Jessie Mycroft: A Valentines reflection by a Cochlear Implant User

Valentine’s Day is all about romance: whispered sweet nothings, candlelit dinners, and long conversations that stretch into the night. For me—a deaf cochlear implant user—those “whispered” moments are more like “Sorry, can you say that again?” But honestly? That’s kind of the magic.

Dating while deaf isn’t a tragedy or a rom-com obstacle. It’s just dating… with subtitles requested.

I’ve dated with my CI on, off, dangling by a magnet, or sitting dramatically on a restaurant table while I give my brain a break. I’ve misheard compliments as insults, names as foods, and “I like you” as something that absolutely did not sound like that. And yet—love still finds its way through background noise, bad lighting, and the occasional awkward “wait, what?”

So, in honour of Valentine’s Day, here’s an ode to deaf dating—complete with 14 fun tips for my fellow deaf and CI-using romantics out there.

1. Put it in your profile.
   Confidence is hot. “Deaf / CI user—please face me when you flirt” is a great filter.
2. First dates should be well-lit.
   Romantic darkness is the enemy of lipreading.
3. Background noise is not your friend.
   Love does not need a DJ.
4. It’s okay to ask people to repeat themselves.
   If they’re annoyed now, imagine them annoyed during marriage.
5. Teach them how to communicate with you.
   They’re not mind readers—and neither are you (unless you are, in which case, wow).
6. Mishearing is basically a personality trait.
   Laugh it off. Always.
7. Don’t apologise for your deafness.
   You didn’t break. You’re just… Bluetooth-enabled.
8. Choose dates with activities, not just talking.
   Walks. Games. Coffee where you can see each other’s faces.
9. Lipreading fatigue is real.
   It’s okay to take listening breaks—even from people you like.
10. If they mock your CI—run.
    If they’re curious and kind—green flag.
11. Romance doesn’t need perfect hearing.
    It needs effort, patience, and mutual attraction (preferably).
12. Your CI is not a personality flaw.
    It’s a conversation starter—and sometimes a bionic flex.
13. Communication styles matter more than volume.
    Shouting is not clarity.
14. The right person won’t see deafness as a “thing.”
    They’ll just see you

By Jessie Mycroft.
Based in New Jersey, USA, Jessie is a tutor by day and Karaoke Queen by night. Yes, deaf people can sing! Maybe badly in her case – but that’s irrelevant 🙂 

Image courtesy of Pexels.