of all, allow them to feel empowered. Consult with parents if you have to. Just like with deafness, with autism there is always a way to get round obstacles so children can achieve their dreams.

If you are deaf and have a autistic teenager who enjoys drama, I would love to hear from you!

Mary-Jayne Russell de Clifford is a professional drama scriptwriter, facilitator, and director, a BSL worship leader and trainer, a BSL story-teller, BSL poet and a mentor. Mary-Jayne has a degree in Theatre Arts, Education, and Deaf Studies. She worked with Deafinitely Theatre, Vamos Theatre, Taking Flight Theatre and currently re-establishing her theatre company, DeDrama (temporary name)

www.maryrdec.wixsite.com