Rebecca A Withey: Why I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions this year (BSL)

This time last year I made a bulleted list of everything I wanted to achieve and do in 2023. I cut out photographs and quotes and spent the best part of a weekend cultivating my very own “vision board” as inspired by my niece.

The year started off on a bit of a gloomy note (as it often does in overcast January) but armed with what I had learnt from podcasts and the Netflix sensation “The Secret,” I was positive that I could ‘manifest anything I wanted’ just like the gurus said.

In I went all guns blazing, full steam ahead ready to create wonderful adventures and amazing achievements.

The problem – as I’d soon discover – was that my energy wasn’t quite there.

I’d not long moved to a new house and was still adapting to a new environment, a new social scene and the demands of some new – albeit very exciting – jobs.

Add to that the usual pressures of motherhood, a family crisis and upsetting news and I had the perfect recipe for a classic case of Burnout.

And so I made a drastic decision to take some time off work – the first in over ten years! – and I started saying No to the influx of job offers that followed.

Some jobs were admittedly fantastic opportunities and I felt a twang of guilt when I turned them down but I knew that the biggest commitment I had to make was to myself.

(Note to reader: I love being self employed but sometimes it’s a fine balance to maintain boundaries and self care practices as well as earning an income – as I discovered!)

Half way through the year I realised that I whilst I had only achieved only a few things on that vision board I made, I had taken vast strides towards cultivating a life that worked for me.

I also managed to complete writing my very own commissioned drama, a process that was highly creative and healing.

Falling back into a formal mindfulness practice throughout the year, I realised that I didn’t need to constantly think about work when I was doing other things.

I also carved out regular time to check in with other humans away from my laptop. I was used to spending so much time on my emails and video calls that I was craving a real social connection.

Despite previously having my ‘toes in many pools’ work wise, I decided instead to focus on my main passions and recommend other deaf professionals for work that no longer ignited a spark in me.

It sounds like such simple changes but they really made a difference.

I gave myself rules about when I would be available for emails and calls and dedicated times when I would classify myself a work free zone – no matter what. Its easy to get into a bad habit of always being available when you’re a freelancer.

I now keep all work apps off my phone (including email!) and leave them on my laptop only which can be easily shut down and nestled away when it’s time to unwind or have fun. Out of sight, out of mind perhaps?

So although last January I assumed that I needed more to be happier or more successful, I actually had it back to front. I needed less.

My friends have noticed the changes to my work/life balance and ask me what I’ve been doing and where I disappear to when I’m quiet. I no longer rock up to deaf events frazzled and exhausted but ready to chat, socialise and have fun!

I found that you need to keep a reserve of energy for anything that pops up unexpectedly and if a family emergency does unfortunately arise, you do need a support network that can take the weight off you a little.

The main key for me however was recognising what was burning me out and knowing how to keep my spark alight.

So this time around for New Years, I don’t have any resolutions nor do I have a vision board because I honestly feel that I don’t need to buy/do/have/make/see anything in particular to make 2024 a great year.

Plus, I don’t want that kind of pressure!

Sure, you can make goals and set targets and if that works for you then great! But for me, the New Year is a time to look back and be grateful that I did the last year as best I could.

I’m kicking off January by delivering a Mindfulness workshop to share the skills and practices I trained in with Mindfulness Scotland. If you’re interested in finding out more email me at rebecca@rawithey.com

Rebecca A Withey is a writer and creative artist based in the Midlands. She fronts the all deaf sign performance group Unify and is the Assistant Editor for The Limping Chicken. Rebecca is a Deaf, bilingual BSL user passionate about music and telling stories. Find out more at www.rawithey.com