Insight: I dread my hearing child getting invited to parties where I have to mingle (BSL)

My only child has just turned 3 and a half and is currently at nursery part time. As the only hearing person in our little family – my partner and I are deaf – I knew that our life experience would change when he arrived.

We were surprised to have a hearing child as we both have deaf families and deaf parents. So it’s been a learning curve for us as its a brand new experience.

When our child started nursery at a school close to home, we knew that his speech wasn’t the best it could be because his first language is sign. We don’t have clear voices so that’s one thing we haven’t been able to give him – an understanding of that.

But seeing as he is mixing with peers now and is at a nursery with adults and children speaking around him we are confident he will catch up in time. We also asked our doctor about it and they told us he will model the speech sound when he is around other English speakers and not to worry.

Yet the hardest thing for me as a parent if I’m really honest is mixing with other hearing parents. I feel awkward and out of my comfort zone. I try to wave hello to others on the school run and try to look friendly and smile but it feels very awkward as others don’t seem to know what to say to me or my partner or how to interact with us.  We always seem to be the ones on their own.

Recently our son came home with his first invitation to a class mates 4th birthday. My partner was unable to take him so I offered, not wanting our son to miss out on anything. I thought parents might just sit quietly on sidelines and watch.

After the children had all played on a bouncy castle all of the children sat on a long table with plates of food and cups of different drinks. One of the parents was giving out pre ordered sandwiches that we had requested and there seemed to be a mix up between my son and another little boy and their food.

As a parent approached me about it I felt really lost as I didn’t understand what they were saying. They couldn’t understand me either. I got my phone out and started to type on Notes when another parent interrupted them and the person I was talking to just walked off and left me.

I felt lost and stupid and I still didn’t understand what the problem was.

My son was sat there without any sandwiches, looking at me and I felt overwhelmed by all the people chatting and looking busy around me.

Someone noticed that I was signing to my son about his sandwiches and as he pointed to his plate they realised he had food missing and they went in search for me.

I felt a bit helpless.

I know it wasn’t a big deal and nothing terrible happened but I realised I feel like a fish out of water when I’m surrounded by lots of hearing talking parents in one room.

I’m actually dreading any future party invites and I’ve told my partner I don’t want to be the one to go.

It’s clear that I feel really painfully shy around those who don’t use BSL but what do I do to get over it? I don’t want my son to have to be my interpreter but where do I start?

I thought maybe someone reading this would have had similar experience and could share any advice for me. Does anyone know how I can become more confident and feel able to say what I need from others?

Thank you for reading.

This blog has been written anonymously as part of the Insight series – where readers are invited to share their story or news about their interesting job with The Limping Chicken. If you have a story to share please email rebecca@rawithey.com 

Image courtesy of i-stock photos.