Insight: Volunteering at a library has given me confidence to look for work (BSL)

I didn’t get good grades at school. Partly because I didn’t work hard and also because the lessons weren’t accessible for me.

I’ve worn hearing aids since the age of 7 and grew up in a hearing, non signing family. I’m the only one in my social circle who is deaf and to be honest everyone treats me as though I am hearing.

I can speak and understand others through lip reading mostly but it’s hard to explain the fatigue I would get after being “switched on” and focusing on this all day at school.

So during the school day I’d often zone out and miss information and not bother to chase it up.

College was the same, I signed onto a course that I didn’t really enjoy with no support either and I left before the year finished.

I probably should have fought harder to get some support in place for my education but it wasn’t something I knew a lot about, nor did my family. I think everyone’s just assumed I was managing fine as I was – because it looked that way to everyone else.

After college I wasted a lot of time doing stupid stuff and still living at home, then I met someone and we had a baby together. I probably wasn’t mature enough to have a baby so young but it happened and we were committed.

My partners family have always been encouraging, talking to me about work and asking how I plan to provide for my family. They have a lot of patience with me and have supported us a lot.

Earlier this year my partners Mum told me about a volunteering opportunity she had seen appear at the local library. I laughed at first – a library? How boring. I never read or enjoyed books growing up so why would I go there?

To please my partners Mum I followed it up not giving it a second thought. I was surprised to be invited into the library to have a chat to someone there about the role.

Going along I was surprised to see a few other volunteers who were also my age, it wasn’t full of retirees as I expected! Everyone was really relaxed about me being a hearing aid user and didn’t make too much fuss about it either.

So at first I started volunteering just a couple of days a week. My role involves: Organising the stock, supporting customers, overseeing local groups that use the space and helping kids that come in to do their homework. It’s so varied and best of all the environment is never too noisy or distracting for me to follow others.

It has taken me by surprise to see how much I enjoy all of this. The role has given me a purpose and as I’ve gained more experience and skills I have started to feel good about myself for the first time.

I’ve now expanded my volunteering to four days a week and I’ve had the confidence to actively seek paid work now that I have this experience under my belt and on my CV.

I never realised how low my confidence was before volunteering. I didn’t believe in myself, hated talking to others – especially new people, and would just do the bare minimum in social interactions to get by or pretend to look interested.

My partner has noticed the difference in me and being at the library has also meant I have started to bring home books for our young child – something I have never done for myself – I don’t think I have ever owned a library card in my life!

Wearing hearing aids and being deaf was something I always thought held me back and made me different. I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder about it and felt the world owed me something so I didn’t want to work hard.

But now I see a variety of people coming and going in the library I realise it’s all about mindset. How you live your life and apply yourself to it can really change things.

I’m grateful that I had a go at doing something different as I now feel more hopeful about the future and what it might bring for my young family. Who knows what’s next!

This blog has been written anonymously as part of the Insight series where readers are invited to share their story or news about their interesting job with The Limping Chicken. If you have a story to share please email rebecca@rawithey.com

Image courtesy of Pexels.