Lisa Baldock: Why does it hurt so much to lose an assistance dog? (BSL)

We may all at some point in our lives have an animal or family pet to cherish, which can bring many benefits and positive impacts. It not only teaches you and family valuable lessons like responsibilities, trust, compassion, respect but it can help your wellbeing too. For example, it enables you to become more active in walks as well as reduce stress, improve mental health.

My congenital hearing loss declined further when I was in my late 30s and with hearing devices changing. I felt pressure and my anxiety levels increased, so I became isolated. I had given up on socialising and more importantly just existing.

My dear husband (who is a CODA) told me about hearing dogs. I declined with a ‘nah it will be hard work…’ giving so many excuses. But over time I applied for an application online and I guess that was the start to positive beginnings.

It was a long wait, 4 half years! But when I got the matching photo of dear Inca, wow! We made the trip to headquarters for introductions and the moment Inca walked in the door and wagged her big tail was the day I knew I was in love. She put her big snuggling head in my lap.

Most people here may think ‘she gets a dog and that’s it’, but it really isn’t like that at all. I had to work hard to train with Inca, and she must work with me, so it was a whole lifetime for her of togetherness.

Although the hearing dogs team has been with me all the way – we have such standards to  complete and maintain, may it be her behaviour, her grooming, diet, parasite control, her fitness her ability to make me aware of sound alerts – in Incas case it was 7 sounds. These included to the door bell, the intercom alert, fire alarm, work bomb alert, work fire alarm, oven timer, and the alarm clock.

I had 6 weeks of introducing her to the sounds in home, visiting vets and pet shops and our usually jaunts of shopping and doctor appointments.  I didn’t enjoy the toileting evenings of taking her outside to relieve herself in my pyjamas! She even ate half a homemade Christmas cake on the evening of my birthday for my husband to wake me up exclaiming ‘have you eaten the cake?!’ The cake had been fed with brandy for weeks on end so a trip with a drunken Inca to the vets was inevitable!

The most important thing about having Inca was how she was constantly by my side and although being deaf I still faced the usual challenges, being pushed over, being poked for appearing rude, not hearing announcement on trains, being late getting up. It felt like nobody wanted to be my friend, I was just isolated.

Yet Inca had a way of helping me face those challenges as it wasn’t my own journey any more it was ours. I began to come alive again – I faced people I used to shy from, I didn’t have to worry about what I couldn’t hear because that was her role.

I changed my work role and began travelling all over the UK. We took trains and flights and when we were faced with the ‘you cannot take the dog’ I knew with Inca by my side I was confident enough to challenge this. It was a true culture change for me. For once I could look at Inca and know ‘its okay, we’ve got this!’

Everyone she met she loved regardless of who they were. We met so many celebrities – Princess Anne will always stick in my mind as when we were at the royal garden party, she made a beeline for Inca instead of everyone else there.

When we went to get my MBE she trotted in minus my nerves and went up to Prince William. She proceeded to put her nose in his crotch as if to say ‘never mind Mum, what about me?’ and with the awe of shock all of the protocol we were instructed to say went totally out window!

I also had the chance to be on television to talk about our journey at cruft’s and it was there we not only met Incas brother Indigo and owner Gaynor (another working partnership) but we also met the celebrity Rachel Riley. We navigated through a series of talks to many presenters representing the charities work and what an amazing experience it was too. It was a memory I will always cherish.

In 2020 Inca retired and although I was matched to another dog a working cocker spaniel Lima, I reversed roles to look after her. She stubbornly continued to work showing Lima the ropes and the additional sounds she had learnt to show him! Lima was very naughty, and Inca took it in her stride even though she was retired!

On the 11th of July 2023 I got a message to say Inca was unwell. I was at end of my holiday and about to fly home, but luckily my husband was in UK. He took her to the vets and various tests were done. She was holding up. I arrived on UK soil and as soon as I got in the door her legs collapsed, yet she still propped herself up to try and alert me to the doorbell. I knew then it wasn’t good.

Her test results when we rushed her back to the vets indicated it was her time to go. On the 13th of July 2023 I made the hardest, kindest decision with all who knew her by my side to let her go peacefully. It broke my heart; I was beyond devastated.

But with my fellow hearing dog Lima now by my side I needed to be there for him – he was grieving too. My heart is still heavy, and I struggle to comprehend why does it hurt so much, but my friend said its because she saw you through every challenge you faced. I console myself with the fact she had 11 wonderful years with me. She showed me the way, she loved and helped me with sounds and social interaction.

One of my best friends recently set a just gifting page up in her memory and each time someone donates I know her legacy will carry on. If you want to help others like me here’s the link https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/inca-baldock (https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/inca-baldock)

My comfort now is knowing that this will help more dogs like Inca help those like me. I would like to say a huge thank you to hearing dogs for deaf people charity for your support, Inca’s socialisers who trained her and always had her when I went on every holiday until the very end  -‘Thank you’.

And lastly I want to thank my dear husband Garry who has been by our side on this journey. Now its Lima’s turn, he has big boots to fill!

Lisa is a deaf HR Consultant with a focus on Diversity, Inclusion, Disability and Accessibility and is a recognised networker and influencer.  In her spare time, she loves to have fun exploring new places with her current hearing dog Lima. She has a passion for theatre, arts, and is an avid book reader.