Insight: Life as a deaf mid-40 singleton – part three! (BSL)

Hello everyone, I’m back! It’s my third piece for you this year on my dating life as a deaf mid-40 single lady and I bet you’re wondering what I’ve been up to over the last five months!

I can’t believe we are nearing the end of November, Christmas decorations and food are all in the shops, and I’m sorry to confess that sadly I don’t seem to have found my Mr Darcy in time for Christmas. Boo.

But! I have had quite a holiday romance (again, I know!) and if only this certain someone lived in the UK things might be quite different for me.

In the summer my best girl friends and I jetted off to the big city of New York for a mini break. Everyone always says that a weekend is enough for New York but we decided to stay a little longer to really get the full experience.

Arriving in the USA for the first time (I hadn’t been there before) I was really amused and intrigued by the accent I was lipreading. Ordering foods and drinks in cafes and restaurants was fun because I felt like I’d been transported to a movie set like Friends or Sex and the City.

One of my friends knew someone there so they arranged for a group of us to get together for food and it was that evening when I met my lovely American guy, as I like to call him.

We had lots of laughs and after we hit it off chatting at the party we met up alone and he took me to see lots of sights too. As an American he knew all the quieter less touristy things to see and I really loved that.

Lipreading him was sometimes hit and miss though. I remember one funny moment when I couldn’t for the life of my lipread something he was asking me for ‘do I want a wonner? What’s that? Wonner?’ After some gesturing I figured out that he had actually said water and it got me in fits of giggles.

He was really relaxed around my deafness, asking what I could and couldn’t hear and seeming to be unfazed about it. I was actually gutted when it was time to go home and we realised the chances of us keeping in touch and developing anything were really unlikely.

I don’t have any plans to return to the US and he’s so busy with his job he doesn’t get the chance to go to Europe either. So we decided to leave it as it was – a lovely meeting with happy memories but nothing more.

As I said in my last blog, I did give online dating a go for a while but I’m really not a fan of it. I find that people exaggerate or use photos from ten years ago so when you meet them in person they’re completely different to how you imagine. It doesn’t feel very honest!

So I’m sticking to the hope that I will spontaneously meet my Mr Darcy closer to home. I have a few Christmas parties in the pipeline and a wedding coming up too, so who knows indeed!

I’ve also decided not to hide my hearing aids away under my long hair anymore, so it’s more obvious to potential suitors. If they don’t like it, they can do one! In the past I think I’ve been guilty of almost trying to ‘hide’ my deafness or blend in but I now feel like I just want to be who I am, and if people don’t like it, that’s really their loss.

I did sometimes used to wonder if my deafness was the reason I was still single or couldn’t stick in a relationship for long. But I have come to the conclusion that it absolutely isn’t and I just haven’t met ‘my person’ yet.

A friend of mine has suggested I go on the reality show ‘married at first sight’ but I don’t think I would enjoy the intensity and the lack of privacy on the show. Also, can you imagine how awkward it would be if they paired me up with another deaf person but I already knew them…?! Eek!

So this holiday season is going to be all about fun and friendships and if a nice fella happens to come along, then I wouldn’t say no. But we shall see! Thank you for following my story!

This blog has been written anonymously as part of the Insight series – where readers are invited to share their story or news about their interesting job with The Limping Chicken. If you have a story to share please email rebecca@rawithey.com 

Image courtesy of i-stock photos.