Insight: Don’t underestimate me because I am deaf and a woman (BSL)

I work in a field that is dominated by hearing men. I haven’t always worked in this area but after developing my skills and talent for the specialist work I do, I felt drawn to it as a career. It’s been around five years now that I first made a career change and although it has its challenges, I know I am good at what I do.

Communication wise, I am a hearing aid user and can communicate using spoken English in small groups. For larger group meetings, I use an amplification aid with a microphone that transmits to my hearing aid and.

I rely on captions to follow fast paced online meetings and I have preferences about the places I meet in, in regards to background noise or interference, for example.

Whilst my career has mostly been positive and enjoyable, I have had negative experiences over the past month that have inspired me to reflect on the attitudes and stereotypes that need addressing in the workplace.

Firstly, I find it incredibly unfair that if a male colleague expresses unhappiness about a certain task, they are labelled as ‘passionate’ or ‘strong minded.’

Yet, if a woman – namely me! – raises a complaint about the way something has worked out, I am regarded ’emotional.’

I have noticed that in the work that I do, most decisions have to be made quickly and rationally. Yet, you cannot deny that at times there are multiple factors to consider before making a decision.

I have a lot of empathy for other people and for the consequences of the decisions I make. So I do not rush or make decisions lightly. This is not because I am a woman, it’s down the type of thoughtful person I am who looks at things from all angles.

Being told I am behaving ’emotionally’ and ‘too soft’ because I consider all viewpoints feels unfair and out of touch with reality.

As a deaf person, I also notice when there are passive aggressive tones or facial expressions from others, should I request for a break or additional time to think decisions over.

Just this week, I was dismissed by a hearing colleague when I challenged a business decision. My concern was that the outcome would affect another deaf business negatively and as the deaf world is so small, I feel it is important to respect and support each other.

As a deaf hearing aid user, this colleague really should have valued the expertise I was giving him in this area. Instead I was brushed aside.

This hearing male colleague had no qualms about potentially stealing an idea from a deaf business and using it as his own. He said in his experience that thousands of ideas are thrown about and they are guaranteed to be the same – and so what I was saying ‘really didn’t matter.’

For me – it does matter. As a deaf person, I understand how the deaf community works and I also know that I want to work with integrity and honesty.

This same man challenged a whole pitch proposal I had made and clearly stated that as a ‘man of his experience’ he knew what the ‘right way’ was to go about things.

He didn’t say whether it was because he was a man, or hearing, or old or perhaps all of those. But his attitude of superiority was clear.

I understood that because I am a woman, and a deaf one at that – I appear to be inferior to him. I am also two or three decades younger. Therefore he will not take my ideas on board, questions every statement I make, and values his own opinion above mine.

I was made to feel in our meeting that I had no voice and everything I expressed was interjected with objections and criticism.

I could have allowed myself to become downhearted and be walked all over, like a fool. Yet I decided to stand my ground and with assertiveness, raised the matter of his behaviour with those who work above him.

I have been supported in these complaints and other women – who are hearing – have also come forth and spoken out about being treated unfairly or harshly by this person.

This man probably thought as a ‘poor, gentle deaf lady’ I wouldn’t have it in me to challenge him, but I do. You cannot use your sex or your hearing to assert power over someone else.

You also cannot assume you are more knowledgeable or the best person for the job because of how many years you have been working. Experience is not everything, as I have discovered.

You can learn from those younger or less experienced than yourself. There is never a need or an excuse for rude behaviour.

I would like to implore other deaf women reading this who may feel they are treated differently or unfairly, for whatever reason, to please stand up for yourself and gain support.

It cannot be the norm to have our voices silenced or ridiculed because of gender or disability.

This blog has been written anonymously as part of the Insight series  where readers are invited to share their story or news about their interesting job with The Limping Chicken. If you have a story to share please email rebecca@rawithey.com

Image courtesy of Pexels.