Insight: Life with ADHD for a deaf person like me (BSL)

Watching the episode I could instantly relate to a lot of her anxieties surrounding ADHD. She didn’t like being stereotyped one way and she found it was helpful to have the diagnosis so she could understand herself more and other people could understand her and her ‘ways.’

I felt the same when I was diagnosed at the age of 26.

Growing up, I attended mainstream schools and so managing my teenage years whilst having an ‘un-cool’ cochlear implant was a struggle to say the least.

I have a few deaf friends but the majority of my friendship circle are hearing, which suits me fine as I have English as my first language. (I went deaf at a young age due to meningitis and have been implanted since.)

I was always the class clown and liked making people laugh, I found school boring and most of all – slow. My teachers seemed to like me and they always told me if I worked a little harder I would go far, as I’m naturally quite clever and I find it easy to pick things up.

I never understood why we had to stay in school for six whole hours though and I would do anything I could to leave the classroom or change up the routine.

My favourite excuse was that my implant battery had died and I had to go and ‘sort it out’ – nobody ever questioned that, ha!

I excelled in Physical Education (I loved trampolining and most sports at school) and went off in this direction, working at a local youth club delivering sports to young children.

I knew college and University wouldn’t suit me – I always joked I was ‘allergic to paperwork’ but I managed to get a job and I enjoyed the variety and working in sports, encouraging and inspiring others.

My friends always joked that I was like a whirlwind, I would turn up to social events late or forget about them completely because I’d get lost in a game and not realise what time it was. They’d say that it was just typical of me, and I’d laugh along, also accepting that that was just how I was. I never questioned why at this point.

I dated a few girls but they’d often accuse me of being intense or of being too flippant. That’s when I started to wonder why I was always like this, even if I cared about someone. Was I selfish? Self absorbed?

My parents broke up when I was younger and my Dad has a lot of similar traits to me. He gets really excited about topics but rarely finishes a conversation as he gets swept up in something else. He has also had several relationships since my Mum but nobody can seem to stick around.

One of my Dads friends works in psychotherapy and somehow managed to diagnose my Dad with ADHD. As my Dad and I chatted about this casually, he told me that I probably had it too, given that we were so alike.

After a couple of missed appointments I found myself also being diagnosed with ADHD and it felt like a lightbulb had come on inside my head. The therapist explained that my brain worked differently to ‘most’ but I could utilise this to get the best out of it.

I had always felt like I ‘settled’ with a job that was easy – but no opportunities for development – so I wondered if it was possible with the right support to actually get some qualifications and stick it out in an exam?

In the past at school, I would always flick through exam papers really quick and get out of there as soon as I could or start distracting others, but the therapist showed me tools I could use; timers, fidget toys, breath work and even little exercises I can do to ground myself enough to complete a task.

So, I made the monumental decision to go back to ‘school’ and I re-took my GCSE’s at a local college which helped me get another job with lots of opportunities for training and eventually I hope to go in management within the sports industry.

Having an ADHD diagnosis also means people don’t get so offended by my ways. If I take 3 days to reply to a text, you just need to remind me – I’m not ignoring you I promise!

Living with ADHD for me is like living with lots of movement. It’s also why I don’t mind the silence I get when I take my cochlear implant off – when I go swimming it feels really peaceful even though I’m still moving my body – it is such a good energy release for me and I feel less distracted by what’s around me.

I can’t imagine not having ADHD as this is the way I’ve always been but at least now I know there are tools I can use to support me if I want to go in a direction that doesn’t feel natural at first.